Your Wish List 12/28/2011
We hope you had a very happy and loving holiday season. Now that all the gifts are unwrapped, the ribbons in tatters and the stockings unstuffed, what is it that you are still craving? What gift do you crave that no store can sell, no box can contain? Is it more love? more affection? more time to enjoy with your lover? Is it a new kind of touch or sexual play? Prostate massage? Or foot massage? Each of us crave a unique constellation of pleasures - and we can only be satisfied, only be fulfilled when we discover our desires and ask for what we want. So now that the holidays have passed, ask yourself - what more do you want? Commit to asking for and receiving what you need to feel pleasured, loved and fulfilled. Pleasure, in any form, is the ultimate gift we can give and receive. Add Comment Hi Pleasure Mechanics, My boyfriend recently downloaded your Prostate Massage video and asked me to try it out with him. I'm a little freaked out but also kind of excited by the idea - he seemed really turned on by it. Do other women like doing this? Is this a normal thing for straight people to do? I guess I just never expected my jock guy to be into this kind of thing! Thanks, Sarah Hey Sarah, Fabulous that you are willing to consider offering this pleasure to your man. We assure you, it is a totally normal thing for a straight guy to be into - our Guide to Prostate Massage is a bestseller around the world for a reason! Men are discovering that this can be a highly pleasurable addition to their sex lives, and a lot of women are quite enjoying it as well! Learning more about the anatomy may help you get used to the idea. For example, did you know that up to 2/3rds of a man's penis is situated internally, and can be stimulated through anal penetration? The anus (on both men and women) is one of the most sensitive parts of the human body, and is linked up to the same pleasure receptors as the genitals. Anal pleasure is a totally normal, totally natural experience for men and women of all sexual orientations. When you combine prostate massage with handjob techniques, you can literally stimulate all parts of the male sexual system at once - an experience all men should experience at least once in their lifetime! Prostate massage is a very pleasurable practice for most men, and there is growing evidence that it also helps maintain prostate health. So go for it! Our guide will help you take it slowly and make it a completely pleasurable experience for both of you. I would also encourage you to feel into the pleasure of being the Giver, the Penetrator. Many women find this incredibly sexy,empowering, exciting. . . Let us know how you find it! For other women who have given anal stimulation or prostate massage to their boyfriends, husbands and lovers - how did it make YOU feel? Wishing you lots of pleasure, Christine We get a lot of great questions from men and women around the world about how to improve their sexual experience. One of the most common questions from men is about how they can learn to control their ejaculations and stay hard longer during sexual experiences. We have worked with hundreds of men on this issue, and have developed proven strategies for delaying ejaculation, last longer in bed, and experiencing more pleasure. These strategies are the key to experiencing male multiple orgasms, and men are always shocked to discover just how much arousal they are capable of experiencing. All men deserve the chance to optimize their sexual experience and become the lover they want to be. That is why we have gathered all of our information, techniques and strategies for mastering ejaculation control into our first Pleasure Mechanics Handbook. It is now available to download as a pdf or for your Kindle or Kindle enabled device from Amazon.com.  What is the one thing we could all use a little more of in the bedroom? The magic ingredient to make any intimate relationship stronger - and hotter? Massage! As you know, we are committed to sharing the skills of erotic touch so you can enjoy more pleasure and become a better lover. We draw on our years of massage training and experience combined with our knowledge as sex educators to bring you effective strategies for maximum pleasure. We are thrilled to announce the release of the newest addition to our video series. Over the coming months, we'll be bringing you guides to the skills of full body massage, so you can learn to touch your lover's entire body from head to toe. Massage is simply the best kind of foreplay - in just a few minutes you can soothe away life's daily stress and create a full-body wave of pleasure. Massage warms up the body, so it is easier to get hot when you are ready! The Pleasure Mechanics Guide to Butt Massage teaches you the skills of massaging the butt muscles, one of the biggest and most central muscle groups of the entire body. If you want to learn how to relax and pleasure your lover's body, learning butt massage is the quickest way to the best results. Butt massage techniques are an excellent compliment to the skills you can learn in our Sexual Technique Video Series. Our highest commitment is your pleasure and sexual fulfillment. Join us to learn proven strategies for immediate results! As we read through the newly-released sexual survey by Indiana University's Center for Sexual Health Promotion, we are finding many statistics that make us even more committed to sharing our techniques of sexual pleasure. It is clear from the data that while Americans are enjoying a more varied sex life than we were just 20 years ago, there is a lot of room for improvement when it comes to sexual pleasure and fulfillment. Here is one data set that we have a lot to say about: "in all age cohorts, the largest proportion of men and women reported having engaged solely in PVI [Penis-Vaginal Intercourse] (32.9% men, 39.0% women). Contrast that with only about 6% of participants reporting that they combined "partnered masturbation" (what we affectionately refer to as Handjobs and Fingering) with intercourse. To add insult to injury, the study reports that "for women and men, the presence or absence of partnered masturbation was not associated with orgasm." We are dismayed that nearly 40% of women reported intercourse alone with no warm-up or foreplay activities. Solo masturbation, oral sex or stimulation with fingers is an essential part of lovemaking. Intercourse without warm-up can lead to pain during intercourse, lack of lubrication, lack of arousal and inability for the woman to experience an orgasm during intercourse. Most women want and crave more foreplay - so why are all of these couples having intercourse alone with no other arousing activities? We know that, with skill and confidence, stimulation with hands is one of the most reliable ways to bring a woman to orgasm. With your hands, you can stimulate every part of a woman's sexual anatomy, fine-tune your stimulation to match her arousal, create a wide range of sensations and bring women to powerful and multiple orgasms. The hands are the most dexterous and sensitive tools we have to stimulate our lover. Skipping ahead to intercourse without warming up with pleasurable touch is a wasted opportunity - women are much more likely to have orgasms during intercourse if they have already climaxed, or brought very close to climax, before being penetrated. Oral sex is great - but it is even better when it is combined with touch and penetration with skilled fingers. So why does this massive study of 5,865 men and women not reflect the pleasurable potential of the hands? Why are men and women skipping stimulation with their hands all together? How is it that being touched by your lover is not a predictor of orgasm during a sexual encounter? Perhaps it is because our culture has lost the sexual skills of erotic touch. We do not learn how to use our hands to touch our lover, how to bring our lover to multiple orgasms with our hands and fingers. Unless you dedicate thousands of dollars and months of your life to go to massage school, there are few options to learn how to touch with skill. Our video guides are dedicated to sharing what we learned in professional massage training and our somatic sexology certification with men and women all around the world. We believe hands can be powerful tools of pleasure, opening up new realms of arousal and orgasm, if we learn how to use them. We hope that as our erotic techniques spread across the country, more men and women will include erotic touch as part of foreplay and lovemaking - and perhaps the next national survey will have new data to report on the orgasmic potential of Americans. The Path to Organic Orgasm 09/27/2010
Have you ever had an organic orgasm? Pamela Madsen, author of the upcoming memoir Shameless, fertility advocate and fearless sex educator, recently blogged about what she named "Organic Orgasms." She defines "Organic Orgasm" as the climax after a slow build of arousal, the journey of paying attention to sensations in the body, and the pressure-free environment of making love without performance anxiety. Pamela is right - Organic Orgasms are the ones that nourish us. Quickie orgasms can be great - sometimes they are just what you need to release stress and enjoy a surge of pleasure. Then there is "slow sex" - the long build up of desire, being seduced by your lover, the opportunity to feel full body touch and the crescendo of arousal, followed by the sweet release of pleasure and, perhaps, a powerful climax that rocks you to the core. Looking back on your sex life, which orgasms do you remember? Quickies or Slow Build? We are big fans of full body eroticism. We don't teach the techniques of male and female arousal and orgasm to put more pressure on lovers to have bigger, stronger, wetter, hotter orgasms. We teach the techniques of arousal and pleasure so lovers can have the confidence and skill to touch one another without stress or performance anxiety. When you can relax into sex, giving and receiving pleasure, savoring each touch and awakening all parts of your sexual system, sexual pleasure expands to fill every cell of your body. Our eroticism is native to our bodies - our sexual pleasure is part of who we are. Our sexual technique videos are designed to remind you to slow down, touch with love and presence, and pay attention to your own and your lover's pleasure. The stronger orgasms will come, the full-body sensations will emerge, only if we take the time to learn what it is we are each capable of. To enjoy orgasms - powerful, authentic, Organic Orgasms, Pamela Madsen encourages you to pay attention to the journey of pleasure inherent in every sexual encounter, every experience of making love. We wholeheartedly agree - and offer you guidance on enjoying that journey even more by becoming the skilled, confident lover you were born to be. Reciprocity in the Bedroom 08/23/2010
Is there an imaginary scoreboard above your bed? Many couples act as if they need to stay "even" when it comes to giving and receiving pleasure. Yet, reciprocity is not a one-for-one exchange. It is important to make sure both of your needs and desires are being acknowledged, but you may also find that there is a natural balance within your relationship, or phases of your relationship, that are not "equal." Balance does not have to be symmetrical. What is essential is to check in with yourself and one another and make sure you are not developing any resentment about how much pleasure one person is receiving and how much stimulation the other is giving. If you are both satisfied and fulfilled by your sex life, that is indeed an accomplishment of a harmonious balance.  4/15/11 Update: For an extensive guide on edging techniques and ejaculation control, check out our new ebook! Handbook On Ejaculation Control One common technique to prolong arousal and increase sexual pleasure is called "edging." Edging involves paying attention to your level of arousal, and developing your ability to know when you are getting close to orgasm. When you approach orgasm, you tone down stimulation or stop touching yourself and practice riding that edge - staying just under the threshold of orgasm. If you want to prolong your arousal and delay ejaculation, edging is a technique to explore. Some people find this technique to be both effective and pleasurable, prolonging arousal and building up sensation towards a more intense orgasm. Other people get frustrated and don't like the sensation of constantly "holding back" orgasm. Try it for yourself and see how it feels. Our video guide on handjob techniques will guide you through the strokes and strategies to create maximum pleasure while exploring the edging technique. In masturbation, edging can be a really useful exploration, bringing your awareness to your arousal and experimenting with what it feels like to ride that edge of climax. You can experiment with different rhythms of stimulation, breathing techniques and body movements and learn about your arousal cycle. All of this self-knowledge can then be brought to your lover and contribute to a richer partnered sex life. Explore edging with a partner if you want in-depth practice of communication. As your partner stimulates you towards climax, both of you then must become aware of your body and arousal - communicate about how close you are feeling and explore the sensation of staying just on the edge of orgasm. Can your partner feel the tiny contractions of the pelvic muscles that precede orgasm? Can your partner hear your breath changing, notice the shift in your moans, or detect other signs of climax in your body? Explore ways to keep your arousal high, while incorporating more full body touch. Playing with maintaining arousal with a partner can be a great way to learn about one another, discover new techniques and learn to pay attention and communicate with both precision and passion.  Sexologists and sex educators often draw the cycle of an orgasm as a line chart - making sexual pleasure look more like a financial report than an erotic experience. While arousal and sensations are by no means a linear path - these charts can be useful to draw your attention to the patterns of your arousal. Conventional wisdom says that women need a longer warm-up stage, a smooth and gradual uphill climb towards arousal and orgasm. Once they have peaked, women might have several orgasms, the top of their chart looking like a mountain range. Then, a nice downhill descent towards afterglow. Men, it is commonly believed, have a sharp uphill climb. Men can be turned on by just about anything, climb quickly towards one dramatic climactic peak and then a sharp fall downhill towards a soft penis and sleep. We've all seen these charts (and if not, they are here for your perusal) and perhaps experienced a similar arousal pattern. But most men and most women have had orgasmic experiences that are way off the charts. If your arousal and orgasm were a terrain of peaks and valleys - and if you were able to chart your actual arousal, what would that chart look like? Would it be the same time after time, or dramatically different each time? If you could chart your most pleasurable orgasm, what would that look like? Do you want to experience more intense orgasms, multiple orgasms, or full body orgasms? What do your lover's orgasms look like? What Does Your Orgasm Sound Like? 05/17/2010
How much noise do you make during sex? The bed squeaking doesn't count - how much noise do you make?  Many of us learned our arousal patterns while masturbating as a youth - and a lot of us had to be absolutely quiet for fear of discovery. This arousal pattern of silent enjoyment can stick with people well into adulthood. People are quiet for other reasons - they don't want the neighbors to hear, or they are worried they will sound silly, or they don't want to sound like a porn star. Notice how much noise you do or don't make during both partnered sex and masturbation. Also notice your response when your partner makes noise - do you find it a turn-on or do you get embarrassed? Making noise is pleasurable for a few reasons. First, noise serves as an important communication to your partner during sex. If you are getting highly aroused by a particular stroke or sensation, letting them know with your noise can tell them to keep it up without having to use words. While words like "Yes, yes" can be easy enough to say during high arousal, sometimes words are lost to us and moans and grunts are a more natural way to speak to your lover. Making noise also requires you to open your throat and mouth. Sensations flow up and down your body, from the point of contact (for example, your genitals) to your brain, where those signals are interpreted as pleasurable. If your shoulders, neck and throat are constricted, you will feel less sensation in the rest of your body. Making noise is a sure way to begin to relax your neck and allow the free flow of sensations through your entire body. Finally, noise lets you tap into the more primal, animal side of sexual expression. All too often, people stay polite during sex. Sex is one of the few parts of our life where we can let go, release ourselves of social niceties and feel our body in a raw, instinctual, ancient relationship with pleasure. This letting go requires trusting your partner and letting go of shame and guilt that might make you hold back. But if you can surrender and let yourself be a little more wild, a little more bestial - then you can tap into tons of pleasure and find sex to be all the more relaxing. Especially for people who have to be professional, polite, and contained in the rest of their life, losing control, opening your mouth and grunting, groaning, moaning and screaming your pleasure during sex can be incredibly satisfying. Noise during sex doesn't sound like a porn movie- those scripted high-pitched moans are not what everyone's authentic pleasure sounds like. Making noise feels best when it is a real expression of your pleasure - so don't try to hard, just let noise emit from your throat. Begin by making a sound on the exhale. A slight moan, a little grunt - just focus on your breathing and make a little noise each time you exhale. Don't overthink it. Let the sound build with your arousal - if something feels especially good, let your partner know with louder or prolonged sounds. Encourage your partner to make sounds as well and see how it shifts your experience of sex. From the low animal grunts to high operatic arias, sex noises can be your own personal soundtrack of pleasure. | Download To Own
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