Pleasure Mechanics

The Peak Erotic Experience Exercise

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The Peak Erotic Experience Exercise is an easy and effective tool to identify your personal erotic blueprint. By thinking about your best sexual experiences, you can start to identify the elements that turn you on and create the most satisfying sex life possible.

The Peak Erotic Experience Exercise is from the late Dr. Jack Morin and is outlined in his amazing book The Erotic Mind.

This episode is an encore presentation of Speaking of Sex episode #073 Peak Erotic Experiences

Sex In The Great Outdoors

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Sex in the great outdoors can be a thrilling adventure – here’s how to do it while avoiding the risks of outdoor sex (like getting caught!)

Outdoor sex is a very common fantasy. Read how to make it hot and keep it safe.

Outdoor Sex : The Do’s And Don’ts of Outdoor Sex

Outdoor sex is one of the most common fantasies for both men and women. The sheer delight of being surrounded by beautiful nature is amped up by the thrill of possibly getting caught. There may also be a primal reason for enjoying sex outdoors, after all, it is how we humans had sex for millennia.

As thrilling as outdoor sex may be, there is nothing less sexy than getting arrested for a sex crime. Here are a few do’s and don’ts for enjoying the thrill of outdoor sex without risking an arrest!

DO Take Baby Steps!

Having outdoor sex in public is illegal. Making out is perfectly within the law. If you want the thrill of outdoor sex with zero legal risk, settle for a heavy make out session, fully clothed. You can get incredibly turned on without shedding any clothes. Use this technique to eroticize very public places. You may never have sex on the edge of the Grand Canyon but you can still create some erotic memories!

DO Use Your Hands!

If you want to go beyond making out but aren’t quite ready for outdoor sex, take turns stimulating one another with your hands. You don’t have to take off as many clothes but still get the experience of climaxing in the great outdoors! Master the skills of full body erotic touch and you’ll always be able to reach great heights without risking taking it all off!

DO Explore The Deep Wilderness!

Many state and national parks are vast, but most tourists stay on a few main trails. If you want to have outdoor sex without getting caught, you’re going to have to earn the privilege by hiking deep into the wilderness. Once you haven’t seen another hiker for a good hour or so, you are in the right zone.

DO Position Yourself Strategically

On many hiking trails, you’ll find spots where you can see people coming in either direction. These are the perfect locations to get naughty. Tell your lover to keep a lookout then drop to your knees to pleasure them. If your lover spots someone coming, you’ll have enough time to tuck everything away!

DON’T Risk Your Safety!

When choosing your spot to get frisky, look around for potential dangers. Don’t settle in too close to a cliff, near any stinging or poisonous plants, or anywhere near insect nests or other potential dangers. Know your terrain and choose wisely.

DO Take Advantage Of A Rain Storm!

Throw on the ponchos and take an adventure into a local park during a heavy rainstorm. No one else will be around, and you’ll be able to splash around without worrying about anyone coming along! Ponchos aren’t inherently sexy, of course, but they allow easy access and will add sexy humor to your adventure!

DON’T Leave Anything Behind

Follow the golden rules of backpacking and leave no trace. Don’t leave used condoms or any other trash behind. As they say, leave only footprints and take only (very exciting) memories!

DO Explore Private Land

The safest kind of outdoor sex is on private land without any neighbors in site. If you and your lover really want to explore outdoor sex with less risk, find a bed and breakfast or hotel with lots of acreage. If you do get caught, you may get tossed out of the hotel but you probably won’t get arrested. Even better? Make friends with someone who owns land and is willing to turn a blind eye to your outdoor escapades!

This episode is an encore presentation of Speaking of Sex episode #041,  Outdoor Sex

Stress Free Travel Tips

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Here’s an encore episode from the archives that is all about stress free travel tips. Learn how to minimize stress so you can get on with having more fun. Summer travel is a perfect opportunity to renew romance and have great vacation sex – but only if you aren’t fighting while on vacation! These communication strategies work well on vacation and in real life – so put them into practice and let go of all the extra stress and fighting. You’ll make more room for pleasure, connection and yes, more frequent sex!

This is an encore of episode #121, Fight Free Travel

The Story Of Us

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Here’s an exercise from couples therapy that activates the power of storytelling to create a happier, more resilient relationship. The Story of Us is a couple’s therapy exercise developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman at the Gottman Institute and is used to create a healthier and more inspiring story about your relationship – as well as to reveal vulnerabilities that may need special attention.

In this episode, we cover:

  • What is “The Story of Us” and why it matter
  • Why couples therapists use “The Story of Us” to reveal couple’s strengths and vulnerabilities
  • How to communicate with more love, generosity and empathy
  • Why stories matter, and how to tell a better story about your relationship
  • How to become the author of your own Story of Us

Here are a few questions to get your conversations started:

  • How did you meet?
  • What drew you to one another?
  • What have you been through together?
  • What are the greatest challenges you have faced together?
  • What are your shared values?
  • Where are you headed in life together?

The story you weave about who you are as a couple plays itself out – you are both writing and acting out the script simultaneously. 

As you become more aware of weaving “The Story of Us” always remember that your story is still being written! Every day is a new moment in your story, as individuals and as a couple. So don’t pretend to know one another too well, as you are both always becoming new people.

As you speak to one another and about your relationship, be on the lookout for the phrases “always” and “never” – these phrases lock us into narrow scripts and can create defensiveness in communication. Instead, acknowledge the patterns and focus on your shared values and intentions as a couple. 

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