Pleasure Mechanics

It was hard to fall asleep last night, even after 14 hours of driving in the rain.

Images from the past 10 years were flashing through my head. My four years at Vassar, were spent mostly working on Squirm Magazine and all of the events we created - filling my head with memories of erotic photo shoots, long hours editing literary submissions, and of course, the parties and events that made Squirm the celebration of sex that extended long beyond its high-gloss pages.  I thought about the direct line from Squirm into my professional life, driving cross country after graduation, heading to San Francisco to show up at Annie Sprinkle's door and begin my work as a professional sex educator. The past 10 years of my life have been defined by my work on Squirm, and it is with a sense of profound gratitude that I begin this weekend of celebrating the 10th anniversary of campus sex magazines.

I am now sitting at the hotel near campus, sorting through my archives. I saved everything - event fliers, meeting notes, letters to administration defending our right to publish an explicit magazine using college funds.

Fliers with language like "Post-Modern Cock"and "An Evening of Erotica" fill my table. Memories flood my groggy brain. I barely notice when a large group of college athletes file in, enthusiastically hitting the breakfast buffet with the hunger of 20 year old boys. Then I hear it "Squirm! I've heard about that - I thought it was just an urban legend!" - when I look up three of the boys at a nearby table are eagerly looking at the pile of magazines on my table, and all I can do is look up at smile.

"Nope, not a legend. Vassar has been publishing this magazine for 10 years now!"

Then, a pause, and I add "Does your campus have a sex magazine yet?"