Pleasure Mechanics

Understanding Sexual Shame

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Understanding Sexual Shame, an interview with Rahim Thawer

In this episode we dive into the complex terrain of sexual shame, and explore coming into a more compassionate relationship with shame. In conversation with therapist, social worker and thought leader Rahim Thawer, we talk about the social experience of shame, the ways we protect and defend against the experience of shame, and how we can create pathways towards more pleasure and joy.

Visit PleasureMechanics.com/Shame for curated resources on sexual shame

Thanks to our episode sponsors for being part of our global team of Pleasure Partners:

Interview Guest Rahim Thawer

Continue the conversation with Rahim Thawer’s amazing three part essay about sexual shame:

Ready to explore more shame-slaying, fear-busting, doubt-dissolving resources? Join the Pleasure Pod, show your support for the show, and unlock members only resources!

Cool It Down

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Sometimes instead of heating it up and throwing more gas on the fires of arousal, we need to chill out and cool it down. Cool down is an essential part of the pleasure cycle that we don’t often pay attention to or develop skills around – so sometimes cooling down can feel more like throwing a cold bucket of water on a roaring fire. How do we cool down and yet stay in connection, and keep our embers burning so we can warm it up again when the time is right?

In this podcast episode, we explore cooling down erotic charge in all sorts of moments – after great sex and the afterglow, during sex in moments of overwhelm, when sex needs to be paused or a change is needed, and even relationally when the fires of an intense erotic connection need to be cooled down.

Thanks to our episode sponsors for being part of our global team of Pleasure Partners:

Ready to master the art of erotic touch and lavish your lover with pleasure?

Click here to enroll in Erotic Touch Mastery, our two bestselling courses in one bundle!

Continue The Conversation: Speaking Of Sex Episodes

Just Hold Me : The Erotic Power of Holding Still

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Just hold me! Sometimes, just being held in full loving presence is exactly what is needed. In this episode we explore the erotic power of holding and being held, holding still, self-holds, a pause during arousal, holding one another in a long hug, and even holding one another in compassionate conversation or quiet presence!

Being held is a deep luxury that we can all experience and generate for ourselves and one another. In this episode we share lots of practical strategies and explorations so you can feel more held, hold the people you love in more exquisite attention, and generate the boundless pleasure, joy and connection that comes from the simple act of holding.

Be held! And behold the power of holding!

Thanks to our episode sponsors for being part of our global team of Pleasure Partners:

Continue The Conversation: Speaking Of Sex Episodes

Ready to master the art of erotic touch and lavish your lover with pleasure?

Click here to enroll in Erotic Touch Mastery, our two bestselling courses in one bundle!

Ritualizing Romance

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“I want more romance” and “I want more romantic sex” are themes in many of the emails we receive from our listeners, and while the yearning for “more romance” is so common, what each individual means by this phrase and what it would look like to experience “more romance” is wildly and wonderfully unique to each of us.

When we talk about “romance” with our global community, we learn how specific, personal and culturally laden the experience, desire and appetite for romance is to us individual humans. And yet we also notice the deeply human desires to feel seen, cherished and connected.

Valentine’s Day is a day filled with ritualized romance – but it is not our only opportunity to ritualize romance in order to feel, express and celebrate romance more fully!

In this episode we explore what it means to ritualize romance, cultural scripts of romance, and how to create your own personal and meaningful romantic rituals.

Thanks to our episode sponsors for being part of our global team of Pleasure Partners:

When exploring our personal relationships to the notion of “romance” it is essential that we get off script about romance and start getting specific about what feels most romantic to us as individual erotic beings, at this stage in our life. Here are some questions that may bring up meaningful insights into your own relationship with “romance”

  • What emotional acts or gestures feel romantic to you?
  • Of your (sub)culture’s romantic scripts, which ones turn you on, and are there any that turn you off?
  • Is romance even something you want? If so, how much?
  • What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?
  • When you think of a “romantic date” what sensual details emerge?
  • Are sex and romance connected for you?
  • Do you have romantic friendships? How do you express your emotional intimacy and closeness with non-sexual partners?
  • Is there anything you do for yourself that feels romantic?
  • What acts of self-romance might you choose to experience more of?
  • What feels most romantic, to you?
  • What would a more romantic relationship look and feel like?
  • How do you want to get more romantic in expressing how you feel to those you love?

Here are curated resources for you to explore romance, getting more romantic, making sex more romantic, and experiencing more romance in your life.

Resources On Romance and Romantic Relationships

Our #1 recommendation if you are ready to deepen your experience of intimacy and relationship is our friend and mentor Dr. Alexandra Solomon’s online course, INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS 101. We are enrolled students and this course has both guided us through a tough season and deepened our relational skills and experience of romance – even after 15 years as erotic educators! We can’t recommend this course highly enough! This course is a deep dive and will give you a comprehensive foundation in the skills of relational and sexual self-awareness— the skills you need to create a thriving and healthy intimate partnership. Enroll here, a discount is built right into the link for members of the Pleasure Mechanics community.

Speaking of Sex Episodes About Romance, Romantic Sex & Love Languages

Romance

What feels most romantic, to you? What would a more romantic relationship look and feel like? How do you want to get more romantic? When thinking about romance, it is essential that we get off script about romance and start getting specific about what feels most romantic to us as individual erotic beings, at this stage in our life.

Here are curated resources for you to explore romance, getting more romantic, making sex more romantic, and experiencing more romance in your life.

Resources On Romance and Romantic Relationships

Our #1 recommendation if you are ready to deepen your experience of intimacy and relationship is our friend and mentor Dr. Alexandra Solomon’s online course, INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS 101. We are enrolled students and this course has both guided us through a tough season and deepened our relational skills and experience of romance – even after 15 years as erotic educators! We can’t recommend this course highly enough! This course is a deep dive and will give you a comprehensive foundation in the skills of relational and sexual self-awareness— the skills you need to create a thriving and healthy intimate partnership. Enroll in INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS 101 here.

Speaking of Sex Episodes About Romance, Romantic Sex & Love Languages