Pleasure Mechanics

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Free Mini Course : Relax and Unwind!

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Couples massage is a complete luxury – one that doesn’t cost a single penny once you have mastered the skills! You can share a few minutes of massage whenever you choose, strengthening your relationship, relaxing your body and unleashing all of the benefits of loving touch. It is simply one of the most powerful techniques for a more pleasurable life, and we want all couples to share this incredible experience.

Start enjoying the pleasures of massage tonight with our FREE Foot Massage Videos, included in our free course The Erotic Essentials.

Here’s why:

Scientific research reveals that babies need skin-to-skin touch to survive and thrive. Adults aren’t much different.

Quality, loving touch offers huge health benefits. Touch strengthens the immune system, relaxes chronic stress, releases healthy hormones and helps regulate sleep patterns.

Touch is also one of the most essential ingredients in a romantic relationship. Touch communicates love and care in a wordless language that we all understand. A good hug at the end of a long day can totally change your mood. Holding hands changes a simple walk into a romantic, connected experience. Cuddling transforms watching a movie into a much more intimate activity.

Many people wonder why, as sex educators, we teach couples massage. The answer is simple: we believe that every couple can benefit from exchanging skilled, quality massage at home. From simple foot rubs to elaborate full body massage experiences, bringing massage home is one of the best things you can do for both your relationship and your sex life.

Professional therapeutic massage is a wonderful thing. It can be a great way to relax and fully receive the benefits of touch. Professional massage can effectively release chronic tension and even offer relief from some medical conditions. Professional massage therapists have hundreds of hours of training in technique and anatomy, and can dig into troublesome areas with precision.

But there is one thing professional massage doesn’t offer: love and intimacy. Only your partner can massage you with the care and passion of someone who is in love with you. Only your lover can infuse their touch with profound emotions. And, only your lover can use massage as a powerful form of foreplay, preparing your body for high states of arousal and more expansive orgasms.

Couples massage combines the best of massage with the sensuality of making love for a truly extraordinary experience. There is nothing quite like relaxing into your lover’s touch as their hands glide over your body, slipping over your contours with graceful ease.

As you relax and breathe deep, their hands expertly knead out your stress and transforming your body into a vessel for pleasure. Perhaps they lean in and offer small kisses, reminding you how much you are loved. Within just a few minutes, you can go from stressed out to a sexy, pleasure saturated body ready for more connection (or just ready to drift off into a deeply relaxing sleep!

While professional massage and couple’s massage may share some of the same strokes (we teach you the secrets of the pros in our Couples Massage Mastery course!) they offer two totally different experiences.
Professional therapeutic massage can be wonderful, and we encourage you to receive it as often as you can afford it! But for a daily dose of loving, affectionate and romantic touch, bring the power of massage home.

Learn The Love Language Of Massage

“Hey darling, would you like a ten minute massage tonight?”

If those words sound like heaven, it is time to bring the pleasures of massage home. For many people, massage is one of the quickest ways to create full body relaxation and pleasure. Just a few minutes of massage can totally change your feeling state in your body, how you relate to your partner, and the quality of time you are sharing together.

We are so passionate about the power of massage we want you to experience the benefits of sharing massage right at home, anytime you choose. For over 10 years, our Couples Massage Mastery online course has trained lovers in sharing deep, satisfying pro-quality – check it out here.

Podcasts About The Power Of Couples Massage

  • Episode #061: Sexual Superhero Secrets Revealed!
  • Episode #202: The Emotional Authenticity of Erotic Touch
  • Episode #235: The Erotic Power of Couples Massage
  • Episode #331: Too Stressed Out For Sex? Here’s How To Complete The Stress Cycle

Unleash Your Desires

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Unleash Your Desire :: Free Podcast Episode

Sexual shame can cripple desire and kill your libido. Here’s how to clear away the roadblocks and unleash your deepest desires so you can have a fulfilling sex life.

Just as we were preparing to launch the Kinky Sex Mastery Course, we received this email:

My biggest struggle is that I find it hard to get turned on. I do have one very specific turn-on but I’m really really embarrassed about it. A few years ago I told my husband about it, and we have had a few conversations about it. He says he doesn’t find it weird and that it’s a turn-on for him too (in certain aspects), he tries to incorporate it into our sex life, but I don’t think it will make a big difference until *I* feel comfortable about it and can stop being so mortified.

The other thing I would say is that my husband is interested in me being “his slut” and controlling me (in bed!). I am not against that, but I think I have a hard time getting over the notion that it is disrespectful. I would like to let go of that fear that his sexual desires are a reflection of our loving relationship so that we could both enjoy ourselves more.  
Love your podcast! 🙂

In this episode we share strategies and advice for overcoming sexual shame and unleashing your desires.

Pleasure and Pain

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In this not-to-be-missed episode, Chris shares some of her personal stories about exploring the relationship between pleasure and pain through kinky sex.

How are pleasure and pain related?

Why do some people crave that combination of pleasure and pain?

When is it intensity that we are seeking, and when is it a different kind of turn-on?

Chris explores the thin boundary between pleasure and pain in this candid and personal conversation.

Hit the play button at the top of this page to listen to this episode of the Speaking of Sex Podcast. Click here for a full archive of Speaking of Sex. 

Kinky Sex Mastery Online Course

Sexual Fantasies

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Sexual Fantasy :: Free Podcast EpisodeThe Most Common Sexual Fantasies

Countless surveys have confirmed the most common fantasies amongst men and women. Surprisingly, most fantasies arouse somewhere between 30-50% of men and women alike. We all pull from the same well of common sexual fantasies, but each have a unique constellation of turn-ons. In addition, there are countless sexual fantasies that arouse fewer people, but are very real for those who are turned on by more obscure interests.

The most common sexual fantasies are:

  • Domination & Submission (Erotic Power Play)
  • Bondage
  • Spankings & Flogging (Intense Sensation Play)
  • Threesomes or Group Sex
  • Roleplaying
  • Outdoor Sex
  • Sex In Unusual Places
  • Sex With Forbidden People (Erotic Roleplaying)

In the podcast on this page (hit the play button at the top of the page!) we explore how you can bring elements of these fantasies to life with your partner. The Kinky Sex Mastery Course is designed to guide you in exploring your sexual fantasies – while staying safe and protecting your relationship!

Sexual Fantasies Are NOT Desires

The difference between Fantasy and Desire is incredibly important to establish and maintain. Establishing this difference will give you more freedom to explore Fantasy and more confidence in naming your Desires. You’ll be more likely to know what you authentically want, and much more likely to make those Desires a reality.

We strongly urge you to maintain a very clear distinction between these terms, according to their dictionary definitions:

Fantasy:  the activity of imagining things, esp. things that are impossible or improbable

Fantasy is the realm where anything is possible, where you are free to imagine wild scenarios, extraordinary circumstances and superhuman powers.

Desire: a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.

Desires are those experiences that you find pleasurable and want more of in your actual life. Desires are specific elements from the world of fantasy and reality that you find fulfilling.

In Fantasy, anything is possible. The limits of reality do not apply. The bank account is endless, your health and safety are guaranteed. You are dropped into the blank slate of possibility, and the only limit is your imagination. In the realm of Fantasy, you can privately explore the outer limits without having to justify your thoughts to anyone, without any risk.

Something changes from a Fantasy to a Desire as soon as you want to make it real. Fantasies are not fulfilled – Desires are. Fantasies live in our imagination alone, Desires are part of our real physical lives. Pleasures may change from one category to the other over your lifetime, moving across the boundary as dictated by your life circumstance, physical abilities and your emotional and physical needs.

One of the very first steps in the Kinky Sex Mastery Course is to share some of your sexual fantasies and define your desires with your partner. This is the first step towards making elements of your sexual fantasies come to life in your actual erotic life.

Sexual Fantasy Is A Safe Zone

Humans use fantasy in just about every realm of life: from sci-fi alien stories to vampire romances, sports hero movies to war dramas. We actively seek out books, movies and shows that explore the fantasy of other worlds and extraordinary circumstances. Everyone has different kinds of fantasies they enjoy – one guy might be really into gory monster movies but flinch at war movies, and his buddy might be really into historical battle scenes but yawn at zombie flicks.

In most realms, we do not assign moral judgement to our fantasy lives – no one is concerned that all the people obsessed with vampire dramas are going to start drinking their lover’s blood. We give ourselves permission to enjoy the realm of fantasy, to experience the emotional catharsis of traveling into other realms in our imagination alone, and cherish the safety of the theater seat while we watch the bloody spectacle on screen.

When it comes to sexual fantasy, however, people tend to be a bit more tentative to give themselves permission to have an active and rich fantasy life. Many people experience guilt and shame over their fantasies, even those they never intend to make real. We somehow believe that our sexual fantasies say something about who we are as people, about our morals and characters. Think about it, more people are comfortable admitting that they enjoy brutal horror movies than that they enjoy a simple bondage fantasy. We know the horror flick doesn’t make us lunatic killers, so why does a bondage fantasy come with a moral judgement?

We believe this guilt and shame over the realm of sexual fantasy is a very sticky residue from our culture’s puritanical past. For thousands of years, our sexual behavior was under strict control by the institutions of church and state, and this control was so effective it even made us constrict and fear our erotic imagination. Whatever your religious position and personal sexual ethics dictate you do in real life, we believe the realm of fantasy should be without moral implications. This freedom is essential to allow yourself if you want to know yourself as a sexual being, free from guilt and shame.

Sexual Fantasy Makes Your Sex Life Is a Work of Art

Sexual fantasy is the creative force in your sex life. It is what allows you to go beyond the predictable, standard issue sexual experience. By bringing creativity and imagination to your sex life, you start crafting a sex life that is your own work of art.

Sexual fantasy demands your creativity and rewards you with a richer experience of your sexuality how you interact with the world around you.

Human beings are playful sexual creatures. No other animal in the world is as creative as we are when it comes to our mating rituals. We make love not only for procreation, not only for pleasure, but to express emotions and cement intimate relationships. Human sexuality is indeed an art form – and sexual fantasy is one of the most powerful ways to fuel you erotic creativity and begin designing a sex life that truly expresses your unique personality and fulfills your desires.

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