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With Love, Gratitude and Deep Respect: Closing Out 2018

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As we all head towards the end of 2018, we sign off for a holiday break, announce our end of the year sale and reflect on our recent time at the Zen monastery. 

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All of our online courses are 33% with the code JOY until the end of 2018

Join us on our Patreon at Patreon.com/PleasureMechanics

Cheers all! We will be back with our weekly episodes, posted every Friday, in 2019. 

The Sexy Side Of Sensory Nerve Endings

The Anatomy of Pleasure : The Sexy Side of Sensory Nerve Endings

To fully explore your capacity for sensual and sexual pleasure, it is useful to know a little bit about how pleasure works in our body. Our anatomy is an intricate, awe-inspiring feat of chemistry and physics, and serves as a useful roadmap to the experiences we crave.

Pleasure begins with a stimulus, and ends with a response, a full body reaction that our system perceives experiences as pleasure. The stimulus can be from any of the five senses – sight, smell, sound, touch or taste. It can even be the thought of pleasure – we humans are so hardwired for pleasure that a thought alone can trigger powerful physical responses.

Your sensory nerves cover your entire body, inside and out, providing the brain with constant information about both the external and internal environment. The densest concentrations of nerve endings are found in the fingertips, lips, clitoris, penis and anus. There are four kinds of sensory nerves in the skin – some detect tiny vibrations on the surface of the skin, others detect deeper pressure. There are even specialized nerve endings to detect changes in temperature. All senses are highly specialized variations of touch sensors: the sensory nerves in your ears, for example, are tiny filaments that respond to the vibration of sound waves.

Each nerve ending has a “threshold” for stimulation – at a certain point (of vibration, pressure, heat, etc) the nerve will fire, creating an electrical impulse that travels up the nerve axon. When it reaches the end of the nerve fiber, a chemical reaction “jumps” across the space (synapse) to the next nerve ending, where the impulse again travels up that nerve fiber, and so on until the signal reaches the brain. These signals travel through our body at up to 250 miles per hour, so you feel stimulation on your toe within a tiny fraction of a second.

Our sensory nerves are constantly firing, providing our brain with valuable information about our surroundings, our activities and other sensory inputs. It is astonishing that our brain handles so much information, constantly throughout the day, and we barely notice this process going on.

Sensory nerves raise the threshold for firing when there is a consistent, steady input of sensation. This is why you don’t notice the clothes you are wearing most of the time – but if a wrinkle forms in your pants and it stimulates your skin in a new way, you’ll notice.

This is true as well for repeated stimulation in massage and sex – if you do the same thing over and over, exactly the same way, the person you are touching will begin feeling it less. Repetition feels good- you can get into a trancelike rhythm of sensation that can be relaxing and arousing. But variation keeps things fresh and unexpected. As in music, repetition with variation creates the most pleasurable outcome.

The more we learn and discover what our bodies are capable of, the more we can feel at home in our sexuality and desires, and know how to create profoundly pleasurable sex for all involved! If you are interested in exploring the Pleasure Mechanics strategies and techniques for maximum pleasure, get started for free with our Erotic Essentials course.

Slow Down For Better Sex

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Slow Down!

That’s some of the best sex advice we can give you. But of course – it is simple but not always easy.

Slowing down in the erotic realm is an essential step to have better sex and enjoy your authentic sexuality.

Our sex culture is FAST – fast hookups, fast arousal, fast intercourse, fast orgasms. We all rush through life in general, and sadly this includes rushing through sex.

Rushing into sex, rushing through sex, refusing to slow down and enjoy the sexual encounter: these are all outcomes of our culture of sexual scarcity, shame and fear. Sometimes we rush through sex as if we are committing a crime and need to flee as soon as possible. Sometimes we rush as if we are children masturbating in secret, afraid of getting caught. Sometimes we rush so we don’t have to feel all of our feelings. Sometimes we rush just to get it over with, cause the sex isn’t that great anyway.

Sigh.
We can do better.

In this episode, we talk about all the different levels of slowing down sex – from seducing your partner to how you touch their entire body – and how slowing down creates the opportunity to not only feel way more pleasure, but also clear some of the anxiety and shame that burdens you.

 

 

This episode is sponsored by our friends at GetMaude.com – where you can create a customized kit of modern sex essentials. Use the code PLEASURE for 15% off your order

Bisexual and Already Married

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What happens when you realize that you are bisexual – after you are already happily married?

In this episode we explore the complex emotional terrain of coming out to yourself as bisexual – when you are already married.

Thanks to GetMaude.com for sponsoring this episode and making independent sex podcasting possible. Build your own kit of modern sex essentials at GetMaude.com and use the code PLEASURE for 15% off your order.

Dual Control Model of Arousal

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Dual Control Model of Arousal Free Podcast Interview

This episode covers one of the most important frameworks for understanding the human sexual experience: the dual control model of arousal.

Get ready to rethink everything you know about getting turned on – and what is really holding you back from enjoying more sex.

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Developed in the 1990’s at the Kinsey Institute by Erick Janssen and John Bancroft and explored in Emily Nagoski’s book, Come As You Are, the Dual Control Model of Arousal is a framework to understand the very complicated nature of human arousal and sexual excitation.

For anyone new to this theory, also check out our interviews with Emily Nagoski about the dual control model of arousal (and SO much more!) in podcast episodes 79 and 80.

When you embrace the dual control model of arousal, it puts you in the driver’s seat. You can learn to manage your turn ons and turn offs to create a more arousing erotic experience every time. As Nagoski says, you can learn to “turn on your turn ons and turn off your turn offs!”

Your turn ons are the gas pedal for your arousal. Your turn offs are the inhibitions that slam the brakes on your arousal. Most people focus on adding more gas – but this won’t work if your foot is slammed on the brake!

Both the Sexual Excitation System (the gas) and the Sexual Inhibition System (the brakes) respond to all sensual stimuli, your thoughts, fantasies and emotions. That means essentially EVERYTHING going on in your life will influence how easy or difficult it is to get turned on. Common inhibitions include stress, resent, guilt, shame and everyday distractions like laundry in the corner. Sensitive brake, no matter how strong the accelerator, is strongest predictor of sexual problems of all kinds. Learn what your specific inhibitions are and you can more easily manage them, paving the way for more arousal and a better sexual connection. You can also learn how to avoid “arousal contingency,” a common condition where everything must be “just perfect” before you allow yourself to get aroused. Arousal contingency is a big problem for a lot of people, but it can be overcome with the right mindset.

In this podcast, we share with you the dual control model of arousal and guide you in learning how to manage your sexual experience. Instead of waiting for the perfect moment to arise, you can actively design your life to be more conducive to getting aroused. You can minimize distractions, eliminate active turn offs and add in more of what works for you!

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