Pleasure Mechanics

Oh YouTube, how fickle you are! We thought we had a good thing going together. Our videos have been with you for over a year now, and after 2 million views, 1300 subscribers and several thousand comments, we were so comfortable and intimate with one another.

Then it ended suddenly - yesterday we noticed the viewer comments stopped coming, and after visiting our channel we saw with shock and sadness that you have removed all of our videos, citing "a violation of YouTube's policy on nudity or sexual content." After a year and two million views, we are suddenly too much for you? This must be a mistake, a mix-up, an error on the part of one of your less-seasoned employees. You do state after all, that no amount of flagging will get a video removed once it has been determined to be within your Community Guidelines. Which, with no nudity, no explicit content and a clear educational purpose, our videos were well within.

So we just want to take this moment to get clear with you. We know the videos are a little sexy - after all, their goal is to teach sensual touch skills and help people become more sexually satisfied. We know they are racy - that is why we age restricted them to be viewed only by your over 18 crowd. But nudity? Explicit sexual content? That is where we are having this big misunderstanding! Allow us the courtesy of explaining ourselves. After two million views together, we are close enough to have this conversation, right?

Our sensual touch techniques are demonstrated on lifelike replicas. Silicone. Toys. Dolls. Mannequins. Whatever you want to call them, they are inanimate objects. While they look quite real, and allow us to show hot, pleasurable touch techniques, they are not real bodies. Nudity? The silicone doesn't blush so neither should you. We even point this out in each video with a title screen before the action starts, alerting people that what they are about to see is not nudity nor pornography. Just great touch skills. We here at PleasureMechanics.com have the goal of teaching lovers to touch one another with more skill and confidence. There is no nudity on our site, no X rated material. Just down-to-earth educational videos that have reached men and women from over 50 countries around the world. Men and women in Malaysia, Singapore, South Africa and Paraguay are all enjoying higher quality touch thanks to these videos. We think they are pretty wholesome, compared to a lot of what is out there and even compared to other videos on YouTube, they are tame, honest, and frankly, tasteful.

We understand that our world is filled with sexual shame, guilt and fear. That is why we do what we do! The human genitals are beautiful, powerful, intimate parts of the human body and yet we react to them as if they are violent, lewd and downright scary. That is why, as sex educators, we meet adult women every day who don't know where their clitoris is, have never had an orgasm and feel broken. Relationships and families break down because of the sexual misinformation and shame we all share in this culture.

YouTube, you have an opportunity here. Take a stand against sexual shame and silencing and reinstate these videos to their proper place on your site, complete with the over 2 million views that reflect happy members of your over 18 community that benefited from our year of happy cohabitation. Are inanimate objects too explicit? Do they really count as nudity?

We know we are biased so we are asking everyone to vote on it. We've posted the uncensored videos and a quick poll over at www.PleasureMechanics.com/censored.html so we can find out - After 2 million views, are replicas too hot for YouTube?

Thanks for listening YouTube. We really hope we can be back together again soon, together helping the men and women of this world discover how to touch one another with more skill and confidence, so we can all enjoy a more sexually satisfied and fulfilled life together.

Much Love,

Christine Fawley and Charlotte Goodman-Smith
PleasureMechanics.com

We are in full swing with the Shameless 2011 book tour! First New York City, then San Francisco and now Los Angeles - already it has been a whirlwind ride and we are just getting started!

The Pleasure Mechanics are on the road with Pamela Madsen, author of "Shameless: How I Ditched the Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure...and Somehow Got Home in Time To Cook Dinner"

Pamela speaks about how she transformed her relationship to pleasure, saving her marriage and reinventing herself midlife. She is a pioneer in her courage to come out and talk to the world about the messy, scary but ultimately rewarding process of discovering who she was as a sexual being.

The packed houses at all of our events so far are letting us know that she is hitting a nerve in our sexual culture - so many women want to go on their own journey to sexual freedom and expression. We'll be teaming up with Pamela to guide women (and men!) as they begin digging in and discovering "their own inner wildness!" We have events coming up in Portland, Seattle, Austin, Miami, Chicago and dozens more cities. Would love to see you there!

Learn more about her journey and find out about upcoming events at www.BeingShameless.com

Our commitment is to sharing the skills and strategies of how to enjoy more pleasure and become a better lover. For the past two years, we have been spreading our erotic touch technique videos all around the world. These videos have reached men, women and couples in over 50 countries and all across the United States. The feedback we have received from our global audience is tremendous, and we are honored to be able to share our techniques with folks in the privacy of their own homes.

We are thrilled to announce that in 2011 we will be teaming up with Pamela Madsen, author of the new sex memoir "Shameless; How I Ditched the Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner"

The adventure begins with a book launch party in New York City on January 18th, then continues for the next two months with a 22 city book tour. We will be traveling to cities all over the country, from Portland and Seattle to Austin, Miami and Chicago.

Along the way, Pamela will be offering many free events, sharing passages from her book that will be sure to inspire others to embrace pleasure as a transformational tool. We will also be offering evening events and half-day seminars that will gather women for in depth explorations of what it means to live shamelessly and be fueled by pleasure.

We are so looking forward to this opportunity to share our techniques of pleasure with women all across the country, We will be sharing our journey on our blog, our Facebook page, and through YouTube videos. So tune in, come on out to an event near you, and of course, be amongst the first to read the book and join the growing community of women and men who are choosing to embrace pleasure - Shamelessly!

"Withholding pleasurable touch is a kind of punishment. Our bodies have developed to seek out that which sustains us (pleasure) and avoid that which threatens us (pain). We are a population of touch starved individuals, trying not to look desperate and trying to achieve some quality of life in spite of ourselves. Touch needs are often confused with sex drive - and many people find that when they are receiving loving touch their desperate need for sex is minimized and they can make healthier sexual choices."

I came across this piece of writing today - from my late great massage teacher Chester Mainard. Chester taught me so much about the importance of massage as a vehicle for communicating love. All of the work we do is designed to teach men and women around the world how to touch with more skill and confidence - so touch becomes a second language for communicating love and affection. We hope our videos inspire you to share more touch with those you love, and that your quality of life increases dramatically!
 

Learning massage together will be a crash course in both verbal and non-verbal communication. Most relationship experts say that communication is the lifeblood of a healthy relationship. Massage is a beautiful way to use both language and body to communicate what you are feeling, what you need, and where your boundaries are.

 In massage, there is a sense of "just right" - just the right amount of pressure, just the right speed, just the right spots. This is one of massage's greatest pleasures - when your lover touches you in a way that feels "just right" and you can totally relax and savor the touch.



"Just Right" - will change over time, so it is up to both you and your partner to find this place of “just right” through active communication. 

In the first stages of learning massage, you will learn to verbally communicate what works and what doesn't - being able to say "That feels great, but it would feel even better with a little more pressure" will make the difference between a good massage and a great massage.

Likewise, when you are giving massage, it is essential to begin asking questions like "Will you tell me when this feels just right?" or "Would you like a little more massage on your back before I move on?" Asking these practical questions begins the conversation about physical desires. The translation to the bedroom can be seamless as you develop the skills to ask for exactly the kind of touch you want.



We communicate not just with our words, but with our bodies, sounds, touch, gestures. How close you sit on the couch together is a strong communication of your intimacy. Sharing massage and touch is like learning a new language together - it doubles your ability to speak to one another. A simple loving touch can communicate caring, support and compassion. Bringing more attention to your hands and bodies will make clear the areas that you successfully communicate your love and other areas where you may need to evaluate what you are saying to one another with your physical actions. 



Finding words during a massage or sex is easier for some people than others. Explore communicating your pleasure and wishes with your body movements, gestures and sounds. If your partner is doing something you love, tell them by moaning or sighing. Move your body into their touch. Use your hands and guide them in exactly the kind of touch you want - put your hands over theirs and show them what would feel good. Then, take your hands away and allow them to continue. Use hand gestures and agree ahead of time on what they mean - if you want more pressure, wave them forward. If you want to slow down, use a flat palm. This is a lot like helping someone parallel park - waving frantically means "Come on, you've got lots of space!" but a firm show of the palm means "Stop!" You can develop a whole language with your hands that can give one another very specific information without using a single word. 



Whenever possible, offer positive feedback. Tell your partner what is feeling good and what they are doing well. "That feels good, could you do it a little softer?" This builds confidence and makes it easier to hear requests for change. If the only time you say anything is negative or demanding, your lover may lose patience. Thanking them and giving them positive feedback as much as you can, with your words, sounds, movements and gestures, will enhance your experience and make it easier for you both to hear the more challenging feedback. Also pay attention to how you phrase these requests - "I hate it when you tickle me like that!" feels really different to hear than "I really enjoy deeper pressure" or "Can you use a firmer stroke, my thighs are really sensitive right there." 

This communication doesn't always have to happen during massage - sometimes these conversations are more useful after the experience is complete. 

After every massage, you can ask "What were your favorite parts? What could have made it even better?" In the hours or days after a massage, take the time to thank one another and pay attention to how you are feeling. If something worked or felt particularly good, mention it. "I loved it when you were using such deep pressure on my back, it was really relaxing" Telling your lover what worked highly increases the chances of receiving that same touch in the future - it adds that move to the repertoire of pleasure that you can draw from again and again.

What is the one thing we could all use a little more of in the bedroom? The magic ingredient to make any intimate relationship stronger - and hotter?

Massage!

As you know, we are committed to sharing the skills of erotic touch so you can enjoy more pleasure and become a better lover. We draw on our years of massage training and experience combined with our knowledge as sex educators to bring you effective strategies for maximum pleasure.

We are thrilled to announce the release of the newest addition to our video series. Over the coming months, we'll be bringing you guides to the skills of full body massage, so you can learn to touch your lover's entire body from head to toe. Massage is simply the best kind of foreplay - in just a few minutes you can soothe away life's daily stress and create a full-body wave of pleasure. Massage warms up the body, so it is easier to get hot when you are ready!

The Pleasure Mechanics Guide to Butt Massage teaches you the skills of massaging the butt muscles, one of the biggest and most central muscle groups of the entire body. If you want to learn how to relax and pleasure your lover's body, learning butt massage is the quickest way to the best results.

Butt massage techniques are an excellent compliment to the skills you can learn in our Sexual Technique Video Series.  Our highest commitment is your pleasure and sexual fulfillment. Join us to learn proven strategies for immediate results!

As we read through the newly-released sexual survey by Indiana University's Center for Sexual Health Promotion, we are finding many statistics that make us even more committed to sharing our techniques of sexual pleasure. It is clear from the data that while Americans are enjoying a more varied sex life than we were just 20 years ago, there is a lot of room for improvement when it comes to sexual pleasure and fulfillment.

Here is one data set that we have a lot to say about: "in all age cohorts, the largest proportion of men and women reported having engaged solely in PVI [Penis-Vaginal Intercourse] (32.9% men, 39.0% women). Contrast that with only about 6% of participants reporting that they combined "partnered masturbation" (what we affectionately refer to as Handjobs and Fingering) with intercourse.  To add insult to injury, the study reports that "for women and men, the presence or absence of partnered masturbation was not associated with orgasm."

We are dismayed that nearly 40% of women reported intercourse alone with no warm-up or foreplay activities. Solo masturbation, oral sex or stimulation with fingers is an essential part of lovemaking. Intercourse without warm-up can lead to pain during intercourse, lack of lubrication, lack of arousal and inability for the woman to experience an orgasm during intercourse. Most women want and crave more foreplay - so why are all of these couples having intercourse alone with no other arousing activities?

We know that, with skill and confidence, stimulation with hands is one of the most reliable ways to bring a woman to orgasm. With your hands, you can stimulate every part of a woman's sexual anatomy, fine-tune your stimulation to match her arousal, create a wide range of sensations and bring women to powerful and multiple orgasms. The hands are the most dexterous and sensitive tools we have to stimulate our lover. Skipping ahead to intercourse without warming up with pleasurable touch is a wasted opportunity - women are much more likely to have orgasms during intercourse if they have already climaxed, or brought very close to climax, before being penetrated. Oral sex is great - but it is even better when it is combined with touch and penetration with skilled fingers.

So why does this massive study of 5,865 men and women not reflect the pleasurable potential of the hands? Why are men and women skipping stimulation with their hands all together? How is it that being touched by your lover is not a predictor of orgasm during a sexual encounter? Perhaps it is because our culture has lost the sexual skills of erotic touch. We do not learn how to use our hands to touch our lover, how to bring our lover to multiple orgasms with our hands and fingers. Unless you dedicate thousands of dollars and months of your life to go to massage school, there are few options to learn how to touch with skill. Our video guides are dedicated to sharing what we learned in professional massage training and our somatic sexology certification with men and women all around the world. We believe hands can be powerful tools of pleasure, opening up new realms of arousal and orgasm, if we learn how to use them. We hope that as our erotic techniques spread across the country, more men and women will include erotic touch as part of foreplay and lovemaking - and perhaps the next national survey will have new data to report on the orgasmic potential of Americans.

Indiana University's Center for Sexual Health Promotion just released a report on their survey of 5,865 men and women. This study will finally update the statistics about sexual behavior, which hasn't had a major update in almost 20 years. We'll be bringing you more juicy tidbits from the 138 page report in the days to come. For now, this inspirational quote from Dr. Jocelyn Elders!

"We have a sexually dysfunctional society because of our limited views of sexuality and our lack of knowledge and understanding concerning the complexities and joys of humanity. We must revolutionize our conversation from sex only as prevention of pregnancy and disease to a discussion of pleasure."

Our mission is to provide resources that guide men and women in developing the skills to enjoy more pleasure and become a better lover. We will be reading the report with an eye for information that can help us better serve individuals and couples all around the world. We are grateful to the researchers at Indiana University for making this data available - may it help make the world a more pleasurable and peaceful place!