There is one thing that can make any kind of sex more exciting, pleasurable and orgasmic: movement. Yet for many of us, moving during sex is scary and intimidating. Many people minimize movement, hold very still or have a few routine moves that they use every time. Full body movement, and especially moving the pelvis, creates way more pleasure and creates the opportunity for full body orgasm.
Moving during sex has many benefits:
- moving generates more friction for your genitals and allows you to find the right spots for maximum stimulation
- moving the body relaxes out tension that can be blocking pleasurable stimulation
- activating the spine allows nervous signals to travel to the brain, where they trigger arousal
- moving can be a form of erotic communication, helping your partner see what is most pleasurable so they can give you more of it!
Here’s how to get moving during all kinds of sex:
First, confront your emotional barriers that keep you from moving. Some people are worried about how their body will look if they move too much. Others don’t want to seem like they are enjoying sex too much, or fear they aren’t doing it right. Fear of judgement and shame keep us still and small in bed. Break through these mental barriers and you’ll free yourself to enjoy sex more!
One of the best ways to activate more movement in your body is to dance! Dance alone in your living room, with no one watching. With your favorite song playing, practice the three core components of erotic movement:
- Hip Circles: Move your pelvis in a circular motion. Play with going slow, feeling each part of the circle. Then go faster, really shaking it up!
- Hip Thrusts: Tilt your pelvis forward and back. Again, start slow to get a feel for the movement. Then speed it up. Try adding breath: inhale as you pull your pelvis back and exhale as you thrust forward!
- Spinal Undulations: This is the most sophisticated erotic movement but also the most important for activating full body pleasure. Undulations are wave like motions that travel the entire length of your spine. Start with a pelvic thrust and then let the movement travel up your spine, ending only when your head tilts back at the end of the wave.
Once you get comfortable with these three erotic movements, try them while masturbating. As you stimulate yourself, try circles, thrusts and undulations. Notice what you feel. When does the movement feel easy and fluid? When does it feel tense or awkward? Can you feel your pleasure spike during any of the movements? Try holding your hand or toy still and moving into it to stimulate yourself. Notice how you feel!
Next, integrate more movement into partnered sex. Tell your partner ahead of time that you are exploring moving more and agree to have fun with it together. If you are concerned about how you will look while moving, ask your partner to wear a blindfold so you can move without inhibitions!
Finding it hard to get started? Try taking a dance, yoga or martial arts class (with or without a partner!) A group movement class will help you get used to moving more in your body and remind you how good moving can feel!
Hip Opening Stretches
Advanced Movements To Inspire You:
(just try following along and have fun with it!)