When I try to have anal sex it hurts, what should I do? Anal sex has always been painful, will it always hurt? Anal sex causes me pain, why would people like this?
As sex educators and experts in anal sex and prostate massage, we get asked questions like this all the time. We are happy to report that anal sex doesn’t have to be painful or hurt at all – in fact, it should be 100% pleasurable, 100% of the time.
Anal stimulation should NEVER be painful. Let us say that again: anal stimulation, including penetration, should NEVER be painful. This is a shocker to many people, who only associate anal play with pain and discomfort. Most people override some level of pain to get to the pleasure, or to please their partner.
The way anal sex is depicted in pornography is a travesty – we see huge penises penetrating wide open orifices with no warm-up, no lube, and no external stimulation. Done at home, this is almost certain to hurt, at best, and in the most extreme cases can severely damage the sensitive tissues of the anus and rectum.
Anal play can be 100% pleasurable. When done with care, anal play creates a gradual and relaxing opening of the anal sphincters, and penetration is slow and gradual, feeling good the entire time.