In this podcast, leading love researcher shares the difference between lust, love and attachment. She uncovers the nature of these three different circuits associated with love and challenges our assumptions about “happily ever after” relationships. Hit the “play” button above to reveal the truth about how humans are wired for lust, love and attachment. Check out Helen Fisher’s book Why We Love for more on the nature of love.
This podcast challenges our notions of what is normal and natural in love.
We have concrete scientific evidence here from a well respected researcher that your relationship isn’t broken if the mutual passion has waned. In fact there is some biological inevitability that this will happen over time. Additionally there is nothing wrong with you if you feel passion for a coworker even though you love your partner. It is scientifically confirmed that lust and romance are not the same. So is it really ok if you feel love for your partner and intense attraction for another?
What matters is what you choose to do about having any kind of feelings outside of your primary relationship. This is up to you and your ethics, values and ideals, but having the feelings is very natural and normal. To have feelings for someone other than whom you are technically devoted to does not mean there is anything wrong with your relationship, it is just how we humans are wired.
So many of us feel tortured by this reality of experiencing different levels of passion or excitement for different people at various points in our lives. What happens if we didn’t see these feelings as problematic but made peace with what is and then go on and decide on the choices you want to make. My hope is some of you will experience a bit more freedom within yourself so you can be more present with enjoying your erotic life instead of wishing for something else.
We have spoken in other podcasts about how to keep long term relationships exciting. We emphasize that you need to keep life interesting by doing new stimulating things together in and out of the bedroom. We will fully admit that we love reading the same advice we give regularly in this highly respected author’s book. We think we all need to keep hearing this hopeful, practical piece of advice until we are really putting it into action.
Our challenge to you this week if you are in a long term relationship where excitement has waned a bit (or if you wish to take preventative steps!) is to consider what kind of excitement and novelty will you introduce into your relationship to increase your excitement in life, and thus with each other.
Remember if you want to explore novelty in the bedroom check out our erotic mastery courses. These online, multimedia courses guide you in mastering new erotic skills to experience more orgasmic pleasure, skill and confidence.