Are you ready for a Sex Lab?
The sex lab is a playful space where you can try new sexual activities, build new sexual skills, dip into new kinks or try on new erotic personas – without all the pressure of creating a full sexual experience.
When athletes train, they do drills. They practice without the pressure of a full game experience. We need to do the same in our sex lives, to create the time to build sexual skills and conduct erotic experiments without pressure or anxiety.
Here are just a few things you might want to explore in a Sex Lab:
- New sensation (spanking, scratching, featherlight touch, temperature play)
- New toy (browse a great sex toy store like SheVibe and let your excitement guide the way!)
- New erotic persona (roleplaying, power play)
- New sexual activities (butt play, couples massage, prostate stimulation, bondage)
- New positions (and not just for intercourse)
To try a sex lab, follow these steps:
- Talk to your lover about what you want to try out. What sexual experience do you want to explore next?
- Pick ONE small skill or piece of the experience to experiment with. For example, if you are interested in exploring bondage, JUST try on the cuffs and play with that element. Do NOT try out multiple things (bondage, roleplaying, sex while in bondage) all at once! Isolate your variables!
- Set aside 20-45 minutes to experiment. Keep it friendly, playful and experiment with the spirit of curiosity. You aren’t trying to have a full sexual experience!
- After your sex lab is complete, TALK about what happened. What felt good? What was exciting? What felt scary or unpleasant? Communicate with kindness and avoid reacting with harshness or judgment.
- Integrate what worked into your sex life, or figure out what you need to explore more of before incorporating it into your sex life together.
- Pick a new experiment for your next sex lab!
- If you want expert guidance in your sex labs, enroll in our Erotic Mastery Online Courses for stroke-by-stroke guides!
Here is the email that inspired this episode:
I am a 36 year old woman and have been with my husband for almost ten years. We have a decent sex life, but it is just boring. We do the same five things every time, almost always in the same order. I have orgasms and everything, but I am just not excited by it. I try to bring in new things, but when I do my husband gets really anxious and goofy, cracking jokes and totally getting me out of the mood. Help! I can’t deal with the idea of a lifetime of the same sex over and over again