Pleasure Mechanics

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Withholding Touch From Your Lover

“Withholding pleasurable touch is a kind of punishment. Our bodies have developed to seek out that which sustains us (pleasure) and avoid that which threatens us (pain). We are a population of touch starved individuals, trying not to look desperate and trying to achieve some quality of life in spite of ourselves. Touch needs are often confused with sex drive – and many people find that when they are receiving loving touch their desperate need for sex is minimized and they can make healthier sexual choices.”

I came across this piece of writing today – from my late great massage teacher Chester Mainard. Chester taught me so much about the importance of massage as a vehicle for communicating love. All of the work we do is designed to teach men and women around the world how to touch with more skill and confidence – so touch becomes a second language for communicating love and affection.

We hope our videos inspire you to share more touch with those you love, and that your quality of life increases dramatically!

Are You Suffering From Touch Starvation?

As human beings, touch is an essential biological need. Babies will die if they are not touched – this has been well documented in cases of neglect, specifically in orphanages. As adults, studies have shown that going for long periods of time without human contact can lead to anxiety disorders, depression, heart disease and other health problems.

While it never gets that extreme for most people – many of us do suffer from touch starvation. In this culture in particular, we don’t touch one another very often. Handshakes are about all we get from anyone other than close friends and lovers. Many friends hardly hug one another, let alone cuddle up on the couch together.

We believe that for those of us who have a lover, it is great to deliberately choose to shower one another with affectionate touch. Massage gives you a toolbox of ways of touching one another pleasurably – so the smallest of moments, like standing in line at a grocery store, can be filled with a moment of quality touch – a hand resting on the small of your back, for example. Touch is a language – one that you can use to communicate with your loved ones. Learn with our massage video guides so you can touch your lover’s entire body with skill and confidence.

Top Ten Ways Pleasure Can Save Your Life!

Pleasure is often thought about as being selfish, greedy, or hedonistic. We believe in making Pleasure a Priority. Pleasure does not just happen to us – we must actively choose to cultivate pleasure in our individual lives and in our relationships.

Pleasure is healthy, makes us feel happier, more alive, and gives us energy to fuel our days. We believe that being fulfilled with pleasure makes us better partners, parents, friends and coworkers.

And, we believe Pleasure can SAVE your life. Literally.

Here are 10 reasons why:

#10 – The autonomic nervous system controls the heart, the smooth muscles around your organs, and your glands. There are two modes – Sympathetic and Parasympathetic – Stress and Pleasure. Many adults stay stuck in the stress mode, which has devastating impact on your health. Experiencing pleasure counteracts the impact of stress and gives your body the chance to heal.

#9 – Pleasure is essential for your heart health. Pleasure activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the heart rate, lowers blood pressure and stimulates production of healthy hormones that are highly beneficial to heart health.

#8 – Every experience of pleasure activates your immune system, providing a measurable and enduring boost to your body’s natural defenses. A single moment of pleasure can boost your immune response for up to 6 hours.

#7 – Pleasurable touch alleviates depression. If you are feeling depressed, and are touched or cuddled, your blood chemistry can change in as little as one millionth of a second – the brain instantly responds to pleasurable touch with a flood of endorphins. Studies have shown that many chronically depressed people are also touch starved.

#6 – Experiencing pleasure makes you feel loved. Feeling loved and emotionally secure is essential for the overall health of mammals. Study after study shows that emotional bonds and physical contact allow mammals to thrive. Studies with infants have shown that touch and love are biological needs on par with food and water.

#5 – The first five ways pleasure can save your life are all about the physical health benefits of pleasure. These health benefits should not be underestimated – more and more medical studies are confirming that pleasure, relaxation and love may be the best cure for what ails us. But we all know that quality of life is measured by much more than physical health. Pleasure is what makes our lives worth living.

#4 – Many long-term relationships and marriages end because of a lack of pleasure. Most love relationships prioritize shared pleasure in the beginning, but over the years, stress, responsibilities and duties tend to eclipse pleasure. By creating a culture of pleasure in relationships, and making it a priority to share pleasure in all forms, long term relationships can thrive.

#3 – We believe that being in tune with your authentic desires and pleasure leads to a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction with your life. Unfulfilled desires leads to resent and regret – the toxic twins that can make you feel like you wasted time, or lived a life of someone else’s making.

#2 – We all have a unique constellation of pleasures. Our pleasures and desires are part of what makes us who we are, and we often establish our communities around shared pleasures. Paying attention to what gives you pleasure will allow you to know yourself, and build more meaningful relationships and communities.

#1 – What are you truly passionate about? What kind of pleasure lights you up, make you feel completely alive? By locating peak moments of pleasure from our past and paying attention to new passions as they emerge, we can choose to live a more passionate life.

Making pleasure a priority can bring your body back into balance, counteracting the deadly effects of stress, and may literally save your life. And, pleasure will make you happier and more fulfilled – so you can be sure that the life you save is worth living.

How To Have Multiple Orgasms

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How To Have Multiple Orgasms

In this episode, we share how to have multiple orgasms as we answer a listener’s question about how to experience multiple orgasms.

Are all women capable of multiple orgasms?

How can women learn to have multiple orgasms? Listen in to find out!

Curious about male multiple orgasms? Check out the podcast episode on Multiple Orgasms For Every Body

More About How To Have Multiple Orgasms

In this episode, we answer a listener’s question about how to have multiple orgasms. She wants to know if all women can learn how to have multiple orgasms, or if she should be satisfied with just one orgasm.

While not essential for great sex, all women can learn how to have multiple orgasms if they choose. We offer practical strategies to try out during both solo and partnered sex to build arousal towards a second (or third, or fourth!) orgasm.

Many women experience hypersensitivity in the clitoris after an orgasm, making them stop the sexual experience after one orgasm. We share techniques to stay connected and continue building arousal while giving the clitoris a rest. We also discuss breathing techniques, how to build more arousal through stimulating multiple erogenous zones, and how to communicate with your partner as you explore how to have multiple orgasms together.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

The Pleasure Mechanics Guide to Fingering : Part of the Foreplay Mastery Course

You can subscribe to the Speaking of Sex podcast via Itunes so you never miss an episode!

 

Vaginal wetness is not equal to female arousal.

There is of course an overlap, those times when a woman is both aroused and wet.

And yet. . .

A woman can be highly aroused and not at all wet.

Or very wet and not at all aroused!

Lubricants are always an option to increase wetness, which, in turn, may heighten arousal.

 

https://www.pleasuremechanics.com/wetness-and-arousal/

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