We receive a lot of emails asking for instruction in specific sex practices, often with exotic names. Often people have heard of an exotic sex practice in a movie, or while reading a novel, and want to know how to do it in their own sex lives.
It is easy to be dazzled by exotic sounding techniques with hard to pronounce names. Surely they hold some mysterious key for great sex, right?
Here are some exotic sex techniques and traditions from around the world:
The Kama Sutra is an ancient Hindu text from India, written somewhere around 3rd century. It outlines a wide variety of practices for the expression of love and desire, including rather explicit instructions on sex techniques. It also outlines 64 other arts to be studied along with sex, including sewing, gardening and swordplay.
The most widely known English translation of the Kama Sutra was privately printed in 1883. The translation was brought to England by Sir Richard Francis Burton, an explorer and ethnographer.
The Kama Sutra is amongst the most popular erotic texts still to this day, and while most people love to marvel at the intricate sex positions detailed in the book, the more challenging instructions around seduction, devotion and cultivation of desire tend to be overlooked.
Kunyaza is a sexual practice from Rwanda, meant to improve the odds of female orgasm during intercourse. Kunyaza involves rubbing and tapping the penis over the clitoris and vulva before penetration to ignite female desire and prepare her body for intercourse. Then, shallow and deep thrusts are alternated with circular movements at the entrance to the vagina in order to stimulate the g-spot area and encourage female ejaculation.
Kunyaza goes together with the female practice of gukana. Gukana is a tradition of labia elongation, achieved by daily stretching of the inner labia, with the goal of creating more contact and friction between the labia and the penis.
Pompoir (also called “playing the flute” or “the Singapore grip” ) is a sexual technique in which the woman clenches her pelvic muscles to stimulate the man’s penis as he holds still inside her after penetration. Highly skilled women can articulate the pelvic muscles to create very focused rippling effects up and down the penis.
Kabazzah is similar to pompoir, but also engaging abdominal muscles to create a squeezing effect. The word is from Arabic “to hold” and the practice shows up in many Neo Tantra teachings.
Karezza was developed by Alice Bunker Stockham (1833-1912) who was the 5th female doctor in the United States. She developed this method for happier marriages, natural birth control, female pleasure. The method focuses on loving, full body embrace rather than traditional intercourse. The word Karezza is from the Italian word for “caress.” The technique focuses on full body pleasure rather than orgasm for either partner.
Alice Bunker Stockham gave free books to divorced women and prostitutes to sell as a path to financial independence, and each book included a certificate for a free gynecological exam!
Her work was so controversial there was a moratorium on her book for 40 years after death by order of the pope.
A Word On Exotic Sex Techniques:
Throughout history, anytime two cultures met there was an exchange, a cross-cultural pollination. Humans exchange foods, words, tools and weapons – but also sexual techniques. Whether it is colonialists reporting about the indigenous cultures they were invading, soldiers telling stories about prostitutes they visited while deployed or spiritual seekers wandering the earth for enlightenment, there is a long tradition of Westerners bringing back bits and pieces of foreign sex cultures. These imported sex techniques may seem exotic, but so much is lost in translation.
Sadly, the truth is, most of sexual history has been purposefully destroyed during religious wars. History has shown that when you are trying to colonize and dominate a culture one of the first things to control is sexuality. Indigenous sex practices and gender expressions are also demonized and shamed, so many have been erased or went into deep hiding.
As a result of this cultural destruction (burning books, destroying temples and more deadly practices) we just have shards of sexual histories, in most cases not enough to understand how they fit into their cultures at large.
As sex educators we are fascinated by global sex cultures, but we have to be honest about the limits of our understanding. It is wrong to try to pretend like we can understand what these practices mean within their native cultures.
We believe the most interesting thing to do is compare cross culturally and notice patterns. We all have same anatomy, so how have people stimulated one another around the world and throughout time? What do practices have in common with one another?
When we look at these practices, here are a few patterns that emerge:
- slowing down and focusing on warm up, especially for female pleasure
- stimulating the clitoris and introitus before alternating shallow and deep plunges
- using circular motions on the first few inches of the vagina to stimulate the g-spot
- after penetration, holding still inside. The female can explore using muscles to grip penis inside, or just hold still and focus on full body touch and kissing.
- exploration of sexuality as creative energy
As we look to sex cultures of the past for ideas and guidance, we must remember that we have the power to create a new sex culture to inspire us and offer future generations a map of what is possible. Rather than looking to other cultures for exotic sex practices, we can enjoy exploring our own bodies and discovering what brings the most pleasure, arousal and intimacy.
Do you have a favorite sex technique you want to share? Get in touch and share it, and we’ll post our favorites for the world to benefit from!