Pleasure Mechanics

Doctors and sex therapists agree - stress is the number one threat to your sex drive and intimate relationship. Stress damages your health, puts you in a bad mood, and kills your sex drive. Your body physically can not get aroused if you are stressed out!

Massage is one of the best ways to relax, unwind and get rid of stress. If, like most people. you find stress is getting in the way of your sex life, we recommend several 5-10 minute massages a week for maximum stress reduction.

By spending this time with your partner, exchanging massage and relaxing together, you may find that not only are you less stressed out, but you may also be more turned on. Many couples find that by sharing quality touch, they are more likely to be in the mood for sex, and the sex they have becomes way more exciting. This combination of massage and sex is a surefire way to counteract the damage of stress and live a more healthy, relaxed and pleasurable life.

Learning massage together will be a crash course in both verbal and non-verbal communication. Most relationship experts say that communication is the lifeblood of a healthy relationship. Massage is a beautiful way to use both language and body to communicate what you are feeling, what you need, and where your boundaries are. 

In the first stages of learning massage, you will learn to verbally communicate what works and what doesn't - being able to say "That feels great, but it would feel even better with a little more pressure" will make the difference between a good massage and a great massage. Likewise, when you are giving massage, it is essential to begin asking questions like "Will you tell me when this feels just right?" or "Would you like a little more massage on your back before I move on?" 

Asking these practical questions begins the conversation about physical desires. The translation to the bedroom can be seamless - you can learn to ask questions such as "Would more pressure on your clitoris feel better?" or "Would you mind touching my thighs more? I especially love light touch on the inside of my thighs"

This communication doesn't have to happen during massage or during sex - often these conversations are more useful out of the bedroom. After every massage, you can ask "What were your favorite parts? What could have made it even better?" Communicating about your preferences and desires is not clinical or cold - it is a high expression of love and concern, showing you care enough about your partner to strive for ever more pleasurable touch. 
 
We communicate not just with our words, but with our bodies, sounds, touch, gestures. How close you sit on the couch together is a strong communication. Sharing massage and touch is like learning a new language together - it doubles your ability to speak to one another. A simple loving touch can communicate caring, support and compassion. Bringing more attention to your hands and bodies will make clear the areas that you succesfully communicate your love and other areas where you may need to evaluate what you are saying to one another with your physical actions. 

For most people, the single biggest roadblock to experiencing pleasure is stress. Stress has a negative effect on both male and female libido: this much is simply fact. The question has become, what do we do about the fact that our stressful lives are one huge turn-off?

The stress of daily life wears at us, literally, causing physical damage to our bodies and creating negativity in our relationships. Stress comes from many sources: work, family, concerns about money, health, global issues and personal worries. It is important to locate the top stressors in your life and begin creating strategies to minimize stress at it's source. 

But let's face it: we can't always quit a stressful job or get away from a stressful family situation. So the essential strategy is learning how to cope with stress and minimize it's effect on your life and health. 

There are many great ways to reduce stress: exercise, meditation or prayer, dancing, whatever activities make you feel relaxed and happy. 

There are two surefire stress reducers that also serve the dual purpose of strengthening your relationship and bringing you more pleasure: massage and sex.

No matter what your sex life is like right now, you can benefit from our proven techniques of pleasure. Learning massage together at home with one of our video guides is a crash course in intimate touch and communication that will benefit every aspect of your intimate relationship. 

Even if you are highly orgasmic, deeply connected to your partner and have no sexual complaints to speak of, trying something new will refresh and invigorate your intimacy. 

When we get into habits, or sexual ruts, even our favorite activities become less thrilling. Having a larger repertoire of touch can make erotic play better for both partners. 

If you have never had an orgasm or are feeling distant from your lover, sharing massage is a perfect way to begin the intimate communication and exchange of pleasurable touch. 

Wherever you are now, and no matter where you want to go, it is always worthwhile to focus on erotic enhancement. This is not about fixing any problems or creating yet another to-do list in your life. 

Prioritizing pleasure is simply recognizing pleasure as something that you are willing to make time for, and trusting in the immense benefits of experiencing more relaxing and pleasurable touch. 

Once you begin sharing more massage and receiving more touch, you can notice for yourself the changes in your life, and choose to spend more or less time focusing on pleasure and stress-reducing massage. 

Some couples will want to carve out a few hours a week for long, focused massage exchange. 
For other couples, it makes more sense to take a few minutes every day to offer one another touch. 
Only you know what will work for you.

With the latest addition to our Full Body Massage for Lovers series, we cover perhaps the most popular form of massage: neck, shoulder and back massage.

Most people love a good back rub, but few people know how to offer one. We guide you, stroke by stroke, in sharing the pleasures of back massage at home. We share the tips from the pros that allow you to get deep, satisfying pressure without wearing out your hands. You'll learn how to massage the shoulders to soothe out the tension many of us carry in our neck and shoulder muscles. From broad strokes that cover the entire back to focused pressure for areas of tension, we make it easy to give your lover fabulous, pleasurable and relaxing touch at home.

Our video guides now cover every inch of your lover's body - from head to toe. Warm up and enjoy full body touch with our massage videos. Then heat it up with the skills you learn in our erotic touch technique series!

Announcing the newest video guide in our Full Body Massage for Lovers series! The Pleasure Mechanics Guide to Leg and Foot Massage shares the secrets of the pros for giving pleasurable, relaxing massage at home. Foot massage is many people's absolute favorite way to relax after a hard day, but few people know how to give a satisfying foot massage. We show you how to create deep, penetrating pressure that will create full body relaxation and pleasure. And we don't stop at the ankles - this guide covers the entire leg and foot, from hip to toe! Learn soothing calf massage, effective techniques for the large muscles of the thighs, and how to bring it all together with long flowing strokes that cover the entire leg.

If you or your lover already love foot massage, this video guide will take your skills to a whole new level. If you haven't shared this kind of massage with your lover, try it out and see how much pleasure you can share in just a few minutes with quality leg and foot massage.

"Withholding pleasurable touch is a kind of punishment. Our bodies have developed to seek out that which sustains us (pleasure) and avoid that which threatens us (pain). We are a population of touch starved individuals, trying not to look desperate and trying to achieve some quality of life in spite of ourselves. Touch needs are often confused with sex drive - and many people find that when they are receiving loving touch their desperate need for sex is minimized and they can make healthier sexual choices."

I came across this piece of writing today - from my late great massage teacher Chester Mainard. Chester taught me so much about the importance of massage as a vehicle for communicating love. All of the work we do is designed to teach men and women around the world how to touch with more skill and confidence - so touch becomes a second language for communicating love and affection. We hope our videos inspire you to share more touch with those you love, and that your quality of life increases dramatically!
 

Learning massage together will be a crash course in both verbal and non-verbal communication. Most relationship experts say that communication is the lifeblood of a healthy relationship. Massage is a beautiful way to use both language and body to communicate what you are feeling, what you need, and where your boundaries are.

 In massage, there is a sense of "just right" - just the right amount of pressure, just the right speed, just the right spots. This is one of massage's greatest pleasures - when your lover touches you in a way that feels "just right" and you can totally relax and savor the touch.



"Just Right" - will change over time, so it is up to both you and your partner to find this place of “just right” through active communication. 

In the first stages of learning massage, you will learn to verbally communicate what works and what doesn't - being able to say "That feels great, but it would feel even better with a little more pressure" will make the difference between a good massage and a great massage.

Likewise, when you are giving massage, it is essential to begin asking questions like "Will you tell me when this feels just right?" or "Would you like a little more massage on your back before I move on?" Asking these practical questions begins the conversation about physical desires. The translation to the bedroom can be seamless as you develop the skills to ask for exactly the kind of touch you want.



We communicate not just with our words, but with our bodies, sounds, touch, gestures. How close you sit on the couch together is a strong communication of your intimacy. Sharing massage and touch is like learning a new language together - it doubles your ability to speak to one another. A simple loving touch can communicate caring, support and compassion. Bringing more attention to your hands and bodies will make clear the areas that you successfully communicate your love and other areas where you may need to evaluate what you are saying to one another with your physical actions. 



Finding words during a massage or sex is easier for some people than others. Explore communicating your pleasure and wishes with your body movements, gestures and sounds. If your partner is doing something you love, tell them by moaning or sighing. Move your body into their touch. Use your hands and guide them in exactly the kind of touch you want - put your hands over theirs and show them what would feel good. Then, take your hands away and allow them to continue. Use hand gestures and agree ahead of time on what they mean - if you want more pressure, wave them forward. If you want to slow down, use a flat palm. This is a lot like helping someone parallel park - waving frantically means "Come on, you've got lots of space!" but a firm show of the palm means "Stop!" You can develop a whole language with your hands that can give one another very specific information without using a single word. 



Whenever possible, offer positive feedback. Tell your partner what is feeling good and what they are doing well. "That feels good, could you do it a little softer?" This builds confidence and makes it easier to hear requests for change. If the only time you say anything is negative or demanding, your lover may lose patience. Thanking them and giving them positive feedback as much as you can, with your words, sounds, movements and gestures, will enhance your experience and make it easier for you both to hear the more challenging feedback. Also pay attention to how you phrase these requests - "I hate it when you tickle me like that!" feels really different to hear than "I really enjoy deeper pressure" or "Can you use a firmer stroke, my thighs are really sensitive right there." 

This communication doesn't always have to happen during massage - sometimes these conversations are more useful after the experience is complete. 

After every massage, you can ask "What were your favorite parts? What could have made it even better?" In the hours or days after a massage, take the time to thank one another and pay attention to how you are feeling. If something worked or felt particularly good, mention it. "I loved it when you were using such deep pressure on my back, it was really relaxing" Telling your lover what worked highly increases the chances of receiving that same touch in the future - it adds that move to the repertoire of pleasure that you can draw from again and again.

What is the one thing we could all use a little more of in the bedroom? The magic ingredient to make any intimate relationship stronger - and hotter?

Massage!

As you know, we are committed to sharing the skills of erotic touch so you can enjoy more pleasure and become a better lover. We draw on our years of massage training and experience combined with our knowledge as sex educators to bring you effective strategies for maximum pleasure.

We are thrilled to announce the release of the newest addition to our video series. Over the coming months, we'll be bringing you guides to the skills of full body massage, so you can learn to touch your lover's entire body from head to toe. Massage is simply the best kind of foreplay - in just a few minutes you can soothe away life's daily stress and create a full-body wave of pleasure. Massage warms up the body, so it is easier to get hot when you are ready!

The Pleasure Mechanics Guide to Butt Massage teaches you the skills of massaging the butt muscles, one of the biggest and most central muscle groups of the entire body. If you want to learn how to relax and pleasure your lover's body, learning butt massage is the quickest way to the best results.

Butt massage techniques are an excellent compliment to the skills you can learn in our Sexual Technique Video Series.  Our highest commitment is your pleasure and sexual fulfillment. Join us to learn proven strategies for immediate results!