A listener wanted to know how to fist his wife.
We answer with a full step-by-step guide on vaginal fisting, from warm-up to post-orgasmic exit.
Learn how to fist with grace and skill so you can explore this intense sex act without any pain or injury. A lot of women love the intense sensations of fisting and the feeling of being “filled up.”
Learn how to fist so you can give her tons of pleasure and enjoy the wild ride of getting your whole hand inside your lover!
The first step to fisting is mastering the art of using your hands to bring her to states of high arousal.
Discover everything you need to know in our Foreplay Mastery Course
How To Fist: A Primer
Want to know how to fist a woman? You are not alone! As sex educators we get asked this question a lot, from both men and women who want to experience the intensity of fisting. Fisting is the erotic act of penetrating the vagina (or anus, but that is the subject of another article entirely!) with the entire hand. Fisting is a form of large penetration that can feel highly arousing to many women. Inside the vagina, there aren’t a whole lot of nerve endings that detect subtle sensations, but there are a lot of pressure receptors. Many women love the sensation of being “filled up” and that deep internal pressure can be very stimulating.
Fisting is sometimes thought of as an extreme and brutal sex act – but it doesn’t have to be! Fisting can actually be very serene and peaceful or can of course be more rough. Like any sex act, the experience of fisting depends way more on the attitude and intentions you bring rather than the act itself. You can learn how to fist with grace and skill so it is an intensely pleasurable act that she loves.
Fisting is a bad name for this sex act, as many people have the mental image of creating a rigid fist and shoving it inside. Forget that image and instead think about the slow introduction of one finger at a time, gradually opening up the vagina and only introducing more fingers when she is ready. Learning how to fist will teach you how to pay attention to her arousal, penetrating her gently and at the pace that is right for her body.
One of the most essential skills to develop in learning how to fist is the art of folding your hand into a penetration-friendly shape. One or two fingers usually fit inside nicely, but when you go bigger than that you need to learn how to wedge your hand. Start by tucking your ring and index finger on top of your middle finger – see how that creates a nice pyramid shape? Then fold in your pinky and thumb to create the most compact shape you can. You may have to stretch and massage your hand to increase flexibility so you can tuck your hand in more tightly!
When first learning how to fist, use lots of lube and just take it one finger at a time. Fisting requires high levels of arousal, so warm her up with oral sex, clitoral stimulation and external anal play if she likes it. Then put her in charge of clitoral stimulation so you can focus on penetrating her. Don’t have a goal, just let her body invite you in at it’s own pace. The most intense part is getting past the knuckles at the base of the fingers. Wait for the vagina to expand and invite you in. Once inside, remember that really tiny movements will create a huge amount of sensation. Wiggle your hand gently, move in small circular movements and graze your knuckles against the cervix. Notice what she responds to and follow her lead about what kind of movements she likes best.
For more details on technique and how to fist like a pro, listen to the podcast where we teach you how to fist in detail, start to finish. Just hit the “play” button at the top of this page!
You’ll also hear about some of our personal experiences of fisting, including the hilarious incident of getting stuck in a vagina! Learning how to fist can be a fun, hot and sexy exploration. Take it slowly as you explore this intense sex act, and remember, penetration never has to hurt, no matter if it is one finger or a whole fist!