Pleasure Mechanics

We humans are capable of a wide range of sexual arousal and pleasurable climaxes. Some people like to have one intense climax, others enjoy having a series of orgasms. Some people struggle to have an orgasm at all, while others want to learn to sustain arousal and delay orgasm or ejaculation. With so many possible ways to feel sexual pleasure, it is important to explore a wide range of pleasure responses and be able to experience the kind of arousal and climax you most desire.

People have different sexual goals. Men are often more concerned about trying to prolong arousal and even not ejaculate during arousal, while women are often interested in becoming orgasmic or multi-orgasmic. we can all experience both, and here are some tools to help you experience a wider range of arousal and climax.

To begin paying more attention to your arousal patterns and develop an ability to author your own arousal experiences, it is good to begin with your masturbation practice. This is like a laboratory for your sexual expression. Then you can begin experimenting with a partner. 

For most people, the single biggest roadblock to experiencing pleasure is stress. Stress has a negative effect on both male and female libido: this much is simply fact. The question has become, what do we do about the fact that our stressful lives are one huge turn-off?

The stress of daily life wears at us, literally, causing physical damage to our bodies and creating negativity in our relationships. Stress comes from many sources: work, family, concerns about money, health, global issues and personal worries. It is important to locate the top stressors in your life and begin creating strategies to minimize stress at it's source. 

But let's face it: we can't always quit a stressful job or get away from a stressful family situation. So the essential strategy is learning how to cope with stress and minimize it's effect on your life and health. 

There are many great ways to reduce stress: exercise, meditation or prayer, dancing, whatever activities make you feel relaxed and happy. 

There are two surefire stress reducers that also serve the dual purpose of strengthening your relationship and bringing you more pleasure: massage and sex.

No matter what your sex life is like right now, you can benefit from our proven techniques of pleasure. Learning massage together at home with one of our video guides is a crash course in intimate touch and communication that will benefit every aspect of your intimate relationship. 

Even if you are highly orgasmic, deeply connected to your partner and have no sexual complaints to speak of, trying something new will refresh and invigorate your intimacy. 

When we get into habits, or sexual ruts, even our favorite activities become less thrilling. Having a larger repertoire of touch can make erotic play better for both partners. 

If you have never had an orgasm or are feeling distant from your lover, sharing massage is a perfect way to begin the intimate communication and exchange of pleasurable touch. 

Wherever you are now, and no matter where you want to go, it is always worthwhile to focus on erotic enhancement. This is not about fixing any problems or creating yet another to-do list in your life. 

Prioritizing pleasure is simply recognizing pleasure as something that you are willing to make time for, and trusting in the immense benefits of experiencing more relaxing and pleasurable touch. 

Once you begin sharing more massage and receiving more touch, you can notice for yourself the changes in your life, and choose to spend more or less time focusing on pleasure and stress-reducing massage. 

Some couples will want to carve out a few hours a week for long, focused massage exchange. 
For other couples, it makes more sense to take a few minutes every day to offer one another touch. 
Only you know what will work for you.

Our friends at Babeland are offering an amazing deal right now - donate $5 towards comprehensive sex education and receive a free JimmyJane massage candle (a $29 value!) This is such a win-win, we encourage you to head over soon to take part in this fabulous opportunity. We are huge fans of massage candles, which you light and allow to melt down into a pool of warm massage oil. 

Trust us, this will be the best $5 you have spent, and SIECUS will benefit from our collective efforts to ensure all teens have access to balanced, comprehensive sex education!.

The "Nubby G" vibrator from Babeland is a classic g-spot vibrator, with a small bend at the tip to reach the top wall of the vaginal canal where the g-spot is located. In addition, this toy has a ring of bumpy nubs that add a little texture to the sensations as you press it into your body. The vibration is powered by two AA batteries and offers variable speed, ranging from a very gentle purr to a moderate buzz. Folks who like very strong vibrations will be left wanting more, while those who prefer a more delicate sensation may be happy with the range this toy offers.

At $25, this is a solid investment in your pleasure - a good "starter" g-spot vibe for those just beginning to explore this area. The material is a soft "Thermoplastic Rubber" and is phthalate-free, an essential quality to look for in any soft-rubber vibrator. It washes up easily between uses and is a pretty satisfying texture, not too soft but not too firm.

Ultimately, we believe that your hands are your best sex toys. For full g-spot exploration and those women who want to explore female ejaculation, we think hands are the best way to explore the g-spot and create maximum pleasure. Simply put, no toy can match the dexterity and sensitivity of your lover's (or your own) hands. The erotic touch techniques covered in our Guide to Fingering include g-spot stimulation techniques that are time tested to wake up and arouse this essential area of female sexual anatomy. But if you want to add a little vibration to the mix, or simply want to diversify your sex life with a new toy, the Nubby G from Babeland is a safe place to start. Babeland also has a fabulous site dedicated to information about g-spot play, so if you are curious about the subject, visit the G-Spot Center and read up!

* Our friends at Babeland offer Pleasure Mechanics readers an exclusive 10% discount - just use  the discount code PLEASE11 at checkout.

Sexologists and sex educators often draw the cycle of an orgasm as a line chart - making sexual pleasure look more like a financial report than an erotic experience. While arousal and sensations are by no means a linear path - these charts can be useful to draw your attention to the patterns of your arousal. 

Conventional wisdom says that women need a longer warm-up stage, a smooth and gradual uphill climb towards arousal and orgasm. Once there, women might have several orgasms, the top of their chart looking like a mountain range. Then, a nice downhill descent towards afterglow. Men, it is traditionally believed, have a sharp uphill climb - turned on by just about anything, one dramatic climactic peak and then a sharp fall downhill towards a soft penis and sleep. We've all seen these charts and perhaps experienced a similar arousal pattern.
   
If your arousal and orgasm are indeed a terrain of peaks and valleys - and if you were indeed able to chart your actual arousal, what would that chart look like? Would it be the same time after time, or dramatically different each time?
  
We propose a two-tooled system of exploring your own unique terrain of arousal. First, make a map. Getting to know a familiar path of arousal and climax is an excellent idea. It is a powerful thing to know what turns you on, what kind of touch stimulates you, how to reach climax most reliably, and what kind of afterglow you like best. Once you have it, you can show your map to your lover and give them the confidence to arouse you and satisfy you.
   
Arousal is a journey, an adventure - not a trip to the grocery store. Once you know your "sure thing" orgasm and have your map in your pocket, go off trail. Explore. But bring a GPS! With a GPS, you always know where you are and how to get where you want to go. This allows highway and byway exploring and spontaneous adventure.

For sex, your GPS is your awareness and attention. By choosing to pay attention to your arousal, mapping it into new terrain, you can play with new sensations and still know that you can find your way back to arousal and orgasm. You can begin learning new sexual techniques and skills, without the risk of giving up what already works for you.  If your lover tries something totally new - like scratching your inner thighs, giving you a foot massage, or (gasp!) suggesting something like prostate massage - you can try something new and simply pay attention. Do you like it? Does it take you closer or further away from climax? Or into another realm all together? Harder or lighter? What if they lightly stroked your thigh instead? What gets you off? What do you NEVER need to try again? Exploring is only fun when you are confident about how to get back home - to your trusted pleasures - when you need to.

As you approach orgasm, you can become aware of your own peaks and valleys - are you about to orgasm, what if you back away a bit, breathe deeply, and then begin building sensation again? With awareness and attention, you can explore the infinite variety of arousal and sensation available to you - and never get bored of traveling the same path to orgasm again and again. That map is always there for you should you want a clear and direct route - but for those days you want to travel and see the sites, simply pay attention and begin pioneering the unmapped terrains of your own sexuality.

As human beings, touch is an essential biological need. Babies will die if they are not touched - this has been well documented in cases of neglect, specifically in orphanages. As adults, studies have shown that going for long periods of time without human contact can lead to anxiety disorders, depression, heart disease and other health problems.

While it never gets that extreme for most people - many of us do suffer from touch starvation. In this culture in particular, we don't touch one another very often. Handshakes are about all we get from anyone other than close friends and lovers. Many friends hardly hug one another, let alone cuddle up on the couch together.

We believe that for those of us who have a lover, it is great to deliberately choose to shower one another with affectionate touch. Massage gives you a toolbox of ways of touching one another pleasurably - so the smallest of moments, like standing in line at a grocery store, can be filled with a moment of quality touch - a hand resting on the small of your back, for example. Touch is a language - one that you can use to communicate with your loved ones. Learn with our massage video guides so you can touch your lover's entire body with skill and confidence.

With the latest addition to our Full Body Massage for Lovers series, we cover perhaps the most popular form of massage: neck, shoulder and back massage.

Most people love a good back rub, but few people know how to offer one. We guide you, stroke by stroke, in sharing the pleasures of back massage at home. We share the tips from the pros that allow you to get deep, satisfying pressure without wearing out your hands. You'll learn how to massage the shoulders to soothe out the tension many of us carry in our neck and shoulder muscles. From broad strokes that cover the entire back to focused pressure for areas of tension, we make it easy to give your lover fabulous, pleasurable and relaxing touch at home.

Our video guides now cover every inch of your lover's body - from head to toe. Warm up and enjoy full body touch with our massage videos. Then heat it up with the skills you learn in our erotic touch technique series!

Announcing the newest video guide in our Full Body Massage for Lovers series! The Pleasure Mechanics Guide to Leg and Foot Massage shares the secrets of the pros for giving pleasurable, relaxing massage at home. Foot massage is many people's absolute favorite way to relax after a hard day, but few people know how to give a satisfying foot massage. We show you how to create deep, penetrating pressure that will create full body relaxation and pleasure. And we don't stop at the ankles - this guide covers the entire leg and foot, from hip to toe! Learn soothing calf massage, effective techniques for the large muscles of the thighs, and how to bring it all together with long flowing strokes that cover the entire leg.

If you or your lover already love foot massage, this video guide will take your skills to a whole new level. If you haven't shared this kind of massage with your lover, try it out and see how much pleasure you can share in just a few minutes with quality leg and foot massage.

We get a lot of great questions from men and women around the world about how to improve their sexual experience. One of the most common questions from men is about how they can learn to control their ejaculations and stay hard longer during sexual experiences.

We have worked with hundreds of men on this issue, and have developed proven strategies for delaying ejaculation, last longer in bed, and experiencing more pleasure. These strategies are the key to experiencing male multiple orgasms, and men are always shocked to discover just how much arousal they are capable of experiencing.

All men deserve the chance to optimize their sexual experience and become the lover they want to be. That is why we have gathered all of our information, techniques and strategies for mastering ejaculation control into our first Pleasure Mechanics Handbook. It is now available to download as a pdf or for your Kindle or Kindle enabled device from Amazon.com.