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Breathing for Sexual Enhancement

Breath is an essential sexual skill. We breath without thinking much about it our entire lives- and yet most of us breath only enough to survive. Deliberate deep breathing can help the body relax, flood the bloodstream with fresh oxygen, create more sensation in the body and fuel your erotic fire.

It is no surprise that breathing is a central skill not only in all sexual traditions around the world, but also in most devotional religious traditions, and for professional singers and athletes. Learning to breath more fully allows us to live more fully, and experience new kinds of relaxation and sensation in the body.

Breathing is also a way to develop your ability to pay attention and be present in each moment. When someone learns to meditate, often the breath is the first tool of mindfulness. When you are paying attention to your breath, you are paying attention to what is happening in that very moment in your body, and you can begin cultivating the ability to clear the mind clutter and notice physical sensations more fully.

The Benefits of Mindful Breathing

Becoming aware of your breath is a powerful way to transform your erotic experience. Conscious breathing allows you to heighten pleasure, soothe tension and explore new heights.
We all know fire can not burn without oxygen, and the more oxygen a fire receives, the hotter it burns. The same is true with our bodies during arousal. Oxygenating the bloodstream enables all cells to operate more healthfully and fully - the more you breathe the more you feel. Conscious breathing floods your bloodstream with oxygen, which nourishes every cell of your body and fuels your erotic fire.

Happily, breathing is not only the most important sexual skill to develop, it is one of the simplest to practice. You can pay attention to your breath anywhere and at anytime and begin noticing the effects of breathing more fully, deeply and rhythmically.There is much to read and learn about conscious breathing and its effects- but the best way to learn is to simply practice bringing more awareness to your breath while receiving erotic touch. Notice what you are feeling and allow the experience to motivate further practice.

Exploring The Effects of Breath During Arousal

Here are breathing practices for both individuals and couples. The “Inquiry” is one of my favorite models of body-based learning. I first encountered the practice of inquiries in yoga, when my teacher suggested a particular posture or breath pattern and would ask us to “Simply Notice” what we were feeling. Erotic Inquiries allow us to explore new skills with the spirit of curiosity and wonder, and take a lot of pressure off the sometimes daunting journey of sex education. An “embodied inquiry” can be any length of time; a few minutes during a lovemaking session or a few hours of dedicated practice and exploration of a particular skill, technique or intention. Simply ask yourself and/or your partner “I wonder what would happen if. . . “ and then pay attention to what you experience.

Inquiry 1: Easy Breathing

One easy way to approach the breath is to become aware of the economy of your breath. Go for the most breath with the least effort. A relaxed, deep breath allows the body to receive the most nourishment from the inhale, a full release with each exhale, and minimal effort to complete each breath cycle. 

Begin by simply paying attention to your breath. Sit in a comfortable chair or lie down, and pay attention to the in and out flow of breath. Notice how deeply you are breathing. How far do your lungs expand? Does your chest rise? Belly move out? Can you feel the breath in the sides of your body, or in your back? How fully does your body naturally breath? Simply notice your normal breathing pattern for a few moments. You might feel more relaxed simply by noticing your breath, or might find that your breathing deepens after just a few exhales.

Try this practice any time you notice you are tense or stressed. Relax, pay attention to your breath, inhale fully and exhale completely. Notice the effects. Once you get used to paying attention to your breath in your day to day life, begin bringing this practice into your arousal - either during masturbation or sex with a partner. Start by simply paying attention to your breath and see what happens.


Inquiry 2 : Relaxed Full Breathing

Get comfortable and breathe as fully and deeply as is comfortable for you. Allow your belly to expand. It can help to place one hand on your chest and the other hand on the belly, so you can feel the rise and fall of the breath as it moves through your body. Allow the inhale and exhale to be about the same duration, and focus on inhaling smoothly and easily, then exhaling completely. Notice if there are any places the breath feels stuck or blocked, or if any sensations arise in your body. Just keep breathing, focusing on keeping the breath full and relaxed, inhaling deeply and exhaling completely.

Now, go for more air with less effort. Allow your throat to open and drink in the air. Then just let it go. The exhale is where we tend to waste the most effort and create excess tension. You may notice that you either push the air out with force or hold it back as you exhale slowly. On the exhale, try and let it go, simply release the breath.


Do not pause after you inhale or exhale - allow the breath to come in and out of your body with no effort. Focus on big full inhales followed by complete exhales. This sounds simple - but most people will stop breathing for extended pauses, which limits the amount of oxygen you are bringing in to your lungs. A few minutes of inhaling and exhaling without pause will create a dramatic change in your body.

Prolonged, full body arousal comes from being able to relax during arousal, circulate breath and erotic energy throughout the body.

Practice this full, circular, relaxing breath while aroused and notice the effects.  Pay attention to full body sensations. Do you feel more sensations? Do you feel pleasure in new parts of your body? Is your pleasure intensified?

Inquiry 3: Charging Breath


Get comfortable and set a timer for 1 minute. Begin breathing fully yet quickly- your goal is to get as much oxygen with as little effort as possible. Drink in the air and exhale easily. Do not pause at the top of the inhale or the bottom of the exhale - allow your breath to be circular and uninterrupted. Do not hyperventilate- exhale completely and inhale without struggling. Breath fully and quickly for just two minutes. When the timer goes off, allow your breath to return to a more relaxed pace and notice how you feel. Do you feel more energy? Has your heart rate changed? Do you feel a tingling or buzzing sensation anywhere? After several 1 minute long practices, try increasing the duration by one minute each time. Notice how longer periods of this charging breath feels.

Intense climactic peaks come from concentrating erotic energy and building up before releasing completely. Fast charging breath. The goal is to fully oxygenate system without hyperventilating. If you ever feel dizzy or light headed while practicing the charging breath, return to a relaxed, slow breathing pattern until you feel more normal.