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Multiple orgasms, squirting orgasms, clitoral orgasms, oh my! We break down the complexity of orgasms and demystify all the hype about different types of orgasms.
A listener wrote in wanting to know more about female multiple orgasms. After listening to our podcast and deepening their sexual intimacy, he and his wife were experiencing new levels of pleasure and orgasm and wanted to know what exactly was going on.
Specifically, his question was about female ejaculation (a.k.a. “squirting”) and if multiple female ejaculations count as multiple orgasms. And, if his wife could have multiple ejaculatory orgasms, why did she feel “done” after one clitoral orgasm?
There is a lot of confusion out there about different “types” of orgasms. Clitoral orgasms, g-spot orgasms, a-spot orgasms, vaginal orgasms, cervical orgasms, anal orgasms, blended orgasms, multiple orgasms, squirting orgasms… and many sex educators will tell you that one type or another is better or more intense than another. All of this confusion and focus on creating a hierarchy of orgasms doesn’t serve anyone!
In this episode, we share a new perspective on orgasm and how to slowly expand your erotic capacity without worrying about different types of orgasms or which is better than another. Orgasm is all about pleasure, release and connection – so it is up to you to explore what your body is capable of at this moment, and to give yourself permission to explore what you want to experience next.
To explore the full potential of your sexual system, it helps to master the art of erotic touch. Check out our Foreplay Mastery Online Course to be guided, stroke by stroke, in our proven techniques to maximize orgasmic pleasure.
Transcript for Speaking of Sex Podcast Episode 298: Expanding Orgasmic Capacity
Many of our transcripts are AI generated and thus may not be 100% accurate. We are working towards (well-paid) human editors for every transcript, but for now hope these transcripts help with accessibility, search and engagement for all of our listeners.
Podcast Transcript For Episode #462: Getting Intimate While Bleeding
[00:00:00] Chris Maxwell Rose: Welcome to Speaking of Sex With the Pleasure Mechanics. I’m Chris. I’m Charlotte. We are the Pleasure Mechanics, and on this podcast we have raw, honest, explicit conversations about sex, pleasure, and the joy of connection. Come on over to pleasure mechanics.com where you will find all of the resources we have been lovingly generating for you since 2000 and.
[00:00:30] When we launched Pleasure Mechanics on our first Valentine’s Day together, um, we met in the halls of sexological body work training way back in the day, and we fell in love through and with this work. Hmm, with the questions of how do we share the gifts that we were learning. Students in the time in San Francisco, in the lineage of erotic massage.
[00:00:58] And that lineage is all about honoring the body, showing up for the full body and exploring what is erotically possible, uh, what her bodies are capable of, and really kind of re mystifying, falling back in love with the beauty and mystery and. Animal body of our bodies. Mm. Right. And on today’s episode, we’re gonna be talking about something that the body does, um, as a matter of natural course, right?
[00:01:31] It’s just part of what some of our bodies do some of the time. And it’s a place where we have so much cultural baggage and taboo, and not just cultural, like intergenerational historical taboo. Still with us in our bedrooms, in our play spaces, in how we treat our own and one another’s bodies. And it’s one of these places that as we confront it together, we might be kind of stunned by how much other people’s stories and opinions and cultural and religious taboo right, and control of our bodies, um, Interferes with our ability to have our own relationship with these bodies of ours and to come to our own conclusions about what we want to do with our bodies and let alone treat one another’s bodies with just like kindness and compassion and like awe and reverence maybe, right?
[00:02:32] Like we’re going for the awe and reverence around the body, but like, what if we can just get to the place of like kindness and compassion and not shaming one another. So all of that is to say we are about to have a conversation about sex while bleeding. About menstruation, about period sex, um, and about all of the different ways we can talk about this, engage with it, but come to our own conclusions,
[00:03:00] Charlotte Mia Rose: right?
[00:03:00] This is one of these places that we have inherited beliefs that we may not even realize that we have all of them, and this is the case with all of sex. But this subject is really particular and we can almost see those inherited ancestral beliefs more clearly. And so it’s a really interesting, important place to examine what do we actually think as individuals Now, at this point in your life, how do you want to relate to blood and bleeding people, whether you are a lover of them or whether you yourself bleed.
[00:03:37] I feel like it’s. We just wanna bring it up as a point of thought to explore and to just make sure we are like updating our inner files and making sure that our values are aligned with our actions and how we are treating each other’s bodies or our own.
[00:03:55] Chris Maxwell Rose: Well, and so when we talk about the intergenerational historical nature of this, right, like humans have had to answer this question of what do we do with these bodies that bleed sometimes, right?
[00:04:06] Like roughly half of human bodies bleed roughly once a month. And even as I say that, there’s so much variety within that, and we’re gonna just keep naming. Spectrums and ranges. And so when we talk about bleeding, like we’re going to move away from a language of like the monthly period that women have, right?
[00:04:24] Because that’s actually old data and it’s just not true. Right? The easiest way to talk about it is that some bodies bleed some of the time right through and we’re. Talking specifically here about, you know, pelvic bleeding, about menstrual bleeding, um, but this will bring up our relationship to blood itself and all of our bodies bleed and we all have a relationship to this.
[00:04:50] Right. I remember the first time I found like menstrual products in a gay man’s house, and I was so honored by that, that they have a relationship with people who bleed. Therefore, they provide, you know, services and convenience for it. And so when we talk about that intergenerational historical nature of this, this takes us all the way back to like our very primal roots as nomadic tribes of bodies wandering and surviving together, right?
[00:05:20] And if by our biological nature and like. Different animals have menstrual cycles, different numbers of times per years for humans. It’s quite frequent, uh, for a very long time in some of our lives, right? Like it’s decades of monthly cycles. So this is something that we as humans, Have a long history with and different cultures in different environments and atmospheres, right?
[00:05:51] And this is one of those places I can geek out forever. Like how do you deal with blood differently in a rainforest than a tundra, for example? Um, when there are predators around, That you have to be concerned about. What are the technologies where we actually keep bleeding bodies safe? And this is one of those things that blew my mind as a college student studying the anthropology of some of this, right?
[00:06:16] Like we can look at with a certain gaze, like something like a cage up in a tree for menstruating bodies and be horrified. Like they caged up women that, or they were creating an. Sleeping and safety space for people who are menstruating to relax at night while being provided for by the rest of the people.
[00:06:38] Right? Like that’s a really different story. And every culture has different stories around how they deal with blood and menstruation and honoring the bodies that bleed. We are in a culture now that has a very confused shame-based amalgam. Thousands of years of cultural and religious taboos around this that most of us have then embodied and inhabited through episodes of bullying and shame and this kind of vague cultural shame around this subject that’s not so vague at all, really.
[00:07:14] As I say that like most people listening to this now in 2023, um, who grew up in a certain like. Culture where you’re listening to this podcast like, yeah, most of us have a certain like trauma around. Menstruation and blood. And then this is expressed in our individual personal conversations around sexuality and it can feel really personal.
[00:07:39] But I just wanna honor that like thousands of years of history here that we’re all inheriting in different ways. Like what did you learn from your parents and grandparents and friends at school and you know, were you ever bullied around this? Um, and how does that affect how you deal now with sex while bleeding?
[00:07:58] Charlotte Mia Rose: I just wanna un so much there. I just wanna summarize thank and highlight and, um, a few of the pieces that I think are really relevant. So like how we deal today with how our feelings and actions around how we have sex with somebody who is bleeding can be deeply impacted by thousands of years of history where.
[00:08:21] People’s relationship to bleeding bodies were navigated around safety of blood being in nature, and that drawing predators, and without having showers, we now live in a world where we have showers and there are no predators that are coming.
[00:08:37] Chris Maxwell Rose: Okay. But in between those two points, yeah. Is a lot is thousands of years of patriarchal control.
[00:08:44] Of reproducing bodies. Right. Like we can’t ignore that either. Absolutely. And what blood meant and how it was used to control and shame bodies, right? Yeah. And like what the presence or absence of a menstrual cycle. Was imposed like that, imposed meaning of that on certain bodies and the, the, I mean the biosocial cultural financial repercussions of this.
[00:09:10] Like, we cannot underestimate this. Yeah. And the more we’re actually talking about it, like I’m just, we have to excavate this. And come to some different relationship with how we think and embody this truth today now. And so all of this is coming to a head first off, and cuz it’s amazing, you know, we’ve done 400 and some episodes and we’ve never really covered this even though it’s something that so many of us deal with like on a regular basis.
[00:09:39] Yeah. And we’ve done episodes about a lot of pretty out there things. And so in some ways there’s even an avoidance from. And I think this is the baseline strategy for a lot of people. It’s an avoidance of the topic, and for me, like I was meant to feel like it was like a burden or gross enough that at least you keep it private, right?
[00:09:59] Like you deal with it on your own. You learn how to slip a tampon up the sleeve of your shirt so no one sees you carrying it. Like you learn these strategies of privacy and secrecy. And see. Yes. Yes. And it’s like something you manage. It’s like kind of like a gross body function that you manage discreetly and privately as possible.
[00:10:21] And if you bleed on someone’s sheets, you apologize profusely and replace the sheets. And it’s right, like. Even I as a sex educator had kind of embodied this level of like avoidance and management up until I think the process where we were trying to get pregnant and that like changed our relationship with it right into one of, and again, how many stories we all carry about these things, like the years of our lives where the presence of a period meant grief.
[00:10:53] Yeah, a whole cycle of grief to be managed navigated. Mm-hmm. Right. So we weren’t eroticizing that shit. Um, and so then recently, like only in these recent years of my life, as we have opened up our relationship and I’m having sex with new and especially cis male partners, The way they have responded to my menstruation has been so revealing of so many different attitudes and stories we all carry and what they trigger in me.
[00:11:26] And I’ve had some like real deep shame triggered when like my period was treated as something that meant I was untouchable. Mm. And sometimes this intersects with really well-planned dates and a lot of sexual excitement, anticipation. And then, wow, my body’s bleeding. And that all of a sudden means something has come in between us and these sexual plans.
[00:11:48] And I wanna just ask all of us to kind of examine like, how do we think about this approach, this manage this? What is the relationship and story we have with our own bleeding bodies? Right. And again, the range there because some people bleed and it’s not a huge interference in their life. Other people, it’s like a major medical thing to manage every month.
[00:12:10] Some people almost never stop bleeding because of various conditions, right? And hormonal complications. Some people never bleed because they use an I U D that interferes with the cycle, or they’re post bleeding, or they never started bleeding in the first.
[00:12:27] Charlotte Mia Rose: Right there is an enormous range of how people who are bleeding experience their own situation with blood.
[00:12:36] Um, and there can be an enormous range within one cycle for one person. And then a huge range between cycles, like it is so changeable. And so this is where like deep communication and nuanced communication is essential and kind of complicated. Like it’s a deep, it’s a skillset to be able to navigate. Um, The conversation.
[00:13:02] First of all, we need to examine our own preferences and how we feel about blood and what we feel up for. Do we have like aversion? Do we have like a neutral willingness or do we have like desire to be up in the blood, right? People are gonna have an enormous reign. Some people wanna like, You know, take the blood and put it all over bodies and like have it be like an art ceremony.
[00:13:24] You know, other people are like, I don’t wanna be around it at all. Yeah. So like, all of this is normal.
[00:13:29]
[00:13:29] Chris Maxwell Rose: Well wait, wait, we need to really name this range for people. Yeah, because like your, again, your relationship to blood, like the, it has all these cultural implications about menstruation, but also to the blood itself.
[00:13:46] And some people, as you said, are deeply attracted to it and it almost triggers like a primal thirstiness, hunger eroticism and other people. It’s aversion to the point of w retching, right? Uhhuh. And that spectrum is just part of, again, the human spectrum of response to any one thing that we try to honor on this podcast and in all we do here at Pleasure Mechanics, so we can come to these conversations.
[00:14:14] About sex while bleeding. Right? Like with that whole range accounted for. Right?
[00:14:21]
[00:14:21] Chris Maxwell Rose: And
[00:14:26] Charlotte Mia Rose: what I wanna encourage people to think about is you are allowed to have your preferences. Yes. Always and forever, right? But like, let’s look at the meaning. That we’re making around the blood and like let’s assess if what you are feeling and the stories you’re telling about blood are actually true or current, or are they like what you have been told about peop blood over time, through your family, through your religion, through whatever influence you’ve had.
[00:14:55] And I think that’s the important part. Always want you to have your preference, but like, let’s assess, um, the stories that we’re telling about them and what that makes possible Erotically or in terms of being with a body.
[00:15:07] Chris Maxwell Rose: Yeah. And it’s like any process, like when we’re excavating shame when we’re going through this.
[00:15:11] Like what is mine? What is historical? Yeah. What is cultural? Like, how do we have preferences within this miasma of culture? Right. These are all really big questions, but it’s like at least we open it up. Yeah. Sort through it, look at it and we can start having some clarity. Mm-hmm. Right. And so this all came to a head for me recently where I had a week planned where I could have like as much sex as I wanted with one of my sex partners for a whole week, cuz oh my God, they were in a hotel nearby and this was gonna be amazing.
[00:15:38] And then I was bleeding the whole five days and the way it was managed and treated like almost ended our relationship. Mm-hmm. Because not only did he have his preferences, which was no sex while bleeding, but the way he expressed it, like shamed and controlled my body in these kind of subtle ways that then became not so subtle to me.
[00:16:01] And like your preferences get to be your preferences, but we don’t get to shame one another. We can have our preferences with kind. And this is a place where it’s like so many dates have been like, well, sex on the period is okay as long as it doesn’t look like a war scene afterwards. And they start comparing menstruation, blood with violence.
[00:16:22] Charlotte Mia Rose: And you’ve had multiple people say that line. Many. Which is an interesting Yeah. Point that like it’s a cultural enough idea that men, as long as it doesn’t look like a murder scene. Right. Like the exact same line. Yeah. So that is a cultural idea that blood equates to violence, right? This blood is not violent blood, this is not from violence.
[00:16:43] And so like, let’s, let’s detach that.
[00:16:46] Chris Maxwell Rose: Quite the opposite, right? And like how offensive that is towards my body. And its like cycles and its expression of itself and like what it does to keep itself like. Balanced, right? It’s like we all take shits. We all pee, we all eat. Like we have functions that happen within our bodies.
[00:17:06] And yeah, this is just a place where it’s like you can express your preferences and navigate boundaries and practice shame-free communication. And that’s, it starts with yourself, like, how do you think about this? And like I just try to have a lot of compassion with it because like none of these guys are trying to shame me.
[00:17:27] Yeah. They all cherish me and I feel that, but it’s like, They haven’t learned how to be revent and cherish the human body itself. And very few of us have, right?
[00:17:38] Charlotte Mia Rose: Well, there’s like reverence, but then before that it’s just basic respect because like this is an important and valuable process and. So you don’t have to like fall madly in love with menstrual blood, but you can respect that.
[00:17:53] It’s a really important thing that happens in the body and it’s just part of being human and it’s part of, yeah. Yeah. And so how do we just like kind of neutralize it a little bit and just be with it as like part of the body and getting more comfortable with accepting bodies as they
[00:18:11] Chris Maxwell Rose: are. Right, because bodies have all sorts of expressions, right?
[00:18:14] And like that might be nausea, that might be pain, that might be cancer, that might be right. Like our bodies go through all of these things and we can’t shame and desexualize one another. We have to have alternative responses, right? And so one of the best responses that I’ve received in this moment of like, oh shit, we have a day planned, but now I’m bleeding, is like, what do you need, babe?
[00:18:39] Like so beautiful. Are you comfortable? Are you in any pain? Like how are you feeling? Bringing our communication back to empathy and compassion and curiosity about one another’s experiences
[00:18:53] Charlotte Mia Rose: and Didn’t that person say, do you need a hot water bottle? Like how fucking cute
[00:18:58] Chris Maxwell Rose: is that? Totally. But it’s like, do you need a hot water bottle or do you need to be railed?
[00:19:02] Because I’m here for either one. Right. And it’s like, Accepting that different people have different responses, and especially like within different days of the cycle, within different cycles within, you know, just how your body is feeling. So we’re gonna take a moment and thank the sponsor for this episode.
[00:19:20] But when we come back, I really want to paint the picture that it doesn’t have to be, again, these firm binary boundaries of your into period sex or your not. Like how do we get more curious about the ways we tend to, and pleasure and enjoy. Maybe one another’s bodies and our own bodies at every point in our cycles, right?
[00:19:45] Like our bodies may need different things at different times. And so how do we have that conversation of like, what does your body need right now to feel loved and cherished and pleasured and supported? Right. We wanna take a minute and thank our sponsor for this episode, dipsy stories.com. Dipsy is an app full of erotica, short stories, sexy, soundscapes, and even.
[00:20:15] Moments of beautiful, calm, serene, pleasurable bliss to let you drift off, to sleep, to the sound of a lover turning the pages of their book next to you. It’s that kind of inclusion that makes me want to explore dipsy and see what else they have in store for us. Every time I go on the app, I have a different, exciting, arousing, inspiring kind of experie.
[00:20:42] I really love the first person stories where a lover is talking directly to you. I think this is one of the easiest ways to explore new erotic energies and attitudes to see what turns you on. But recently, I’ve been enjoying the sounds, scapes more for this like relaxing background. That I can fantasize within.
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[00:21:43] That’s pleasure mechanics.com/toolbox for all of the offers from our sponsors and some of our favorite sex toys and tools to get you equipped for the adventure. All right, thanks, Dipsy. And back to this conversation about period sex. I know it’s a little messy and all over the place. Ha ha ha. I haven’t slipped not nearly enough period puns into those episodes, so I’ll, I’ll get on that.
[00:22:11] Um, But it’s just this reality, right? It’s like, it’s this thing that happens to somebodies some of the time. We don’t really have control over. Its like duration or timing or frequency. Um, it can come during the sexiest laid plans and. It can be a real range in people from like, I need to curl fetal in bed with a hot water bottle to I wanna get plowed reamed and make menstrual art to, you know, worship my pagan god’s with.
[00:22:41] Right? Like we have a huge range of experiences here, and so the only response. As in so much of sexuality, like the only response we can offer is to get curious about what your experiences and how that overlaps with the bodies that you’re lying next to. Mm-hmm. And this could be your roommate, your lover, your wife, your best friend.
[00:23:06] Like we all have relationships with bleeding bodies. Right. And how we engage with. Matters and we can subtly be shaming and comparing it with violence. Or we can also be like very overtly supporting and showing compassion and love and curiosity about one another’s bodies.
[00:23:26] Charlotte Mia Rose: Yeah. And what we say and how we act about these things in small moments throughout life and in those big charged moments of sex has an impact on people.
[00:23:35] Huge. It can create a sense of safety and deep acceptance and. Integration of genitals and full body ness, or it can feel shaming and embarrassing and contributes to that storyline. And so what you say and how you act does have an impact. Yeah. And so let’s like just bring some attention and see, see what we wanna choose there.
[00:24:00] But we were talking earlier about the range people were having within their experience of bleeding. And this is why it gets a little complicated because some people, Not be interested at all in, in, in any kind of sex on day two of their period, but like day four would be totally up for it. Other people want to have sex cuz they’re having intense pain and cramping.
[00:24:22] And the uterine cramps of orgasm can be really mm-hmm. Like relieving. Mm-hmm. Um, so everyone’s so, so, so different.
[00:24:30] Chris Maxwell Rose: And as a lover, right. Some people might be really into blood and totally up for like oral sex while bleeding and be so, Honored or turned on by that. Other people, it’s like, no, I don’t wanna drink blood, but I don’t mind touching it or putting a condom on and having intercourse or using a toy.
[00:24:49] Right. Using your hands. These, when we say like, having sexual repertoires means we can have more sex, we really mean that. Yeah, literally. Right? Yeah. Like, and one of the big disappointments with this lover in the hotel was like, he shut it all down because intercourse off the table and oral sex, which is like our main go-tos.
[00:25:08] It’s what we do really well together. I love it. Yeah. But like it showed that we, in a, I got really like mad at myself that we didn’t have that range, that my needs could be taken care of while respecting his boundaries. Right. And to like approach it in that team way of like, what do you need right now?
[00:25:26] What can I offer? What’s off the table for me? Like we all get respected here and it might be that your sex intimacy during period means it’s the time you like binge on Netflix and eat lots of yummy snacks and give each other foot massage under the cozy covers and cuddle a lot. And you both look forward to that in the month.
[00:25:47] Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm. Um, and it’s like a time of like cozying down and taking care of one another. Um, you might discover in this conversation, Both actually get really horny during bleeding and you buy waterproof blankets and get ready for splash time, right? Like we all will have a different relationship and it’s all valid.
[00:26:07] And what we also can notice is as we have this conversation with self-compassion, this kind of historical curiosity of like, why do I think the way, I think both self histories, like what happened in gym class when you were bleeding. How was that treated at your school? How did your first lovers like, we were having this conversation and Charlotte was like, oh, holy shit.
[00:26:31] No wonder I’ve had an easy time with. Right.
[00:26:34] Charlotte Mia Rose: I’ve only had lovers who have been very supportive and I was remembering I hadn’t actually forgotten this first. Nice for you. I know. Sorry, sorry. Um, but I’m not sorry, but not everyone has had that experience. But my first ex sexual experience was ever, ever was somebody going down on me while I had my period on the rooftops rooftop of London.
[00:26:52] Yeah. It was a teenager. So it was like, it just sort of started off being accepted and I think that really helped me And you like at a dramatic level school. And though somebody was bleeding at school once and they’ve just covered it up and it was less of an issue. There wasn’t so much blaming, but like people are still doing art projects about wearing clothes that are bleeding in public.
[00:27:10] Like we’re still at that point that it is a big thing. But if you do have. Inhibitions. If you do feel like there are things that get in the way of you wanting to, you’re up for it, but like there’s a mess situation to deal with. There are actions you can take. Like you can become a person that has a black towel at your house that is ready for period
[00:27:29] Chris Maxwell Rose: sex, or all our towels and sheets are bloody.
[00:27:31] Charlotte Mia Rose: Yeah. Or you have, yeah, like a cheaper pair of sheets depending on. What your situation is. Mm-hmm. Or a mattress pad or like splash. There are all these like new things you can buy that you can get super wet and then throw in the, not the dishwasher, the washing machine. Like there’s so many different actions you can take.
[00:27:48] Yeah. So like depending on what your situation is, like you can navigate things and still be accepting and chill.
[00:27:56] Chris Maxwell Rose: And as a lover, right? Like it’s okay to express that you don’t want to do something, and we can do that without shaming or creating like a gross out ick factor about the other person’s body.
[00:28:09] And again, these are things that come up in all sorts of sexual conversations and they’re like advanced. Erotic communication skills, we are inviting us all to aspire towards. Yeah. The ability to have conversations with one another, to the nuance of like what I’m into, what I’m up for, how are you feeling on different days of this.
[00:28:31] Thing that like maybe has historical taboos, like it has a lot of charge around it, this conversation. And so we can like inch towards it. Um, and honor the fact that just by having the conversation, we’re opening up some breathing room to get out of our own like habits rut. And assumptions here, like there’s so many assumptions.
[00:28:55] Like in my tear stained conversation as I was about to leave this lover being like, and you wouldn’t even touch me during my period, you know, he was like, I grew up in a culture where that was just absolutely off the table. I didn’t think any woman would want sex during her period. Like I didn’t even think to ask.
[00:29:14] Charlotte Mia Rose: Right. Well, he thought every woman would like to have cuddles during those five days. Right. And you were. I, I’m not here for the cuddles, but like, that’s not everyone’s situation, right?
[00:29:25] Chris Maxwell Rose: Yes. It’s like, and like we, we did have this conversation eventually, but it was almost like, um, I’m just saying like have compassion, because even I who have like been doing this my whole life am struggling to have this conversation in a way that like I’m realizing there’s so much more body shame.
[00:29:44] I’m carrying that like we don’t even know we have sometimes until you hit up against these things, like I’ve been naked in front of so many people, I’m very. Body positive. I love my pussy and all that it like holds for me, but like I didn’t realize that I was still treating my period as something to be like managed and avoided even though I make menstrual art on my own right.
[00:30:06] And have been doing those. So since I was a kid, like these are not simple conversations for us and we can hit edges of vulnerability that it’s like, whoa, my lovers telling me they’re super into period sex. Like, am I ready to go there? Am I ready to feed my lover, my menstrual blood and pagan ritual rights?
[00:30:24] Like, I don’t know, like, that sounds like a lot and we have to have like humor and compassion around these conversations. But these conversations really matter. They are life-changing conversations. They can shed so much, uh, like kind of shame that we don’t even know that we’re carrying. Yeah. And just open up our relationships with ourself with one another to more.
[00:30:49] Kindness and care and compassion at the end of the day.
[00:30:53] Charlotte Mia Rose: And freedom because once we’re like releasing some of inherited beliefs that we may or may not believe, yeah. Um, we’re leaving a little more space for our own authentic sexuality and. Connection and relationship with eroticism and other people’s bodies and our own to to have some more space.
[00:31:12] And so it’s a valuable and powerful inquiry and we kind of invite you to do your own self inquiry, but also be in conversation with people that you are in relationship with, whether that’s of a sexual nature or not. Like as you said, we are all in relationship with people who bleed, whether that’s friends.
[00:31:31] Um, all lovers and let’s just see if we can create a little more body acceptance and not be prescriptive about what it has to look like. We’re not saying there’s any like sex that you have to have, and it’s like more enlightened to do one or the other. Definitely. We’re really not saying that. We just want to like open up the, the conversation and have you explore it a little
[00:31:49] Chris Maxwell Rose: bit.
[00:31:50] Yeah. And the conversation, as you said, with more than Your lover, because if you talk to your friends about bleeding and how it impacts them, like, you might find out that a few of your friends are also dealing with things like endometriosis or fibroids or, um, you know, like maybe you have something in common there and can support one another and share resources or bring each other snacks when you know you’re hurting, right?
[00:32:15] Mm-hmm. Like, these things don’t have to be invisible and again, Circling way back to the beginning of this episode, one of the legacies of this cultural history we all share is the silencing of anything to do with sexuality or even the pelvis. Yeah, right. Like you might tell your coworkers if you have lung cancer and avoid the conversation if you have prostate.
[00:32:41] Vulva cancer just out of pelvic shame and the silencing there really denies a lot of us. The care and compassion and connection we all need and bleeding. It just became very apparent for me is this thing that happens on repeat for many of us and is a conversation we can continue to have to shed the shame, kind of confront our own relationships with our bodies and how can we bring more compassion and curiosity and care.
[00:33:14] Right. And thank you to all my lovers who have been like absolutely amazing and generous. You know? And you and I, Charlotte, like in just having the preparations for this podcast are realizing like maybe there’s more play between us that’s possible. And so we’ve had this place of acceptance. You know, in our lesbian household where we share menstrual underwear, sometimes, you know, it’s like, oh, you ran out baby here have some of mine.
[00:33:40] Right. And there’s a lot of acceptance and support, but we could eroticize it even further. Right?
[00:33:46] Charlotte Mia Rose: Right. In the conversation I was like, oh, I remember really loving like good information, you know? I was like, oh, but. When you’re with someone all the time, you’re like, well, we can just do it on the other days.
[00:33:56] Anyway, there’s just so much more always to explore and unpack in the world of bodies and sexuality, and we are all on this journey together, but we are trying to create a world of more acceptance, more freedom, more joy, more love. Yeah. And the start one conversation at a time. Yes, one thought inquiry.
[00:34:13] Let’s do
[00:34:13] Chris Maxwell Rose: it together. So much of what we offer you here at Pleasure Mechanics, you’ll find it all@pleasuremechanics.com, where you will find our complete podcast archive or look for us on iTunes or Spotify. Leave a rating or review wherever you listen. It really helps. Out and we will be back with you again with another episode out and check out our online courses.
[00:34:38] You know, cuz we get these emails all the time from folks who have loved the podcast and then are delighted to realize that we have courses to guide you. Stroke by stroke and erotic touch techniques and spanking and kink. If you love the podcast, please check out our courses. They are all waiting for you at pleasure.
[00:34:59] Dot com and I love it when I get the emails that say things like, your Strokes were the phrase book to my wife’s body that I didn’t know I needed. Right. Like those are the kinds of emails I wake up to every day from folks that are in the courses who are having the aha moments and the breakthroughs where they finally get to touch one another in ways that express their love and devotion and passion.
[00:35:27] Um, we love that we can do this work with you from the privacy of your own home, and that is what we have been devoted to is creating online resources. So we can share these aha moments of coming home into our erotic bodies and into that confidence, into the like relaxed confidence. Of a lover who knows how to touch and pleasure the body they love like fuck ya.
[00:35:56] Mm-hmm. It’s all waiting for you@pleasuremechanics.com and keep those emails coming where you can sound off@pleasuremechanics.com slash hello and record a voicemail to be included on future episodes. We love you. Thank you for being with us. I’m Chris. I’m Charlotte. We are the pleasure Mechanics. Wishing you a
[00:36:16] Charlotte Mia Rose: lifetime of
[00:36:17] Chris Maxwell Rose: pleasure.
00:00:00:16 00:00:04:14
Chris Maxwell Rose: Hi, welcome to Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics. I’m Chris.
00:00:04:16 00:01:54:17
Charlotte Mia Rose: I’m Charlotte and we are the Pleasure Mechanics. And on this podcast, we bring you explicit yet soulful conversations about every facet of human sexuality. Come on over to pleasuremechanics.com, where you will find everything we have to offer, including our complete podcast archive and sign up for our free online course. The erotic essentials brings you our foundational philosophy about sex. An actionable strategy is that you can get started with right away to start creating a more fulfilling sex life on your own terms. If you love this show and want to support the work that we’re doing, please come over to patrie on dot com slash pleasure mechanics. That’s p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com/pleasuremechanics, where you can quickly and easily sign up for an ongoing monthly pledge. A dollar a month or five dollars a month will really help support this show. If we all chip in, we can create an ongoing support system for this show so we can keep doing this work and reach far corners of the globe. We just received an email from a man in India who has been loving the podcast and leading a study group about the podcast in what he describes as a rural off the grid village in India. So this work is reaching people all around the world, and together we can create a healthier and happier, more pleasurable sex culture for us all. You are part of that by listening and be part of supporting this mission by coming over to patrie on dot com slash pleasure mechanics and supporting the show with a few bucks a month. It would mean a lot to us.
00:01:55:07 00:02:08:03
Chris Maxwell Rose: All right. On to today’s episode. I received this amazing email and within the email, there’s some praise for what we do. And I love sharing other people’s experience as they listen to this podcast.
00:02:08:16 00:02:24:21
Speaker: And built into this are a lot of questions about orgasms and types of orgasms and multiple orgasms. And so we want to lay out some orgasm wisdom for ya. So Charlotte will get us started by reading the questions submitted by a listener.
00:02:25:08 00:03:11:02
Speaker: Hello. I’m a 46 year old man from Texas. Before I ask my question, I want to thank you so very much for your wonderful podcast. I’ve gone through a transformational change in my last three years, focusing on presence in my life, and that includes the area of sexuality. Your podcast has been a part of the ongoing work I’m doing to live my life as my best self. Discussions you’ve had on your podcast have helped me open pathways and conversations with my wife that have increased our intimacy as well as our erotic pleasure. So from the bottom of my heart and truly the bottom of my soul. Thank you very much for the important work you do that helps so many people, including me.
00:03:12:05 00:03:14:21
Speaker: Thank you now for my question.
00:03:15:25 00:03:27:23
Speaker: My wife is a higher drive libido than me, which we have discussed and now talk about an open. They accept her body is such a beautiful thing and capable of incredible, wonderful things.
00:03:28:08 00:05:28:19
Speaker: One of them is that she is able to squirt. She derives a lot of pleasure from that. That’s a recent discovery that is out of our increased level of intimacy. Sometimes in our lovemaking sessions, she will squirt a food few times to a dozen times. It’s not an all the time, every time thing, but when it does happen, it’s really pleasurable for her and also for me to be a part of her life in those moments and share this experience with her as a giver. Our recent conversation about that led to the discussion of multiple orgasms. But what my wife and I were wondering was when you guys and other sexologist speak about multiple orgasms, you’re talking about clitoral orgasms, anal orgasms or things like squirting included in in the conversation. This is an honest question that neither of us know the answer to. And we were both smiling and laughing as we were trying to figure it out. We’re also very careful to be cautious about caring so much about the answer to this question. The fact is that she likes the way it feels and she’s able to squirt multiple times. And that is a beautiful, incredible thing. And we’re going to continue to enjoy this regardless of the labels. But we’re also wondering if perhaps her body is capable of more than one clitoral orgasm. To date, she says that once she has a clitoral orgasm, she’s done. And I trust her to communicate what she’s feeling and her desires and what she’s capable of. But since we’ve gone through a period of discovery and awakening, she is curious if all this talk about. Thing about women being multi orgasmic is something she’s already experiencing or something she perhaps is capable of via her clitoris that she hasn’t discovered yet. This turned into a really long e-mail. I think when you boil it down, the question is pretty simple. When psychologists talk about female multi orgasmic experience, all they, including these intense moments of squeezing and release, are all they took you about a different kind of orgasm. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, lives and knowledge.
00:05:30:04 00:05:40:23
Speaker: Thank you so much. I love the long version of this and there’s so much in there. So I didn’t want to boil it down, but thank you for summing it up at the end. This is a pro level question. I love it.
00:05:41:11 00:06:12:20
Speaker: So I think this question is such a perfect one because it reveals so much. First, I just want to celebrate that you are being pleasure explorers together. You are in this process of learning new things, getting new ideas, listening to podcasts, doing research, having conversations, laughing and playing with one another’s bodies to discover what you are capable of. This is the key.
00:06:12:21 00:07:36:11
Speaker: This is what I want for all of us. That wherever we are in life, whether or not we’re in a relationship. However, our bodies are presenting at the moment that we can be investigators of our own pleasure capacity. What would feel good to your body right now? If you’re in a relationship, how can you pleasure one another’s bodies? Right now, as is on your own terms. Right. So this couple is now exploring multiple orgasms and squirting ejaculation. But for you right now, your pleasure explorations might be long walks, holding hands and talking. It might be anal play. It might be kink. We’re all at different points in our own erotic journeys. And it all looks different. So I just love the exploratory nature of this relationship and that they’re having fun discovering what they’re capable of. So what I will say about the research that sexology has done into multiple orgasms and female ejaculation and different kinds of orgasms is that science has not and probably will not ever fully map the true capacity of human sexual pleasure, especially not female pleasure.
00:07:37:05 00:08:07:09
Speaker: But I don’t even think men’s is included in there. Like science is not super committed to investigating what is possible erotically what our bodies are capable of. The ecstasy, the joy, the orgasmic release. And even if they were curious about these questions, to study this scientifically in a lab in and of itself puts limits on what they’re seeing, what they’re perceiving, the questions that are asking.
00:08:07:24 00:08:13:20
Speaker: So the scientific answer is they don’t know and probably will never know.
00:08:14:03 00:08:53:24
Speaker: And there’s a lot of different conflicting opinions about are there different kinds of orgasms? The basic scientific definition of an orgasm has nothing to do with body parts. It has nothing to do with the kind of stimulation you’re giving or even the lived experience of that orgasm. So we can define an orgasm as a climactic release of sexual tension, but that orgasm might come from nibbling an ear lobe or triple penetration. And the scientific studies don’t really differentiate nor really investigate the lived experiences of these orgasms. And so it’s up to us.
00:08:54:00 00:09:28:01
Speaker: It’s up to the pleasure of researchers on the ground and in communities like this to start telling each other what is possible to start and mapping it and owning it and investigating what is possible in each of our individual bodies at different times and what we find when we do that research and talk about it openly without shame. Is that much more is possible than anyone ever could imagine. I think we’re not even near discovering the limits of human sexual pleasure capacity.
00:09:29:01 00:09:33:14
Speaker: I hope that we’re, you know, just at the beginning of this process.
00:09:34:04 00:10:15:10
Speaker: But within this email, for example, I would have expected him to say my wife can have multiple clitoral orgasms, but when she squirts, she feels done because that’s the more common narrative than multiple orgasms through clitoral stimulation are very possible. But with a female ejaculation, there is this climactic release and females, like men after ejaculation go into a refractory period. That is a more dominant story. People tell about different kinds of female orgasms. And here we have the flip of that. So multiple female ejaculations, but after a clitoral orgasm, she feels done.
00:10:15:17 00:11:25:22
Speaker: Fascinating. Right. And more data to add to our pot of community wisdom and more information for people who are experiencing different kinds of orgasms. I want to make sense of what they’re experiencing and compared to other people. The other piece I want to really highlight here is that an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm. But orgasms feel different to different people, both in sensation and in intensity at different times. And that can be dependent on the types of tissue you’re stimulating. And so some people named things like clitoral orgasms and g spot orgasms and cervical orgasms and anal orgasm and blended orgasms. And are these categories useful, especially when we consider the clitoris is a deep internal structure. The hood of the clitoris and the glands of the clitoris that you see outside the body is just the tip of the iceberg. And so when we’re doing g spot stimulation, the internal body of the clitoris is being stimulated. So is that a clitoral orgasm? Right.
00:11:27:07 00:12:18:06
Speaker: So you might be feeling it deeper inside your body. But the reality is it’s still stimulating this huge, beautiful erectile tissue that is about the same size as the penis, but it’s inside the body. So you’re seeing like the tip of the penis, which is the clitoris. But all the rest is being stimulated. So people I think there are a lot of kind of hip ideas that you’re focusing on the, you know, eight different kinds of orgasms. And we are of the idea that it is explore your body experiment, try focusing sensation in different parts of your anatomy and see what happens. But we really aren’t concerned about naming them certain kinds of orgasms because pleasure is pleasure, is pleasure and whatever you. Joy is great. And suddenly explode, but we don’t have to get hung up on these ideas of something being better than another or more advanced.
00:12:18:08 00:12:19:19
Speaker: So play, play, play.
00:12:21:11 00:13:14:04
Speaker: Cause another thing people get hung up on is, is female ejaculation a more advanced kind of sexual expression for women? Is female ejaculation more intense and more powerful? And so if I’m not experiencing it. Am I missing out? And this is just a very personal question. And again, the research about female ejaculation is unclear. It’s murky waters, if you will. Some people say that a female ejaculation is primarily urine. Other people say it is fluid builds up in the Perry urethral glands, which some people then named the G spot. It’s an interesting thing when sex educators start promoting ideas of one kind of orgasm being better than another and meaning that you’re more awakened or enlightened, like we want to throw all of that out the window and just say explore what your body is capable of. And some people have pleasurable sex and orgasms for many, many years without ever squirting and then squirt when they least expected. And some people never squirt. And some people love squirting. Other people find it very depleting and it drains them of energy.
00:13:36:05 00:14:36:00
Speaker: Like we need to all be responsible for exploring what our own body is capable of, how it responds to different kinds of stimulation, and what makes you feel good and meets your erotic goals. So with or without ejaculation? Female multiple orgasm is delightful. And I also want to say men are very capable of multiple orgasms, too. And this is a theme we’re going to be exploring in depth in an upcoming project about male sexuality. And we are working right now with a few men all around the world mapping the path to male multiple orgasm and what that experience is like. So this is not just a vulva owning body kind of experience. It’s for all of us. So multiple orgasms do require paying attention to what your body needs. What sets off your refractory period?
00:14:36:01 00:14:48:03
Speaker: So that period of rest and recovery after an orgasm and how you can move from one orgasm to the other in the most pleasurable way for you.
00:14:48:24 00:15:58:18
Speaker: So I am going to just put Charlotte right on the spot cause she is a highly multi orgasmic women. And within our own relationship, we have a difference here when we make love. Charlotte tends to love these cascades of orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. We kind of bring her to a high state of arousal and then suspend her there. And we lose count like we don’t even really focus on who there is an orgasm and there is orgasm. We just kind of ride these peaks and valleys until one of us is done. Sometimes that’s me instead of her. I, on the other hand, love to build arousal and have one big, powerful screaming orgasm. It tends to be big and fierce and volcanic and loud and very loud, but not ejaculatory. When I said volcanic. Yeah. But a huge energetic release. And then I like to just kind of collapse and float in the afterglow. That’s more my style. I can do multiple orgasms, but I tend not to. So to each their own. But what do you think, Charlotte, are the key components for exploring multiple orgasm?
00:15:59:11 00:16:13:04
Speaker: I think it’s a song about exploring what works for you. I mean, I think that getting close to that place of climax and then do you need a rest afterwards or do you like to keep going?
00:16:13:05 00:16:21:06
Speaker: And what happens if you keep going with the sensation? Some people will find that irritating and some people will find that they then fall into another orgasm.
00:16:22:20 00:16:41:15
Speaker: And then once you figure out what works for you, becomes about the art of how to communicate with your partner, what you need, do you need them to slow down? Just pause for a moment and just let you catch your breath and then return to more stimulation or you complete. I mean, it just becomes about the of communication with your partner.
00:16:42:06 00:17:14:02
Speaker: And this is where it’s the pleasure lab. Right. It’s becomes this deep investigation together as a partnership. And some people like exploring these things and masterbation first and then bringing that knowledge into their partnership. Or you can explore as a partnership. But I think as the partner, since I’m the partner in giving multiple orgasms more than receiving multiple orgasms, for me it’s about paying exquisite attention. Two, how one orgasm leads to the next.
00:17:14:15 00:17:44:09
Speaker: Because sometimes, especially in the beginning of the play, we can parlay from one orgasm right into another, especially if I shift focus of attention. And so if we’re really focusing on clitoral and maybe I have two fingers inside Charlotte and she reaches an orgasm and I feel those contractions around my fingers, I’ll then move into kind of a different maybe I’ll start like rocking her hips or I’ll start like rub rubbing my hands up and down her sides.
00:17:44:17 00:18:07:21
Speaker: And so I continues. And sensation but shifted. And so it’s like, oh, there’s a orgasmic peak. Here’s the rest of the body. And then we come back to the clitoris. Other times when especially after several orgasmic rounds, I will just hold really still for maybe 30 seconds a minute, a minute and a half.
00:18:08:10 00:18:11:13
Speaker: So my mouth could be right there and she could feel my warm breath.
00:18:11:15 00:18:31:04
Speaker: My hands are right there, but I’m holding, like, exquisitely still and paying attention to how her body is recovering from that orgasm. And it’s like just a little bit of stillness and space. And then maybe her hips start rocking again into my hand and she guides me in to that next round.
00:18:31:16 00:18:46:17
Speaker: So ask the partner. This becomes so much about paying attention and letting your partner, the receiving partner and the partner that’s suspended in this multi orgasmic bliss guide you in what you are providing next.
00:18:47:07 00:19:07:07
Speaker: And so that could be sometimes right after an orgasm. You want something even harder, right? Like there’s an orgasmic peak and you’re ready for harder thrusting, deeper penetration, bigger penetration. And you can be ready to ride that. Right. Orgasms don’t always lead to this rest period.
00:19:07:20 00:19:31:23
Speaker: And sometimes they do. And I think our most successful and whatever successful, whatever the fuck that means, our best lovemaking sessions come when we’re both really communicating. And so we can ride the wave of what your body is wanting in that moment. And without the hang ups about the expectations, without counting, without worrying about any of that kind of qualitative stuff.
00:19:32:11 00:19:35:12
Speaker: But what is your body asking for right now?
00:19:35:15 00:20:39:21
Speaker: So what I would want to know from this couple is when they say after a clitoral orgasm, she’s done. What is that experience look like? So it’s not just the intensity of the clitoral stimulation builds up to the point where she feels done and the clitoris doesn’t want to be touched anymore. How do other parts of her body feel if they, as I said, just paused, cupped to hand over the vulva, rested for 60 seconds, and then started with like a slow massaging of the vulva again and a slow reintroduction of full body touch. Would she still be done? So what specifically does being done mean? And this is a major thing for men in multiple orgasms as well. Is is being done a hormonal cascade of the refractory period or is being done in oversensitivity of the penis and therefore it feels like it can’t be touched again, because sometimes we think we’re done when our genitals don’t want to be touched in the same intense way.
00:20:40:21 00:20:42:14
Speaker: But that doesn’t have to mean done.
00:20:43:04 00:20:56:02
Speaker: That’s a great point. All right. You can pivot. And then often, after a few moments of rest and spreading that erotic intensity out to the rest of the body, the genitals are ready for more. Right.
00:20:56:04 00:21:08:15
Speaker: And when we think about intensity of touch, we often think that we need to go faster and harder and deeper and bigger to create the next orgasm. There’s this idea that if this worked, then I need to do more. Right. It’s kind of a gateway theory.
00:21:11:18 00:22:05:02
Speaker: You can always has to more and more and more. But I found that sometimes when a lot of full body arousal is built, very subtle kinds of stimulation can stimulate more orgasms, very little motions and different kinds of motions. Like one of my favorite things to do is put a flat fist at the perineum and then start rocking the whole body from that musculature of the perineum. Right. So you create just a contact point in this rocking motion and the whole body starts rocking from that contact point in the pelvis. And that creates this kind of full body bouncing wave of stimulation that has nothing to do with the clitoris or the penis, but rocks that are arousal deep in the body. And then it often opens up for this next round of pleasurable stimulation.
00:22:05:11 00:22:25:14
Speaker: So I think getting creative. Right. Changing positions when you’re. Bodies in a different position. It can change how things are felt and experienced. So this is where the pleasure lab kicks in, is getting really creative, trying things you’ve never tried before and doing things that you’ve never seen in porn.
00:22:26:08 00:22:50:04
Speaker: If you’re at this point of talking about sex, laughing about sex, experimenting with sex in bed, then you are ready for the explorations of trying things with your body that you’ve never thought might be pleasurable. What happens then? Bring humor and creativity into it. And notice how you respond. And that is all the scientific data you need about your own experience.
00:22:53:02 00:23:30:07
Speaker: I want to acknowledge that I think this is easier with hands than it is with a penis. So if you are having these multiple orgasms through penetrative intercourse, I think that is a harder situation to really pay attention to the subtleties of contraction and nuance your touch in just the right way to create multiple orgasms. So I think this is where we really believe in hand sex as one of the primary ways of bringing women into high states of arousal and multiple orgasms.
00:23:30:23 00:23:58:09
Speaker: Or I recommend exploring, like if you’re in this exploring stage together. Do this in a hand sex mouth kind of way. And then later on, take it back to penetrative sex, because you’ll just be able to get so much more information right through, as you’re saying, like really be able to feel the contractions in the heat and the pressure and and wash all of that. And so get all that information in a pleasure lab kind of sex way and then return to penetrative sex.
00:23:59:01 00:24:02:12
Speaker: Right. In a different session probably. Or than you are then. Yeah.
00:24:02:23 00:24:28:16
Speaker: I mean, if you think about reading Braille with your fingertips and the nuance of sensations we are designed to pay attention to with our fingers and then try to read Braille with your penis. That would be much harder than nerve endings just aren’t the same. And so with our hands, which also move in these beautiful, dexterous ways, and you can calibrate the thickness, right. Even with two fingers as that two fingers close to each other.
00:24:28:17 00:24:39:18
Speaker: Are they two fingers in a V which stimulates different parts of the vaginal wall in the G spot? The incredible dexterity of our hands as a sexual tool is something we’re really passionate about.
00:24:40:01 00:24:57:09
Speaker: And I think we used to talk about that a lot more kind of in the beginning of this podcast. And we should circle back to it. Because for me, it is one of the most undiscovered potentials. When we started this podcast we’re talking about, you know, we haven’t yet mapped the human capacity of erotic pleasure.
00:24:57:22 00:25:05:13
Speaker: And I think hands are central and both in terms of full body touch and massage, but also how we touch one another’s genitals.
00:25:06:02 00:25:23:09
Speaker: All sexual systems, Volvo’s penises, anuses, Pentiums of the genitals, love hands and the dexterity and the nuance and like fine tuning that touch to meet just where your partner is wanting and that moment. It’s all about the hands.
00:25:23:20 00:25:34:24
Speaker: I love how you’re talking about Braille, by the way. I think that’s so profound. Like, if we think that humans can really feel into code that level of information, like imagine what they can do inside, inside the body.
00:25:35:05 00:25:38:02
Speaker: I mean, that’s your point. But I just want to highlight. That’s great.
00:25:40:04 00:25:47:24
Speaker: Yeah. So we will talk more about hands and hands, sex and reclaiming it from this idea of like teenage finger banging and right in the car.
00:25:47:25 00:25:58:17
Speaker: That’s like it just because I don’t have sex. No, no. We’re talking about we’re talking about magical, highly sensitive, highly attuned erotic superpowers.
00:25:59:14 00:26:13:05
Speaker: And these techniques for all sexual systems are in our foreplay mastery course. And we hesitated to name it foreplay, mastery, because for us, this is sex. It’s the main event. It’s the main way we make love to each other.
00:26:14:02 00:27:37:24
Speaker: But what a lot of people understand it as is foreplay. And the course includes a lot of other things about creating the conditions to have more frequent sex and full body foreplay. And what all of that looks like. But the hand sex techniques we’re talking about, the video guides, stroke by stroke with Charlotte’s sultry voice guiding you through, is all in the foreplay mastery course. And so circling back to this e-mail question, we had to read it a couple times to even figure out what they’re asking because she’s having multiple orgasms already, but they’re ejaculatory orgasms and she hasn’t seen that named as part of the discourse of female multiple orgasms, which does often focus on clitoral stimulation because the clitoris is the centerpiece of female sexual arousal, but that includes external and internal parts of the clitoris. And penetration, the pleasures of penetration come from the nerve endings in the clitoris. The vaginal walls themselves, while magical and stretchy and beautiful and wonderful, don’t have a whole lot of nerve endings that transmit pleasurable sensations. The feeling of fullness can be pleasurable. But the arousal you’re getting is still from the clitoral body, which is on the other side of the vaginal wall.
00:27:37:25 00:27:50:18
Speaker: So it’s being stimulated through the virginal wall. Right. So it might feel like it’s in the vagina, but that’s what’s happening. Does it make sense? It’s right behind the vaginal wall. And it’s going to engorge. And you’re feeling that sensation and waking up that sensation.
00:27:50:19 00:28:30:23
Speaker: And a large part of the penis, by the way, is also on the inside of the body and can be stimulated in many different ways that we show you. So we all have both internal and external genitals. And this old thing of Inese and Altis is just kind of old old news. Like, that’s part of the sex negative culture, blah, blah, blah. We all have a differently situated collection of nerve endings, erectile tissue glands, muscles, blood vessels, all of these structures that create arousal. And they all work together in harmony.
00:28:31:09 00:30:18:14
Speaker: And you get to be the explorer of what your sexual system is capable of right now is desiring right now what kind of sexual experience you want to create for yourself and for a partner that is your laboratory to plan. And I’m really appreciative that in the question they said were focusing on not caring too much about the answer, because when we get hung up, when we get focused on the pressure to achieve any one experience that we’ve read about in a book or heard about on a podcast, that pressure is antithetical to our arousal. That pressure gets in our way and stresses us out and gives us something to aspire to rather than be in the moment and experiencing what our body is telling us right now. So this becomes an open ended. Choose your own adventure and your body is the playground. You may surprise yourself by exploding into this new realm of what’s possible. And this is what we hear when people start applying our techniques. Is that all of a sudden these new possibilities open up and they didn’t know what their body was capable of before. And this is true with our hands sex techniques. It’s very true with our anal sex techniques. And that’s why we give you this guidance to kind of show you a map of what’s possible. And I always think of it over video gamers brain, but it is like you unlock the new realm of the game and then you can keep exploring. So you have like level one and level two, and then you keep exploring everything within that and you’re always discovering new possibilities, new lands with portals to go into the humans.
00:30:18:19 00:30:19:17
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
00:30:19:18 00:30:50:05
Speaker: And these maps that we give you, these possibilities we want to hold for you are not based just on our own sexual experiences and our own slutty past, but with our work with thousands and thousands of men, women and couples over the past 12, 15 years. We have touched thousands of body as we have guided thousands of bodies and we have listened to and collected the stories of tens of thousands of bodies. And when people confessed to us, Confed, that sounds like we’re priests.
00:30:51:05 00:31:02:24
Speaker: Well, but there is a there is once it is a sacred and a nonjudgmental space, people feel that and they do confess because we don’t have spaces in our culture where we can talk about these things honestly. It does actually feel that way often.
00:31:03:18 00:31:46:02
Speaker: But when people and trust us with their stories and their experiences in this way, we get to both see the radical diversity of what’s possible and the uniqueness of human sexuality, but also the patterns and the patterns of both our struggles and our pleasures. And what are the patterns that make the most sense and what how did these patterns fit together? And this is all of the work we bring in to this podcast into our online courses and into the work we do in the world. So very much we are non academic researchers. We are looking for patterns and then digesting it and reporting back to you to give you something to explore.
00:31:46:14 00:32:09:22
Speaker: And I think this is how we are going to map human sexual possibilities through these shame, free conversations, through lots of exploration, our own bodies, and then talking about it. And so thank you all for being a part of it. And thank you to this man from Texas for writing in and sharing his experience. All right. So if anyone is interested in exploring.
00:32:09:24 00:32:37:02
Speaker: Painting with the hand as sex techniques we were talking about, please check out our foreplay mastery course. Use the code. Speaking of sex for 20 percent off that or any of the other online courses. Come on over to pleasure mechanics, dot com, where you will find our complete podcast, archive, all of our online courses and so much more. We love hearing from you. I’m Chris. I’m Charlotte. We are the pleasure mechanics.
00:32:37:03 00:32:40:06
Speaker: Wishing you a lifetime of pleasure.