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A listener wanted to know how to fist his wife.
We answer with a full step-by-step guide on vaginal fisting, from warm-up to post-orgasmic exit.
This episode originally aired in 2013, and we didn’t know it would go viral and become one of our most popular episodes of all time – still true even after 350+ episodes of the Speaking of Sex podcast!
Learn how to fist with grace and skill so you can explore this intense sex act without any pain or injury. A lot of women love the intense sensations of fisting and the feeling of being “filled up.”
If your partner likes big penetration and playing with big toys, learn how to fist so you can give her tons of pleasure and enjoy the wild ride of getting your whole hand inside your lover!
The first step to fisting is mastering the art of using your hands to bring her to states of high arousal.
Discover everything you need to know in our Foreplay Mastery Course
How To Fist: A Primer
Want to know how to fist a woman? You are not alone! As sex educators we get asked this question a lot, from both men and women who want to experience the intensity of fisting. Fisting is the erotic act of penetrating the vagina (or anus, but that is the subject of another article entirely!) with the entire hand. Fisting is a form of large penetration that can feel highly arousing to many women. Inside the vagina, there aren’t a whole lot of nerve endings that detect subtle sensations, but there are a lot of pressure receptors. Many women love the sensation of being “filled up” and that deep internal pressure can be very stimulating.
Fisting is sometimes thought of as an extreme and brutal sex act – but it doesn’t have to be! Fisting can actually be very serene and peaceful or can of course be more rough. Like any sex act, the experience of fisting depends way more on the attitude and intentions you bring rather than the act itself. You can learn how to fist with grace and skill so it is an intensely pleasurable act that she loves.
Fisting is a bad name for this sex act, as many people have the mental image of creating a rigid fist and shoving it inside. Forget that image and instead think about the slow introduction of one finger at a time, gradually opening up the vagina and only introducing more fingers when she is ready. Learning how to fist will teach you how to pay attention to her arousal, penetrating her gently and at the pace that is right for her body.
One of the most essential skills to develop in learning how to fist is the art of folding your hand into a penetration-friendly shape. One or two fingers usually fit inside nicely, but when you go bigger than that you need to learn how to wedge your hand. Start by tucking your ring and index finger on top of your middle finger – see how that creates a nice pyramid shape? Then fold in your pinky and thumb to create the most compact shape you can. You may have to stretch and massage your hand to increase flexibility so you can tuck your hand in more tightly!
When first learning how to fist, use lots of lube and just take it one finger at a time. Fisting requires high levels of arousal, so warm her up with oral sex, clitoral stimulation and external anal play if she likes it. Then put her in charge of clitoral stimulation so you can focus on penetrating her. Don’t have a goal, just let her body invite you in at it’s own pace. The most intense part is getting past the knuckles at the base of the fingers. Wait for the vagina to expand and invite you in. Once inside, remember that really tiny movements will create a huge amount of sensation. Wiggle your hand gently, move in small circular movements and graze your knuckles against the cervix. Notice what she responds to and follow her lead about what kind of movements she likes best.
For more details on technique and how to fist like a pro, listen to the podcast where we teach you how to fist in detail, start to finish. Just hit the “play” button at the top of this page!
You’ll also hear about some of our personal experiences of fisting, including the hilarious incident of getting stuck in a vagina! Learning how to fist can be a fun, hot and sexy exploration. Take it slowly as you explore this intense sex act, and remember, penetration never has to hurt, no matter if it is one finger or a whole fist!
Resources Mentioned In The How To Fist Episode:
Foreplay Mastery Online Course
Transcript of How To Fist podcast episode
Please note: this transcript was auto-generated by software. It has been lovingly edited by human hands, but may not be 100% accurate. We hope it is useful to the hard of hearing community and anyone else who could benefit from a text version of the podcast.
Charlotte Rose (CR): Welcome to Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics I’m Charlotte-
Chris Maxwell Rose (CMR): I’m Chris
CR: We’re the Pleasure Mechanics, and in this podcast we’ll have honest conversations about sexuality. We offer expert advice and practical strategies so you can experience more sexual pleasure. We use explicit language and nothing is taboo. You can submit a question at pleasuremechanics.com or by calling 302-IN-TOUCH and leaving a message. Today we’re going to be talking about fisting, and Chris is going to get us started by reading a question from a listener.
CMR: A Listener named Doik wrote in (love the name by the way) so doik asks “I’d like to know more about fisting, although I hate the term- it sounds violent. My wife often enjoys a fuller hand job. However, my hands seem to be just a bit too broad at the knuckles and I don’t want to push it and end up giving pain rather than pleasure. Are there good quality vaginal plugs (I guess similar to a butt plug) that would be better, or will I eventually manage a full hand given enough arousal and time? Thanks so much for all the cool info. We’ve been married for over 20 years and are trying hard to stay close and intimate despite all the pressures of teenage kids, mortgages, etc, etc… And thanks for thinking of us boring straight folks. All the best.
CR: What do you mean boring, old, and straight? Don’t talk about yourself like that!
CMR: We think everyone can have an amazing sex life no matter what their orientation!CR: Everyone’s interesting!CMR: Sorry you’re straight, no one one’s perfect! Ha ha ha, just kidding!
We believe everyone deserves a fabulous sex life and thank you for your question. It brings up a topic that a lot of people are actually really curious about judging on the number of searches for fisting according to Google it’s a very popular topic, but there’s also a lot of misinformation out there, so we are going to teach you how to fist your wife on today’s episode. We’ll give you all the techniques you need to explore this, and we believe that yes, you can get your whole hand inside her given enough time, arousal, and your math skills that you will be learning with us today. So let’s start by first clarifying “what is fisting?” So fisting is the erotic act of introducing the entire hand into the vagina or the anus, and anal fisting is another subject altogether. Men and women both can enjoy it, but I think that deserves its own podcast way down the road perhaps. And we’re just going to be talking about vaginal fisting today. And of course this can involved a male or female hand. There’s a lesbian joke that goes around: What do you call a lesbian with small hands?CR:What?CMR: Well endowed! And this comes from the idea that your hands can be a great phallus, a great tool to penetrate your lover with if you do it right. So we’re going to be talking all about vaginal fisting and the fisting part of that term is a little bit of a misnomer because you do not, I repeat, you do not put your hand into a fist as if you’re about to punch someone and push it into the vagina. There is no pussy punching here.
You instead introduce your fingers one by one and slowly stretch the vaginal walls to the point where you can slip your whole hand inside.
CR: And once you’re inside you can make a fist sort of shape. Some people do like a gentle pulsing motion with the hand in this shape, but that will be particular to the woman.
Right. So we’ll get to the techniques for once you’re fully inside when we get there, but we’re going to go through it step by step now and teach you how to fist. Ready? Let’s go. So if you’re driving, there will be some interactive portions of this podcast- you will not be fisting yourself, but rather doing some hand exercises to get what we’re talking about. So if you’re listening to the podcast in the car, please exercise caution.
CR: That’s a great P.S.A! Yeah, and fisting is one of these acts that can be thought of as really intense and extreme, sort of like anal sex is sometimes. We know that it can be a really gentle, loving, intimate, profound, beautiful sex act, and it doesn’t have to have a moment of pain.
CMR: Right, like all sex acts, the experience comes from the attitude you bring and the intention you bring, not the act itself. So fisting is often depicted in porn as a very like, brutal, rough thing and it really doesn’t have to be. And once you’re more experienced in fisting together, then you can bring whatever erotic energy you want to it, including more of a domination mood, but it also can be very meditative and peaceful and serene, so kind of erase the images you have of fisting from any porn you’ve been watching and really come at this with an open mind as to what this kind of penetration can look like. And when you get down to it it really is just penetration. It’s a large form of vaginal penetration that many women can enjoy. And the anatomy of that is simply that inside the vagina there’s not a lot of nerve endings that pick up subtle sensation but there are nerve endings that detect pressure. So a lot of women enjoy the sensation of being really filled up and fisting is one way to get that sense of being full, a lot of internal pressure and a lot of women find that highly arousing. So that’s simply just you know an act that feels good to some women because of the sensations it creates.
CR: One concern people have about fisting is that it will stretch the vagina, and it will, but that will just be temporary. The vagina as we know is designed to be able to take an enormous baby coming out of it, but it is designed to return to its natural size. So depending on what activities you’re doing and how often you’re doing it and the woman’s body that you’re touching, it could stretch out for a little bit- possibly a couple of days, a couple of weeks, or even a couple of months depending on, as I said, what you’re doing- but it will return. It is a myth that you’ll stretch it out permanently, and don’t worry about that piece of it.
CMR: Definitely. The other piece to think about here is preparation. So definitely we recommend having a high quality lubricant on hand, so to speak. A lot of people prefer silicone lubricants for this because it stays slick for a really long time and it doesn’t get sticky like water based lubricants can. But whatever your lubricant of choice, use plenty, reapply often and you know, spread it around- don’t just focus it right on the entrance. This is a kind of juicy, messy, activity so be prepared to get slick. Some people enjoy using gloves for fisting because it smoothes out the rough edges, creates another level of protection and barrier. And some women prefer the sensation of a hand with a glove on. But whether or not you’re using gloves make sure to trim and file your fingernails really well and men aren’t necessarily used to this so, you know, either go get a manicure or make sure you trim your nails really well on your own and one way to test this is run your nails along your lips and that will help you detect any rough spots. Your lips are really sensitive and if you run your nails along your lips you’ll be able to tell if there are any little snags or rough spots you want to tend to with a nail file. And that’s basically all you need to prepare.
CR: So obviously when you’re going to begin experimenting with fisting, it’s important that you’re both on board and know that sometimes the body can open to larger penetration and other times it can’t or it doesn’t quite feel like it. So every time you go into experimenting with fisting, know that it’s best not to have a goal and just to explore and experiment what her body is open to that particular time.
CMR: Yeah. And I think it’s important to recognize that when you are fisting someone, their body is really in control. Sometimes it’s considered kind of a dominating act, but ultimately her body will open up to you or not, and so go into it with the mentality of: you want to serve your wife, your girlfriend, you want to pleasure her fully and let her body be the guide. And I think that was really evident in your email that you don’t have an ego about this you just want to give her what she wants and give her a really hot sexual experience and that is absolutely the right attitude to go into this with.
CR: Yeah that’s just lovely the way you wrote about it. You didn’t want to cause her pain just pleasure. And I think there’s absolutely a way to do that.
CMR: And with any extreme form of penetration there is going to be that edge between pain and pleasure where your muscles are relaxing, they’re opening up, the tissues are stretching and that can feel really good in a little bit of a painful way. But you never want to slip over that line to where it’s outright painful and not arousing anymore. And so that’s going to be a line that we’ll find together and you’ll be able to communicate about but women who are listening to this- and please know that it can feel a little bit tender, but it never has to or outright hurt. And so trust your body on that one and if you ever feel really a contraction of pain or you feel like it’s just getting too painful then ease back. You never want to cause your body pain in the name of pleasure. And you know think of it like a really good massage. There are some moments where it’s like “ooh that burns in such a good way,” and those moments can be OK, but don’t take it into a point where you’re injuring yourself.
CR: Yeah any time you reach an edge that feels questionable, you can always just hold still there or pull back out slightly, and keep stimulating the clitoris, keep creating more arousal, and then edge back again. So let’s talk about that good old clitoris! So fisting is something that is not an introductory sex act- meaning you don’t want to start your sexual experience with trying to fist. You want to really warm up her body, give her lots of full body touch, we always recommend full body massage- especially butt massage- and then get her entire sexual system really warmed up through fingering, oral sex, and preferably, if she’s multi-orgasmic, have her experience one or more orgasms before you start moving towards the fisting penetration.
CR: Yeah. And just to second that- the full body massage, the butt massage, all of that is especially important in these sorts of acts because the body really has to be relaxed in order to receive that kind of penetration. So absolutely- full body massage is a great way to begin these sorts of acts.
CMR: Seduce her entire body. And then when you’re ready. So maybe you’ve already had one or maybe two fingers inside her and what you want to start thinking about is slowly introducing one finger at a time as her body opens up. And one really good thing to do here is put her in charge of clitoral stimulation. So encourage her to touch her own clitoris while you focus on the penetration. That way she can bring herself as much arousal as she wants to continue to build arousal as you go inside her bigger and bigger.
CR: Perfect. Then she can go at the rate that she wants, the kind of pressure that she wants…
CMR: Yeah I think a lot of guys want to do it all and being in control of all of it, but in my experience (at least giving touch to women) sometimes it’s easier for me to focus on giving really good penetration if I don’t also have to worry about stimulating the clitoris in the right way. You know, multitasking is great, but sometimes you really just want to focus your erotic attention on one thing at a time and have it be a team sport. Put her in charge of the clitoris and you just focus all of your attention on your fingers in her vagina and what you are feeling there. And the other thing I want to say here is this is a moment to really drop your attention into your fingers. Notice what your fingers are feeling. Notice the sensation of the tissues and pay exquisite attention. I love this. This is one of my favorite things about sex with women- is the sensations of the vagina opening and responding to your touch and it can be just a really exquisite dance. So start noticing when there’s little muscular contractions, when there’s an opening, start noticing her moisture level, the heat in your fingers, and use all of that information to give her the kind of sensation that she most wants.
CR: I want to second what Chris is saying of just fully paying attention to all the sensations you possibly can in your hands and in her body so that you will know when she wants more penetration, when you need to back off a little bit, when you can keep moving your hand further in… It is really a dance of sensation and the more you’re paying exquisite attention to your hands and to her vagina, the more skill you can bring to this act.
CMR: Yeah and it’s a combination of noticing what you’re feeling in your fingers and then paying attention to her responses. So what is her breathing doing, what is her body doing, how are her sounds?
Notice when she expresses a lot of pleasure and experiences at peak of arousal and correlate that to what you’re doing with your hands and then over time you’ll get a sense of what kind of motions feel best to her in any particular moment.
CR: Cause there really is vaginal tension that you can feel and that is a point when you feel that- that you pull back. That it doesn’t want more penetration like when the vagina is ready it can really pull you in and you want to be paying attention to that sensation and really allowing your hand to follow her openness as opposed to you pushing in and forcing any kind of penetration.
CMR: That’s a great point it’s not a forceful penetration. It’s a gradual opening, blooming expansion of the vagina.
CR: And you can physically feel that in the vagina and that’s what you want to be going for- you want to keep opening her and then following that openness with your penetration. Yes.
CMR: I have this like, holy image of this tunnel of light opening to you and that’s sometimes how it feels.
And I think this is one of the things we said about it being like a serene meditation. If you’re paying full attention it can just be an exquisite beautiful experience for both of you. So let’s think about the fingers, and I don’t know if you’re in your office, or if you’re on the train, or driving your car, but if you can follow along. So if you’re fingering a woman with one finger usually use your index finger, and it’s just kind of straight and you curve it to hit the G-spot and it’s a great one finger on its own. When you go to two fingers, usually what happens is you press the first and second finger together and you move them together and you have a nice broad surface.
When you start going to three or four fingers (and this is especially important for bigger handed men, but we can all do this) you want to start folding your hand into more of a point rather than just having your fingers splayed next to each other. So right now put your first, second, and third finger- so I guess that’s the index, center finger, and your ring finger, together and fold the two on top of the center finger and you can see how it forms a bit of like a pyramid.CR: Like a tripod.CMR: Yeah. Well a tripod would be more splayed it’s more pressed together into a triangular point. And this is a great position to start introducing three fingers in. And when you get to this point and you can get the fingers all the way into the second set of knuckles, then that’s basically as wide as you want to go until she continues opening up. And try using these three fingers in harmony together. Sometimes I like stimulating the top of the vaginal wall with the top two fingers while my center finger tickles the cervix a little bit. But really get dextrous with using your fingers together as a sexual tool. When she’s ready for more. You’re gonna introduce the pinky and again, rather than just putting it next to each other and creating a wider tool. You’re going to fold it on top of the ring finger. And so this again it kind of continues that triangular pyramid point and you can start introducing that. After the pinky, you’re going to get to that point where you need to introduce the widest point of your hand which is the knuckles that are across your palm- you know, where the fingers give way to the hand itself. And again, as much as possible you want to practice folding your hands so you’re not just flat handed. You know and I’m looking at my hand now and it’s probably five, six inches across that way. But if I folded and fold my fingers on top of each other I can compress it down to probably three or four inches and you can practice some fisting techniques wherever you are by practicing exercising your hands and getting them more flexible so you can fold your fingers on top of each other more easily. And this is the point where you definitely want to introduce a little bit more lube and you’re going to stay right inside her. So the vaginal opening is right around the knuckles until the point that it opens up to you. Never push this surface in past resistance so apply a little bit more lube and just stay and work the opening of the vagina with some nice circular motions with a little bit of pulsing or vibrating until you warm up the vagina and it opens up to you. Then, you’re going to touch your thumb. So you’ve got your fingers stacked on top of each other and a nice little point. You’re going to tuck your thumb into your palm folding your thumb pad over until your hand is in a nice triangular pyramid shape. And this is really essential because if you fold your thumb pad over you make your hand until I get a nice, round, tapered, blip kind of shape and the vagina is really good at accepting this kind of shape inside of it. So you’re folding your hand you’re tapering all your fingers together and you’re creating one smooth surface that the vagina can open up to.
So if you’re following along, try this. Get your fingers folded together, tuck your thumb in, and then kind of notice what is the circumference of your palm, your hand, as it’s folded together. Depending on the size of your hand, this could be six/seven inches, eight or nine inches, but most of the time it’s smaller than a baby’s head,
Right? And if it’s smaller than a baby’s head, then the vagina can open to it. And I know that during birth there’s all sorts of hormones and bone shifts and stuff that happen to accommodate the extra size, but ultimately, no matter what size your hand, you’ll probably be able to fit inside. But this is not a 100% sure thing. There are some women who have very small vaginas, or have a lot of vaginal tension, and there are some people who have very large hands, and you may come to a point where you’re just not going to fit in any further.
But that’s OK because that means you’ve given her all of the penetration she can hold and the sensations will be really intense.
But if you can, you’re going to slowly work that folded hand (some people call this the duckbill position, because it looks like a little duckbill… I like to think of it more as a pyramid of power) but as you work that in, there comes a point where then the vagina opening will contract around your wrist and your hand is inside the vagina.
And this can be a really intense moment and once you get inside you want to kind of hold still for a while.
CR: Yeah, and once you’re inside, little movements are going to feel really, really, big. So you can focus on micro movements and you can focus on making really small movements inside either with individual fingers or with your whole hand. Pulsing, small circles, vibrations… You can really begin to play with the sensations you can create inside without making huge movements. It will feel huge to the receiver.
CMR: Right. And so hopefully she’s still stimulating her clitoris, she is super aroused, and once you’re inside this is where things can either get really quiet and serene, or they can become very bestial. Follow her lead and notice her responses as you start moving around inside, and what she likes and do more of that. And normally at this point, women become highly orgasmic and highly aroused and as she’s stimulating her clitoris, she may then have one or more orgasms with you inside her. There’s not a whole lot more to say about what to do once your hand is inside, sometimes your hand will stay in that tapered position. Other times once you get past the entrance the vagina kind of balloons out a bit and you can actually reshape your hand more into the fist that we think of traditionally where your fingers are curled in towards the palm and your thumb is tucked under those or over them, and you have more of the fist position inside. Only do this if you feel like you have room to move around inside the vagina. If it’s a tight fit, you’re going to want to hold your hands still in the position that it went in. A word to the wise: sometimes, your hand will start cramping up.
Sometimes, the vagina has such strong contractions that it squeezes your hand and it can be really, really, intense. My best advice is just to go with it and ride out those waves and try to stick with it. But you can also sometimes get to a point where your hand is actually in pain from all the contractions and vaginal pressure around your hand, and if you need to- pull out.
I’m not trying to instill the fear of vagina in you, but rather say that the vaginal contractions during orgasm can be really intense and when the muscles are stretched out so much and your hand is inside, they can feel very intense on your hand and the best thing to do is try to keep your hands relaxed and supple and just ride the orgasms out with her. After she’s done, one of two things happens. One, her orgasms can kind of shoot you out, and if she has one really strong orgasm, you can kind of be ejected, like from a spaceship, and your hand kind of falls out and she’s pulsing in orgasm and you can curl up with her and it’s all good.
Another thing that can happen is the contractions can lock you inside. So this has happened to me a couple times where after the contractions the vagina goes really tight and the hand is a little bit stuck inside.
And I remember the first time this happened to me. We were both lying there and we were in Amsterdam of all places, and I was starting to think, like, “are going to have to go to the hospital? How do we get there with my hand inside the vagina? Like, what is this even going to- you know, how do I ever get out of here?” because it really felt like my hand was completely stuck.
And so what you do in that case is you really gently- with a finger from your other hand- work your way in between the seal of the vaginal opening and your wrist, and you have to release the vacuum seal that has happened. So get your little finger in there, create an air pocket, just open it up a little bit and then slowly work your way out. And you can also ask your lover to bear down a little bit as if she was trying to pee or take a poo, and this will relax the pelvic muscles enough to let you make an exit that is as graceful as your entrance. Because always remember, when you’re pulling out you want to have as much attention there as you did going in, so that part feels good too. The case of the vaginal handcuff.
CR: Yeah. I mean exiting you really want to be as gentle as possible. I think you’re saying that, but just move so incredibly slowly if you haven’t been ejected. Yeah and the graceful penetration and the graceful exit is very important.
And I also just want to add in the part where we are- where you are putting beginnings but more and more fingers inside just all of that- obviously what you want to be really slow, really gentle, really including kind of a back and forth motion, the circles, the vibrations, again just to have all of that be an erotic experience- you’re not just trying to put one finger in and then another finger in. Chris was kind of talking about it like that because she was talking about how you expand and keep adding fingers but adding each finger wants to be an organic erotic experience in and of itself. Does that make sense?
CMR: Right. The time between each finger could be 90 seconds, it could be five minutes, or it could be 15 minutes. You might get to three fingers and she feels like that’s it for the day or she might just be hungry for more more more, and you get there pretty quickly. And as we said before this is totally up to her body. You are in service to her body and let her needs dictate it. And one really sexy thing to do is just ask her, like, she’s really enjoying your penetration, she’s working her clit, she’s really aroused. Just look up and say, “ready for more?” Or “Do you want another?” Or “Can I go inside with another finger?” You know just ask and get her consent and that way you know you’re both on the same page. But the biggest transition in my experience is between having four fingers in a pyramid and getting past that row of knuckles. And the best advice I can give for you there is again to try to fold your hand as much as they can, work it into more of a pyramidal- work it into a pyramid-shaped wedge and try to keep your hand in a nice smooth alignment so you’re not jerking in with your knuckles.
CR: Yeah, absolutely. That is the most intense moment and you have to have all of your awareness on high alert in those moments to really make sure that part feels good. And again that you’re moving at her pace.
CMR: And the other thing to be said there is especially once you’re past the knuckles, she’s probably not going to want an intense in and out penetration motion. You know, this kind of hydraulic pump motion of penetration is very popular in the porn world, but there’s a lot more kinds of sensation other than the in and out. And when you have a bigger penetration going in and out past that introitus, the elastic opening of the vagina, is sometimes really uncomfortable. So once you’re in, you might want to stay in and then just do circles, vibrations, start tickling the cervix with your fingertips, work the G-spot, the upper vaginal wall… Do all of those kinds of sensations rather than focusing on pumping in and out. If she wants a pumping in and out, sometimes that can feel really good, she’ll tell you and you can experiment with that and see how she responds, but definitely bring your creativity to the internal stimulation once you’re inside with three or more fingers. We should have said way before this, but we will say now- if you want to master the art of touching her vagina, and her vulva, and her clitoris, with your fingers for maximum arousal, you are definitely going to want to pick up a copy of our video guide,The Pleasure Mechanics Guide to Fingering (part of the Foreplay Mastery Course). We take you through stroke by stroke how to stimulate every single part of the female sexual system and you will become a master with your hands. And that is kind of a prerequisite for getting to an extreme penetration like fisting. You need to be able to really touch her sexual system with a lot of skill before you’ll be welcome into the vaginal vortex. So head over to pleasuremechanics.com and grab that video guide as a listener of the Speaking of Sex podcast, we’d like to offer you 20% off that or any of our video guides. Simply use promo code: speakingofsex, all one word, at checkout and you’ll receive 20% off your order.
Those videos are also available on Amazon along with our 10 e-books on sexual skills. So definitely head over to pleasuremechanics.com and brush up on your sexual skills before you graduate onto these extreme forms of intimacy. Wahoo!
CR: You asked about toys in your question, and there are dildos that, are you know, built for the vagina- but your hands are going to be able to offer so much more nuance and you’re going to be able to get a lot more information about how her vagina is doing by being able- (laughs) “How’s your vagina doing?”
(laughs) Right. I mean, when you have your hand inside there’s so many different little motions you can do- you can pulse one finger, you can do little circles… using a toy you kind of get it in there and then you can stir it around a little bit, but there’s a lot less nuance than when you’re using your hands. So some women like using really large toys to get that sense of fullness. Certainly explore that if you want, but know that your hands are the ultimate sex toy ever invented, and use them well!
CR: We think the hands of the best sex toy ever because they are a sensitive, dexterous, and flexible. They can process so much information from what they’re feeling so that you can respond to your partner’s arousal with the most information because when you use a toy, you can’t get information about how it’s feeling to them in the same way that you can with your hands because you can feel the pulsing, the heat, the openings… There’s just more information you can gather through your hands so that you can provide more incredible sensation and pleasure to your lover.
CMR: Hallelujah! (laughs)
So to review, definitely try fisting with your wife it sounds like she wants it and she likes it. Really just thinking about it as introducing one finger at a time, while she’s highly aroused, while she’s touching her own clitoris to maintain that arousal, and only introduce the next finger when her vagina is opening up to it, and is ready for it, and is begging for it. It’s way better to tease it out and make her want it, then to rush it and go too fast.
CR: Absolutely. So much better to go slow- to stop at three fingers and next time you have an encounter start again and add more.
It can happen over multiple sessions.CMR: And practice flexing your hands and stacking your fingers into a beautiful pyramid-shaped wedge (I’m going to trademark that term) and introduce touch that way. So it’s a little more tapered and smooth going in.
And once you’re inside, explore, but remember that a lot of sensation can come from a very small micro movements. So do small little circles, tickle her cervix with your fingers or knuckles, move your hand around if you can, but once you’re inside, ride it out with her and let her have orgasms around you and relish those amazing, strong, contractions you’ll feel. You’ll either be ejected out, or slowly, slowly, pull your way out so that part is as pleasurable as going in, and let us know how it goes.
We’d love to hear from you and hear about your fisting adventures.CR: And remember that our guide is a perfect intro to all of this. We build up to one and two fingers in that, and then you can just keep adding more fingers with all the techniques that we teach in that video guide. It’s a great resource. So I hope that is enough information to get you started. It’s a great sex act. I applaud you for experimenting and trying it out and I hope that it goes so well.
CMR: Is that applauding with one fist inside a vagina, or…? What’s the sound of one hand clapping? Alright! (laughs)
CR: So you could submit a question to be answered on this podcast by visiting pleasuremechanics.com and looking for the “Ask Us Anything” page.
You can also subscribe to our free weekly newsletter for weekly sex advice, exclusive giveaways, and more. Over at pleasuremechanics.com. I’m Charlotte.
CMR: I’m Chris.
CR: We’re the Pleasure Mechanics, wishing you a lifetime of pleasure.
CMR: Happy fisiting!