Pleasure Mechanics

The Blowjob Swallow Debate

 

Blowjob Swallow

Comment::

Hi. I really liked your article on yourtango.com about how to give a blowjob. Especially your answer to the comment about the blowjob swallow debate. I loved your idea of thinking of swallowing as honoring and respectful and oral sex as a gift. That’s a great way to put it!

I find it strange and annoying when sex experts or authors of books or articles on blowjobs spend more time explaining ways to avoid letting guys cum in your mouth when you’re sucking their penis or ways to avoid swallowing. I’ve never understood why that would be more enjoyable for the guy, or even for the girl giving the blowjob.

Your comment reminded me of a friend I had in school, she got into oral sex before I did and helped me out with tips when I was starting out. She felt that a guy’s cum was her reward for the blowjob. I always thought that was a cute way of looking at it, and when you actually think that way while you’re going down on someone it really makes you look forward to the guy getting off in your mouth. And when you think about it, it kind of makes sense. Isn’t it a privilege to be able to make men release their semen into your mouth just with a little attention from your lips and tongue? And like you said by swallowing it’s like your honoring that event. To me at least it’s deeply satisfying and exciting to feel a man’s orgasm and his ejaculation through my lips and tongue.

I think this topic would make for a helpful article on your site, btw. Thanks for your positive attitude about it. Your article put me in a mood to give a blow job, or two! 😉

Megan

A:: Thanks for writing in, Megan, about your feelings in the great blowjob swallow debate! Some women may never want to swallow, and that is their choice. What is essential is that we honor our bodily fluids as part of the gift of our incredible human sexuality – when we talk about the “blowjob swallow” as something nasty and disgusting, we disrespect the male body. We think it is time to reframe the conversation and allow ejaculates to be honored – and that can include a “blowjob swallow” or not! Whether or not you want to swallow, we recommend mastering handjob skills! Being able to give a great handjob makes oral sex way more pleasurable, and if you aren’t in the mood to swallow you can finish him off with your hands and choose where the ejaculate lands!

How To Touch Balls

The balls, or testicles, are one of the most ignored parts of the male sexual system. A lot of women don’t know how to touch the balls to give him pleasure. The balls seem delicate and fragile. In reality, most men’s balls are very sensitive to touch and can be a source of erotic pleasure. Learn how to touch his balls to add more pleasure to your handjobs and prostate massage.

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How To Touch Balls: 10 Strategies For Maximum Pleasure

How To Touch Balls Strategy 1) Focus on the scrotum, not the balls. The scrotum is the tissue surrounding the balls. The skin is quite sensitive and can handle deep pressure. The balls themselves are more delicate and should be handled with care!

How To Touch Balls Strategy 2) As you’re kissing, gently hold his testicles in your hand. Simply hold still and allow him to feel the warmth of your hand.

How To Touch Balls Strategy 3) Trace circles at the crease at the base of the penis where the shaft meets the scrotum.

How To Touch Balls Strategy 4)  Explore very light pinching on the skin of the scrotum. Roll the skin in between your fingers very gently and watch how he reacts.

How To Touch Balls Strategy 5) Wrap your fingers around the scrotum and massage them lightly between your thumb and index finger. Gently pull the testicles down and away from his body so you’re holding them in a tight sack of skin. This exposes more nerve endings and increases sensitivity. Now stroke the taut skin and see how it feels.

How To Touch Balls Strategy 6) Wrap both hands around his penis with a firm grip. Now glide one hand up and over the head and the other hand down and across the balls. This move will make the penis feel large and expand the sensation. Use lube or massage oil to create a nice smooth glide.

How To Touch Balls Strategy 7) Straddle his chest, facing his pelvis. Reach down all the way to his perineum, then drag your hands, hand over hand, over the scrotum and penis, and up onto his stomach.

How To Touch Balls Strategy 8) Very lightly run your fingernails over the skin of the scrotum. Notice how he responds. Some guys love this scratching sensation and will get almost giddy with pleasure. Other guys get nervous. See if he enjoys it and respond accordingly.

How To Touch Balls Strategy 9) Pull the scrotum into your mouth. First, just hold still. Then move your tongue around, exploring the contours of the scrotal skin. Find the seam that runs down the middle of his testicles and lick it.

How To Touch Balls Strategy 10) As you touch his scrotum with one hand, place the flat of your knuckles on your other hand against his perineum (the area between his testicles and anus), and vibrate it. Shake your fist, pulse in and out. We cover a lot more techniques for stimulating the perineum on both our Handjob and Prostate Massage video guides.

Have fun learning how to touch his balls with more creativity and confidence. Master the art of stimulating his entire sexual system with our stroke-by-stroke guides on handjobs (part of our Foreplay Mastery Online Course) and prostate massage to be the best lover he’s ever had!

Q& A: Handjob Vs. Blowjob

Question::

Hi. I’m thinking of ordering your hand job video. Question though. Can a hand job be just as pleasurable and sexy as a blowjob? I want to get a handjob cause I don’t want to risk std/sti from blowjobs.

Thanks!

Jason

Answer:: 

Hey Jason!

Thanks for being in touch. I LOVE this email because I can say your situation is perfect for what we offer. Handjobs can be amazing – the hands can deliver a huge range of sensations unavailable in any other way. Oral sex is a totally amazing experience, and I hesitate to compare them, but a good handjob can be just as transcendent. Most handjobs are totally boring because people stick to one or two strokes. Our handjob video guide shows you tons of ways to stimulate the penis for maximum sensation. Handjobs are also great to prolong arousal, keeping a guy suspended in pleasure for longer than he can believe. I strongly encourage you to explore going through the guide a few times with your lover, and then just playing and discovering which strokes are your favorite (my favorite? “endless penetration” – so fun!)
And you are right that it is 100% safe sex – great to be able to give one another so much pleasure without any of the worry!
Cheers,
Chris
What do you think? Can handjobs be as sexy as blowjobs? Use the Ask Us Anything page to share your opinion – or ask us a sex question of your own! 

Responsive Desire

Let’s face it: life is busy, our to-do lists are long and at the end of the day it can feel exhausting to think about getting intimate.

But if you wait until you are in the mood, you might be caught waiting for far longer than you want.

What if instead you sought out a pleasure you are ready to say yes to, and then the next?

This is the essential difference between .

So here is a simple choice that can do wonders for your overall pleasure, joy and intimate connection: find a pleasure to say yes to, and let that be the spark in a responsive desire cycle. Let one pleasure lead to the next, as it feels good and right in the moment. This isn’t about faking anything – in fact it’s about finding your most authentic yes.

If exploring responsive desire with a lover, meet wherever you both can show up fully. Go for a walk or sit on the couch and talk. Play a game or workout together. Ask to cuddle. Choose to get naked, get in bed and simply explore full body touch.

Don’t put pressure on the situation, don’t have an agenda to go all the way. Just connect. Laugh. Touch. Then notice how you feel.

Most of the time, your body will start warming up and feeling really good, your mind will relax and you’ll say things like “Why don’t we do this EVERY night?”

This “get naked and touch” advice is even more important for those of us who don’t often experience the lightning bolt feeling of horniness or spontaneous desire. Some people are simply more likely to feel aroused and ready for intimacy once they are already in an erotic situation (naked and touching their lover!) rather than spontaneously as they are washing up after dinner.

Once you are naked and in bed, focus on full body touch, using all of the strokes you have learned from the . Then, if you find yourself aroused, you can move on to or other kinds of orgasmic stimulation. But remember that even a few moments of full body touch is enough to trigger your brain’s pleasure response, create head-to-toe relaxation and release all the health benefits of touch. Make a few minutes of full body touch part of your daily routine and you’ll notice tremendous benefits for your health and your relationship.

So don’t wait to be in the mood for intimacy. Choose to get naked and start touching and see what happens!