“I want more romance” and “I want more romantic sex” are themes in many of the emails we receive from our listeners, and while the yearning for “more romance” is so common, what each individual means by this phrase and what it would look like to experience “more romance” is wildly and wonderfully unique to each of us.
When we talk about “romance” with our global community, we learn how specific, personal and culturally laden the experience, desire and appetite for romance is to us individual humans. And yet we also notice the deeply human desires to feel seen, cherished and connected.
Valentine’s Day is a day filled with ritualized romance – but it is not our only opportunity to ritualize romance in order to feel, express and celebrate romance more fully!
In this episode we explore what it means to ritualize romance, cultural scripts of romance, and how to create your own personal and meaningful romantic rituals.
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When exploring our personal relationships to the notion of “romance” it is essential that we get off script about romance and start getting specific about what feels most romantic to us as individual erotic beings, at this stage in our life. Here are some questions that may bring up meaningful insights into your own relationship with “romance”
- What emotional acts or gestures feel romantic to you?
- Of your (sub)culture’s romantic scripts, which ones turn you on, and are there any that turn you off?
- Is romance even something you want? If so, how much?
- What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?
- When you think of a “romantic date” what sensual details emerge?
- Are sex and romance connected for you?
- Do you have romantic friendships? How do you express your emotional intimacy and closeness with non-sexual partners?
- Is there anything you do for yourself that feels romantic?
- What acts of self-romance might you choose to experience more of?
- What feels most romantic, to you?
- What would a more romantic relationship look and feel like?
- How do you want to get more romantic in expressing how you feel to those you love?
Here are curated resources for you to explore romance, getting more romantic, making sex more romantic, and experiencing more romance in your life.
Resources On Romance and Romantic Relationships
Our #1 recommendation if you are ready to deepen your experience of intimacy and relationship is our friend and mentor Dr. Alexandra Solomon’s online course, INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS 101. We are enrolled students and this course has both guided us through a tough season and deepened our relational skills and experience of romance – even after 15 years as erotic educators! We can’t recommend this course highly enough! This course is a deep dive and will give you a comprehensive foundation in the skills of relational and sexual self-awareness— the skills you need to create a thriving and healthy intimate partnership. Enroll here, a discount is built right into the link for members of the Pleasure Mechanics community.