Let’s face it: life is busy, our to-do lists are long and at the end of the day it can feel exhausting to think about getting intimate.
Here’s the problem: if you de-prioritize your sexuality again and again, you can fall into a dry spell and it becomes much harder to get your sex life started again. Every time you choose the TV over your erotic life, your pleasure potential narrows a bit.
So here is some advice that can do wonders for your sex life: even if you aren’t in the mood, get intimate anyway. Choose to get naked, get in bed and simply explore full body touch. Don’t put pressure on the situation, don’t have an agenda to have sex or even have an orgasm. Just touch. Then notice how you feel. Most of the time, your body will start warming up and feeling really good, your mind will relax and you’ll say things like “Why don’t we do this EVERY night?”
This “get naked and touch” advice is even more important for women, as female sexual response is often “responsive desire” rather than “spontaneous desire.” This means that women are more likely to feel aroused and ready for intimacy once they are already in an erotic situation (naked and touching their lover!) rather than spontaneously as they are washing up after dinner.
Once you are naked and in bed, focus on full body touch, using all of the strokes you have learned from the couples massage videos. Then, if you find yourself aroused, you can move on to erotic touch or other kinds of orgasmic stimulation. But remember that even a few moments of full body touch is enough to trigger your brain’s pleasure response, create head-to-toe relaxation and release all the health benefits of touch. Make a few minutes of full body touch part of your daily routine and you’ll notice tremendous benefits for your health and your relationship.
So don’t wait to be in the mood for intimacy. Choose to get naked and start touching and see what happens!
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