Performance anxiety affects almost all men at one point or another. It can be a crippling force that drains all the fun out of sex.
In this episode (simply hit the “play” button above!) we explore performance anxiety and how to transform your experience of performance anxiety in your sex life.
If you are struggling with Performance Anxiety, we highly recommend the comprehensive and compassionate online course from sex therapist Vanessa Marin: The Modern Man’s Guide To Conquering Performance Pressure
Performance Anxiety Is Not Medical Erectile Dysfunction
Your first step is to check for any medical reasons. Do you ever get fully hard? Do you have morning erections? during masturbation? If so, equipment is working. If not, go talk to doctor.
Steps To Overcome Performance Anxiety
- Detox From Sexual Past
- How much power do past events have over you now?
- Redefine Performance
- What makes a sexual engagement successful
- Redefine Erection
- Actively Reduce Anxiety
- Know How To Please Her
That’s the key to managing performance anxiety. Notice that you’re worrying and then do something about it. Simple. But not always easy. It requires practice. Lots and lots of practice. ~ Emily Nagoski
Practice During Masturbation
- Get off computer and into body
- Learn the edging technique (part of Foreplay Mastery) to discover how to pay close attention to where you are in your arousal cycle
- Separate ejaculation from orgasm, and become multi orgasmic
Practice During Partnered Sex
- Develop split attention
- Focus on own sensation and partner’s pleasure at same time
Performance Anxiety Advice For Partners:
- His erection is not about your desirability
- Don’t create drama. It will make things worse.
- Switch activities. Focus on the rest of his body or invite him to pleasure you!
For a comprehensive guide through conquering performance anxiety, check out Vanessa Marin’s: The Modern Man’s Guide To Conquering Performance Pressure