At the time of recording it is Chris’s Birthday, so Charlotte thought she’d do an ode to Chris on her birthday.
As some of you may know from our tell all episode, episode 100. I first met Chris as my sex teacher. I walked into the building and was greeted by her, she was this loving, beautiful, powerful presence. I saw her and thought “I love you”. but didn’t quite know what to do with that. She was teaching an in person sexuality class that I was attending. She was younger than most people in the large group of people she was teaching and yet the way she held the space, taught with such competence and confidence, eloquence and intelligence was just breathtaking. And then I saw her touch. And I was done. She was demonstrating some kind of massage, butt massage I think it was and the precision of her touch was beautiful. She was paying such exquisite attention to the body, demonstrating such care, focus and skill that I knew I wanted to be under those hands. Later, when I first saw her receive touch, she moved her body and used her voice in ways that I had never thought of or had given myself permission to. She moved her hips in circles, growled, howled, got guttural and expressed her voice in a very loud, free, inspiring way. For the record we didn’t talk much during the class, she had excellent boundaries and many many months later I asked her out.
When I met her she was 90 pounds heavier than she is now. I saw her across the room naked and she was so confident, so at ease in her body and it was entirely inspiring. In our culture fat women are taught to be ashamed of their bodies and to see her feel not only so comfortable, but feel sexy in her skin was profoundly moving.
As some of you know she has a very intense history of childhood, teen and adult sexual assault and seeing her courage and persistence in how she has moved through the trauma in her body is incredibly inspiring. All of her perpetrators were men and I am amazed at her generosity of spirit that she has forgiven them all. She always reminds others that people who commit sexual abuse and assault have almost always been victims themselves, and how much they must have been hurting to hurt others. It is also beautiful to me that after all that, she continues to feel such a deep commitment to serve and encourage men to embody all of their power in their sexuality.
Her commitment to our Pleasure Mechanics community drives so much of her life. She inspires me daily in her desire to share, educate and encourage you to experience the most pleasure, power and freedom you and your lover can possibly feel in your body. We started this business three months into dating, and her primary motivation for taking our teachings online was to reach as many people as possible through the power of technology. She wakes up every day at 5 am by choice so ready to serve people she’s never met, and gets giddy with excitement when we get email from people whose lives we’ve touched.
There are a thousand other qualities I adore about Chris, we’ve done 6 road trips across the country, driven up and down each coast of the states so many times I’ve lost track and after over 9 years spending everyday together we haven’t yet run out of things to talk about. She is the kind of person that after camping out under the stars, we get in the car to go find breakfast, and before coffee she asks me “do you believe in democracy?”. Her inquisitive, sharp mind, her open hearted spirit is ever inspiring and interesting to me. And I adore seeing her parent our daughter. It is just the best.
I am honored to be her wife, co-parent and co-conspirator in creating a more safe, more pleasurable and more connected experience of sexuality in this world. To many more pleasurable years ahead for us all. Happy birthday darling.