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Prioritize Your Pleasure

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Since 2006, we’ve been The Pleasure Mechanics, dedicated full time to exploring the power of pleasure, intimacy, joy and connection. It’s been our mission to remember the role of pleasure in our human experience and the creative, generative, healing force of eroticism. One of our anthems since the very early days has been : Prioritize Pleasure

In this episode we explore the practice of prioritizing pleasure. Why can it be so hard to prioritize pleasure, even when we know it is such a positive and healthy force in our lives? How can we prioritize pleasure more often, and reap the personal and collective benefits of this tremendous force?

Ready to explore with us? Start here

Check Out Our Ignite!Raleigh talk from 2010!

We have been teaching about making pleasure a priority since we formed Pleasure Mechanics in 2006. We wouldn’t use the same highly gendered language or examples today, but we are still just as passionate about tapping into our human pleasure potential!

Feeling guilty about making time for pleasure?

Pleasure is often thought about as being selfish, greedy, or hedonistic. We believe in making Pleasure a Priority.

Pleasure does not just happen to us – we must actively choose to cultivate pleasure in our individual lives and in our relationships.

Pleasure is healthy, makes us feel happier, more alive, and gives us energy to fuel our days.

We believe that being fulfilled with pleasure makes us better partners, parents, friends and coworkers.

10 Ways Pleasure Can Save Your Life

Here’s a transcript of a live talk we gave in about 2009 about “10 Ways Pleasure Can Save Your Life”

And, we believe Pleasure can SAVE your life. Literally. Here are 10 reasons why:

#10 – The autonomic nervous system controls the heart, the smooth muscles around your organs, and your glands. There are two modes – Sympathetic and Parasympathetic – Stress and Pleasure. Many adults stay stuck in the stress mode, which has devastating impact on your health. Experiencing pleasure counteracts the impact of stress and gives your body the chance to heal.

#9 – Pleasure is essential for your heart health. Pleasure activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the heart rate, lowers blood pressure and stimulates production of healthy hormones that are highly beneficial to heart health. 

#8 – Every experience of pleasure activates your immune system, providing a measurable and enduring boost to your body’s natural defenses. A single moment of pleasure can boost your immune response for up to 6 hours.

#7 – Pleasurable touch creates a positive upswing in our entire system. When you are touched or cuddled, your blood chemistry can change in as little as one millionth of a second – the brain instantly responds to pleasurable touch with a flood of endorphins.

#6 – Experiencing pleasure can help us feel loved. Feeling loved and emotionally secure is essential for the overall health of mammals. Study after study shows that emotional bonds and physical contact allow mammals to thrive. Studies with infants have shown that touch and love are biological needs on par with food and water. Adults also need touch to thrive – try exchanging more couples massage at home and notice the profound difference it can make in your life! 

#5 – The first five ways pleasure can save your life are all about the physical health benefits of pleasure. These health benefits should not be underestimated – more and more medical studies are confirming that pleasure, relaxation and love may be the best cure for what ails us. But we all know that quality of life is measured by much more than physical health. Pleasure is what makes our lives worth living, giving us a sense of purpose and direction. Pleasure can be a strong motivator for altruism and generosity.

#4 – Many long-term relationships and marriages end because of a lack of pleasure. Most love relationships prioritize shared pleasure in the beginning, but over the years, stress, responsibilities and duties tend to eclipse pleasure. By creating a culture of pleasure in relationships, and making it a priority to share pleasure in all forms, long term relationships can thrive.

#3 – We believe that being in tune with your authentic desires and pleasure leads to a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction with your life. A lack of fulfilling pleasure can lead to resent and regret – the toxic twins that can make you feel like you wasted time, or lived a life of someone else’s making.

#2 – We all have a unique constellation of pleasures. Our pleasures and desires are part of what makes us who we are, and we often establish our communities around shared pleasures. Paying attention to what gives you pleasure will allow you to know yourself, and build more meaningful relationships and communities.

#1 – What are you truly passionate about? What kind of pleasure lights you up, make you feel completely alive?  By locating peak moments of pleasure from our past and paying attention to new passions as they emerge, we can choose to live a more passionate life.

Making pleasure a priority can bring your body back into balance, counteracting the deadly effects of stress, and may literally save your life.

And, pleasure will make you happier and more fulfilled – so you can be sure that the life you save is worth living.

Ready to start making pleasure a priority? Let’s get started.

Open To Receiving

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Get discounts on pleasure tools and toys from all of our podcast sponsors here

There are so many reasons why receiving sexual pleasure can be challenging for so many of us. 

Receiving sexual pleasure is a specific skill set that is necessary to complete the circuit of pleasure when we are making love. 

We can think about receiving sexual pleasure as being similar to receiving a gift, where the gift is the attention, care and presence of our lover.

Click here to enroll in Erotic Touch Mastery, our two bestselling courses in one bundle!

When we don’t fully receive the gift of sexual pleasure that is being offered, it is similar to leaving a gift unopened. Instead of fully receiving the gift, some of us might find it easier to deflect, disagree or diminish the offering.

We can explore how we feel and respond to receiving, in and out of the bedroom, by noticing how we respond to receiving compliments and gifts. 

When we are given a compliment, we can practice saying “thank you” as a complete response. This can become a practice of receiving the gift of a compliment without diminishing, deflecting or disagreeing with the offering. Uncomfortable feelings may arise in response to receiving a compliment, but we can notice this and practice choosing a different response that allows us to receive the compliment a little more deeply.

There is an art to receiving gifts, compliments and sexual pleasure. We can constantly increase our artistry and capacity for receiving pleasure by practicing receiving both in and out of the bedroom. 

Part of allowing ourselves to deeply enjoy the gift of what is offered to us, is to remember that we do not just have to receive what is given. You are always allowed to kindly and sensitively ask for adjustments so you can receive more pleasure. Your lover wants nothing more than to delight you and bring you pleasure. When you make adjustments to allow yourself to receive more pleasure you are contributing to increasing the circuit of pleasure between you. 

When we bring some attention to the skillset of receiving pleasure we can allow the conversation and micro practices to encourage you to keep receiving more pleasure, joy and connection. We can allow our successes to contribute to a pleasurable upward spiral of feeling and experiencing more pleasure in your body and relationships over time. Join us in exploring this conversation within this podcast episode.

Click here to enroll in Erotic Touch Mastery, our two bestselling courses in one bundle!

Thanks to our episode sponsors for being part of our global team of Pleasure Partners:

  • Check out the high quality silicone lubricant from Uberlube.com and use the code PLEASURE for 10% off and Free Shipping Use promo code PLEASURE at check out for 10% off and free shipping
  • DipseaStories : Explore an audio library of immersive erotic soundscapes, explicit stories and more. Use code PLEASURE for 30 day free trial

Preventing Premature Penetration

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Penetration of all kinds can be an intimate and orgasmic part of the erotic experience – but only if everyone involved is ripe and ready for this physical, emotional and relational event. Far too often, lovers rush towards penetration and end up under-stimulated and unsatisfied. In this episode, we explore how to prioritize readiness when it comes to penetration to make it as pleasurable as possible for everyone involved.

Get discounts on pleasure tools and toys from all of our podcast sponsors here

Ready to master the art of erotic touch and lavish your lover with pleasure?

Click here to enroll in Erotic Touch Mastery, our two bestselling courses in one bundle!

Thanks to our episode sponsors for being part of our global team of Pleasure Partners:

  • Check out the high quality silicone lubricant from Uberlube.com and use the code PLEASURE for 10% off and Free Shipping Use promo code PLEASURE at check out for 10% off and free shipping

Continue The Conversation With These Speaking of Sex Episodes

  • Playing Without Penetration : Fulfilling Sexuality Beyond Intercourse
  • Playing With Penetration Part 1: Graceful Penetration
  • A Whole New Approach To Anal Play
  • Reclaiming Soft Penis Pleasures

How To Build A Sex Room On Any Budget

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The Netflix series How To Build A Sex Room has a lot of us asking questions about how we can create a more conducive space for our sex life, yet few of us have the time, budget and square footage for a dedicated sex room. But we ALL can cultivate our erotic context with small acts of expression and agency – and on this episode we share how to create space for your erotic expression and exploration, on any budget.

Get discounts on pleasure tools and toys from all of our podcast sponsors here

Find the music that makes you feel sexy and playful. Check out Kenzi.Audio for the music that gets Chris moving, and try building your own sex playlists to create for soundtrack your best sex life. Here is one of Chris’ favorite Kenzi playlists on Spotify to get you started!

Explore the erotic watercolor art from our own Charlotte Mia Rose and consider how you can use art on your walls to quickly change the mood and feel of your space.

Thanks to our episode sponsors for being part of our global team of Pleasure Partners:

  •  Explore an audio library of immersive audio erotica with a 30 day free trial at DipseaStories
  • Check out the high quality silicone lubricant from Uberlube.com and use the code PLEASURE for 10% off and Free Shipping Use promo code PLEASURE at check out for 10% off and free shipping
  • Get discounts on pleasure tools and toys from all of our podcast sponsors here

Continue The Conversation With These Speaking of Sex Episodes

  • Overcoming Distraction For Better Sex
  • The Dual Control Model of Arousal
  • Manage Your Turn Ons and Turn Offs

The Neuroscience of Pleasure with Dr. Nan Wise

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Dr. Nan Wise joins us to discuss the emerging neuroscience of pleasure, orgasm and emotions.

Get discounts on pleasure tools and toys from all of our podcast sponsors here

Nan Wise, Ph.D. is the author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier and More Purpose Filled Life. She is a cognitive neuroscience researcher at Rutgers University and has a private practice. Connect with her at AskDoctorNan.com

Explore your erotic mind and body with the powerful pleasure practices in our Mindful Sex online course

Thanks to our episode sponsors for being part of our global team of Pleasure Partners:

  •  Explore an audio library of immersive audio erotica with a 30 day free trial at DipseaStories
  • Check out the high quality silicone lubricant from Uberlube.com and use the code PLEASURE for 10% off and Free Shipping Use promo code PLEASURE at check out for 10% off and free shipping
  • Get discounts on pleasure tools and toys from all of our podcast sponsors here

Bonus Clips from Nan Wise Interview

Nan Wise on the benefits of orgasm and pleasure:

Nan Wise on feeling full “peak and release” emotional cycles

Nan Wise on Lust, Care & Play

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