Pleasure Mechanics

Low Sex Drive In Men? What To Do!

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Low Sex Drive In Men? What To Do!Many men experience low libido at one point in their life. They often don’t speak up about their low sex drive out of shame, and end up feeling isolated.

Low libido? Sex drive problems? Be sure to tune in to our Rethinking Libido podcast mini series!

In this episode, we answer a call-in question about low sex drive in men and what to do about it.

We cover:

  • the myth that men have higher sex drives than women
  • physical and emotional reasons for lower sex drive
  • what to do with mismatched libido in your relationship
  • the crucial difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire
  • how to bridge the gap between libidos so both partner’s needs are met

The Marriage and Family Health Center reports that “In half the couples who come to the Marriage and Family Health Center for sexual desire problems, the man is the low desire partner.” (Myths of Sexless Marriages)

The myth of gendered libido keeps a lot of men silent about their low libido. The truth is, men and women both can experience high and low libidos. It varies person by person but also in different stages in life, health and social circumstances.

The essential thing is to communicate clearly with your partner about both of your sex drives, and figure out what kind of sex life will make both of you happy and satisfied. A combination of masturbation, fantasy and partnered sex can be negotiated to work for just about any combination of libidos!

When Is Masturbation Cheating?

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When Is Masturbation Cheating?If you aren’t in the mood for sex with your partner, but still masturbate frequently, does it count as cheating? What does it mean when masturbation is more desirable than sex?

We explore these questions and also give advice on how to stay connected to your lover when going through a stressful time or a dry spell.

 

How To Make Her Want Back Door Play

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How To Make Her Want Back Door Play
Anal stimulation can feel amazing and be part of highly orgasmic sex. But many women avoid it because they have had painful experiences in the past, or they are afraid it will hurt.

Here’s how to make it incredibly pleasurable and pain free so she can learn to love it!

Ready to get started exploring the thrills of anal stimulation? Enroll in our Anal Sex Mastery online course!

Boring Sex? Here Is How To Fix It

Boring Sex? Here Is How To Fix It

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Do you ever feel like you are stuck in a rut during lovemaking?

Routines are simply not very sexy, and with good reason. Our human brains adapt to any kind of repeated stimulation, focusing less attention on what is familiar to free up bandwidth to detect new and surprising stimulation.

This information is valuable in two ways. First, when you are touching your lover it is important to use both repetition and variety to create as much pleasure as possible. Repeating the strokes your lover likes best creates a steady build of arousal, but without an occasional surprise their body will tune out eventually.

The same is true in the bigger picture of your relationship. If you make love in the same way over and over again, boredom and numbness will set in. Intimacy will become less thrilling, less exciting and eventually you’ll tune out all together.

The solution? Seek novelty. This doesn’t mean you have to become a swinger or have an open relationship! Our erotic brains like novelty of all kinds. Any new experience you share with your lover will release dopamine in your brain, creating a thrill and the satisfaction of experiencing something new. Travel is one of the best ways to create novelty. Another easy way to tap into novelty is to do something new together, like taking a dance class. You get bonus points for anything that is a little risky or dangerous.

You can also apply the rule of novelty to your lovemaking. If you find yourself in a rut, make sure to focus on shaking things up by trying new activities, tapping into a variety of erotic energies and never doing it quite the same way twice in a row! Even small changes can make a big difference in how you feel about the sex you are having.

This week’s podcast is dedicated to strategies to get out of ruts. We heard from a member of our community who has been in a 10 year rut that is driving him crazy, but his wife isn’t willing to change things up. Tune in to hear our advice for getting out of the scripts and routines that are making his love life a bore.