Pleasure Mechanics

Personalized Sex Coaching

2024: At this time, we ARE accepting new coaching clients

Complete the inquiry form here to schedule free exploratory call if you are interested in private coaching.

PleasureMechanicsPortrait

Do you feel stuck in your sex life?

Are there roadblocks preventing you from enjoying erotic pleasure and intimacy?

Do you want someone you can talk to completely honestly and without fear of judgment?

We want everyone to have access to pleasure based sex education – that’s why we spend most of our professional time offering a weekly podcast and online courses that are affordable and accessible to all.

But we also love diving deep with individuals and couples to offer personalized, transformative sex coaching sessions. If you want to work directly with us and are ready to invest in making your sex life a priority, individual coaching can create profound sexual transformations in a very brief period of time. Our personal attention can help you unravel very complicated struggles and create a clear path forward towards your goal.

Read through this page – and if you feel like personalized sex coaching is a good fit for you, use the form on this page to be in touch and we’ll respond as soon as possible.

Common issues addressed by sex coaching include:

  • Pleasure & Orgasms

    Inability to have an orgasm, desire for stronger orgasms, exploring multiple orgasms, inability to have orgasm with partner

  • Desire & Arousal

    Loss of libido, mismatched libido, low arousal with partner, distraction or dissociation during arousal

  • Erections & Ejaculation

    Non-medical erectile dysfunction, inability to get erect with partner, inconsistent erections, maintaining erections longer, exploring female ejaculation, male ejaculation control

  • Sexual Trauma Resolution

    Reclaiming pleasure after trauma, Pleasure Anxiety, Inability to feel sensation in the genitals, Disassociation from the body during sex

  • Intimacy

    Feeling disconnected with partner, desire to reconnect after long periods without sex, miscommunication or lack of communication in bedroom, inability to share orgasm with partner, anxiety or stress about sex life with partner

YOU have a unique sexuality and what you are struggling with is probably a combination of many factors. We’ll work together to identify your intentions and desired outcomes for our work together.

Sex coaching works best if you commit to multiple sessions over a period of time. This gives you the opportunity to make lasting changes and meet your goals.

All sessions are held through online audio or video conference – so you can be anywhere in the world!

Sessions are supported through a personalized intake to help us dive deep quickly and a  “Next Steps” process, so you can feel confident moving forward after coaching. You’ll also gain lifetime access to our online multimedia courses – and we will personally guide you to the best resources for whatever you are exploring.

Get started by completing this form. 

Frequently Asked Questions About Sex Coaching

Is sex coaching an alternative to sex therapy?

Sex Coaching is NOT Sex Therapy.  Coaching focuses on the tools, techniques and strategies that will allow you to have the kind of sex life you desire. Therapy is more issue-focused, talking through the concerns and problems that may be affecting your sexual wellbeing. Therapy is more driven by diagnosis and problem-based solutions. Coaching is about optimizing, developing skills and working with your innate abilities.

Athletic coaches work with individual athletes and teams to help them become the best athletes they can be. Coaches provide motivation and support, but also lay out practice sessions, drills and work-outs to allow the athlete to get stronger, faster, better at their sport. Great coaches support great athletes – no Olympic athlete wins the gold without a trusted coach.

We offer YOU our personalized attention so YOU can create the erotic life you want, one experience at a time. We’ll be there to guide the way, set the drills, unpack your challenges and celebrate your wins.

Can I do sex coaching with my partner?

We can work with you either as an individual or as a couple. We believe every couple is a team, and just like great athletic teams have coaches, your relationships can benefit from our outside perspective and expertise. We can help you become more fulfilled, happier and satisfied with your sex life, or address the struggles that are keeping you apart.

What exactly does this involve?

All of our sessions take place through online video conferencing, with additional communication through email.

We provide confidential support, specific information, expert insight and compassionate motivation to guide you along your path to more pleasure. We also give you specific physical practices (“homework” but a lot more fun!) to help you develop the physical skills that will assist you in your goals.

Sex, just like a sport, is a developed physical skill – both feeling more pleasure and being a better lover require specific skill sets. Many people are frustrated with their sex life, and all they need is to develop one or more skills that will transform the way they experience sex and intimacy.

But sex is also a lot more than a physical act – it is perhaps the most complex social identity we humans have. Your sexuality exists within a BioPsychoSocial framework:

  • Bio – your unique human body and all of it’s current abilities and experiences
  • Psycho – your mental and emotional landscape, and the impact of every human relationship you’ve ever had
  • Social – your specific social context and culture (this piece impacts us FAR more than most realize)

Recognizing the BioPsychoSocial framework can help us unravel the root causes of what you are experiencing and help develop compassion and context for what might feel like a very personal and individual issue.

How long does sex coaching last?

We offer sex coaching in series of three, five or ten sessions. Each session lasts about an hour. We recommend a minimum of one week in between each session. Committing to a series of sessions allows you to make significant changes and reach your erotic goals.

If you believe you can benefit from sex coaching, please contact us using the form on this page. This information is sent securely to our private email and will always be confidential. We will contact you with 1-3 business days to explore together if sex coaching is a good fit for you at this moment in your sex life.

What does sex coaching cost?

Coaching offers you our personalized, devoted, 1-on-1 attention. The minimum investment in a coaching package is $2000 for three 75 minute sessions. Please complete the coaching contact form here only if you are interested in coaching and able to invest at this moment without causing yourself financial strain. 

Do Chris and Charlotte work as a team?

We are a team in all we do in life! During your intake process, we will determine together who will be your primary coach based on our individual areas of expertise and availability. To maintain highly personalized attention, we only work with a handful of coaching students at any one time.

One of us will be your primary coach for all video sessions and email contact. But as long as it is ok with you, we may talk about your session together so you can benefit from both Chris and Charlotte’s knowledge and wisdom.

My sexual struggles feel complex – How do we decide what to focus on during coaching?

Before your first session you will complete an intake survey that maps out what is going on in your sex life and what you want to explore together.

In our first session, we will talk more about what you would like to work on, explore the details of where you are now and your goals for our work together. Together we will develop a game plan, including one or more physical practices for you to explore on your own time. We will then email you follow-up information and resources.

In each session, we will explore what happened as you tried out the physical practices since the last session. You can share with us exactly what happened, ask questions or address the outcome of the practices. We will then develop a new game plan that builds on your success from the first session.

In between coaching sessions you can email us at anytime with questions, progress reports or success stories! The more you communicate with us the more insight we’ll gain and the better advice and guidance we can offer.

Three to ten sessions is often enough to give you the skills and strategies to continue to explore on your own. If you wish, additional sessions can be booked to continue your progress or explore another goal.

What are the Pleasure Mechanics online courses?

All sex coaching packages include a personalized selection of our online, multimedia Erotic Mastery Courses. Our online courses offer effective, efficient strategies for more sexual pleasure and erotic intimacy. From Full Body Massage to Erotic Spanking, from Mindful Sex to Kink, our courses cover a wide range of sexual skills. We’ll help you pick out which courses would be best for your specific sexual goals. Then you’ll have lifetime access to interactive resources, audio and video guides to assist you in mastering new sexual skills.

Note: Our courses can always be purchased individually – if you aren’t ready for a full coaching package, but are ready to start exploring a new sexual adventure, our online courses are for you. We respond to your questions in the comments section of the courses, and you can benefit from our dialogues with the rest of the community. Think of it like an online group workshop! Explore the Pleasure Mechanics Online Courses here.

Private Coaching

The idea of a sex coach often calls up jokes of clipboards, whistles and shouting from the sidelines. Just imagine having a world class coach standing by your bed as you make love, rooting you on and run with the image.

While I believe we sex coaches do have a lot in common with athletic trainers, there are usually no whistles involved. A typical sex coaching session involves providing solid information, motivating guidance and answering questions about whatever sexual goal the coach and “sexual athlete” are working on together. Then, we provide experiential practices to build the skills and confidence needed to reach that goal.

Want to run a faster mile? A running coach knows how to get you to that goal. You do the work, the coach provides the framework for your training and success.

Want to transform your sex life? Stay hard longer? Feel more pleasure? Experience multiple orgasms? Overcome a dry spell? Imagine having an expert coach to guide you towards those goals. Like every good coach, a sex coach is on your team, and works with you to personalize the training you need to meet your goals and experience what you long for.

Our video guides allow us to reach men and women all around the world – 54 countries and counting! After completing our erotic touch technique series and our couples massage video series, we continue to be committed to bringing you new resources for a more pleasurable life. Our coaching practice is intentionally small, so we can have the time to work on videos and the rest of the behind the scenes work we do as a two-woman team to share our commitment to pleasurable touch.

If you are interested in private sex coaching, read more about our Sex Coaching practice and then be in touch!

Workshops

The Pleasure Mechanics Workshops have thrilled and inspired men, women and couples since 2008. We’ve sold out venues from San Francisco to Durham, NC and so many places in between. Our epic road trips of 2009-2011 allowed us to meet so many folks coast-to-coast.

After 50,000 miles on the Pleasure Mechanics chariot, we are staying put for awhile and working exclusively on online media.

But you never know when we’ll open up enrollment for another in-person experience, so please join our mailing list in the sidebar to the right if you want to be one of the first to hear. We’d love to meet you!

Cheers!

 

Pleasure Mechanics Workshops
  • Couples Massage
  • Erotic Massage
  • Ejaculation Control for Men
  • Orgasm Every Time for Women
  • Erotic Spanking
  • Anal Play For Her: 100% Pleasurable, 100% Pain Free Anal Stimulation for Women
  • Prostate Massage
  • Full Spectrum Sexuality: A New Approach to Spiritual Sexuality
  • Make It Rain! How To End Dry Spells

Couples Massage Workshops

Do you want more massage in your life?

Would you like to learn the insider secrets of massage pros?

Do you want to experience more pleasure, connection and passion in your relationship?

Master the art of massage at home with your partner with the Couples Massage Mastery Online Course.

Massage is a powerful and effective way to communicate love and affection. Receiving quality touch leaves you feeling loved, cherished and nourished. Sharing massage at home with your lover is the perfect way to stay connected and experience the pleasure of touch every day.

Massage keeps your physical relationship “warm” so it is easier to get “hot” – by releasing stress, massage creates more opportunities to get aroused and enjoy the full potential of lovemaking.

Scientific studies confirm that touch has powerful health benefits, improves relationships and is essential for humans to survive and thrive.

In this culture, your lover is probably your primary – or only- source of physical touch. Yet very few of us are trained in the art and skill of massage, or can confidently offer our partner full body touch for relaxation and pleasure.

Many couples go weeks, months or years without sharing quality touch. Other relationships get into physical ruts, and intimacy becomes less exciting. Even lovers with fabulous and satisfying sex lives can benefit from learning new ways to touch one another.

Massage offers powerful benefits to all relationships. Massage is an easy, low-pressure way to feed your physical love relationship and strengthen your ability to relax and experience pleasure together.

Join us for an online course in full body massage, designed especially for couples. We have distilled our hundreds of hours of massage training and years of experience as sex educators into simple, easy to learn skills for expressing your love through touch.

Learn an effective massage sequence, covering the entire body, that you can offer as five minute massage quickies or combine to lavish one another in an hour-long full body massage experience. We believe that sharing five or ten minutes of massage a day can offer dramatic benefits to your body and relationship.

In this online course you will:

  • Learn Five Minute Massage Sequences for Five Key Areas: Neck and Shoulders, Back, Butt, Arms and Hands, Legs and Feet
  • Discover the Potent Health Benefits of Pleasurable Touch
  • Learn How To Comfortably Offer Massage Without Wearing Out Your Hands or Body
  • Understand How Massage Can Expand Your Foreplay and Dramatically Improve Your Lovemaking
  • Both Give and Receive Pleasurable Massage, in Easily Learned and Memorable Sequences
  • Learn How To Bring the Grace and Ease of Massage to Your Daily Touch

Everyone can learn to give a great massage! Start sharing the pleasures of massage tonight with our Couples Massage Mastery Online Course

Female Ejaculation and the G Spot

Female Ejaculation has only recently come out of the closet. While first studied by physicians in the 17th century, and documented in Sexology papers ever since, the knowledge and acceptance of female ejaculation was omitted from Western medical practice until very recently.

Meanwhile, many women have been confused and distressed about their own ejaculatory response- in the passions of sex they feel themselves (or their partners notice) a gush of fluid coming from the urethra. Without knowledge of female ejaculation, the natural assumption is that the fluid is urine. Often this triggers a shame response over having “wet the bed,” but perhaps while cleaning those sheets the women noticed that it didn’t smell like urine, and was not yellow like urine.

Just imagine if men did not know about ejaculation, and there was a cultural silence about it. Young boys would be terrified of masturbation, men would be flocking to the doctors for a diagnosis on the strange white substance coming from their urethra. The case of Female Ejaculation and the Female Prostate is a classic example of how medical “knowledge” can define our daily lives. Without an official category for this sexual response, and with most doctors to this day having received no training on the subject, individual women are led to believe that they are doing something wrong or peeing the bed, when in reality their body is experiencing a very natural response to stimulation.

In recent years, sex educators have been on a mission to spread information and normalize female ejaculation and the female prostate. Several books, films and websites now feature female ejaculation. The result is more and more women having the aha! moment of realizing all those times they felt the urge to urinate during arousal or all those times they gushed was actually an experience of female ejaculation.

The Male Prostate vs. The Female Prostate

The male prostate is a gland under the bladder, around the urethra.
The female prostate is a gland under the bladder, around the urethra.

The male prostate produces hormones.
The female prostate produces hormones.

The male prostate, during arousal, produces fluid. This fluid, along with semen, travels down the urethra and out of the body.
The female prostate, during arousal, produces fluid. This fluid travels down the urethra and out of the body.

The male prostate responds to direct and indirect stimulation, and can create strong sexual sensations and powerful orgasms.
The female prostate responds to direct and indirect stimulation, and can create strong sexual sensations and powerful orgasms.

Male ejaculate can either be expelled from the body or absorbed back into the body.
Female ejaculate can either be expelled from the body or absorbed back into the body.