Initiating sex can be scary, even in long term relationships. Here’s how to initiate (and refuse!) sex with skill and grace.
If initiating sex terrifies you, you are not alone. In this episode we dive into the best way to initiate sex to minimize rejection – and how to reject your partner without wounding the person you love!
Initiating sex can be scary, even with a long term partner. Asking for what you desire is a vulnerable act, no matter how much you trust your partner. For most people, it is the fear of rejection that gets in the way of initiating sex more frequently.
Let’s face it: rejection hurts. Most human languages reflect this with phrases like “heart broken” and “hurt my feelings” or “that stung.” Recently, modern technology has revealed that this isn’t a metaphor: functional MRI studies reveal romantic rejection registers in the brain as physical pain.
But you don’t need to feel rejected every time your partner isn’t up for sex. In this episode, we explore how to reframe the situation so it feels safer to ask while allowing both partners to authentically negotiate their desires.
A lot of people come to sexual neediness out of touch starvation. If you have a culture in your relationship where you are not touching one another, you are not affectionate, you are not feeling paid attention to, that is when sexual neediness sets in. And needy is never sexy.