Erotic spanking can be an incredibly arousing experience. This episode explores why it is so arousing, both physically and emotionally, and how to maximize the arousal in your erotic spanking experience.
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Sex & Spanking: Who Likes Erotic Spanking?
We are going to go out on a limb here and say almost EVERYONE likes spanking. We have yet to talk to someone who upon (friendly!) interrogation won’t admit that a well-timed, well-placed, well-calibrated slap on the ass during sex feels amazing. No matter if you have experienced a full over-the-knee spanking or ever want to, some sort of spank on the butt during arousal feels good to almost everyone.
Here’s why: the butt is part of everyone’s sexual system. Male and Female, All Orientations, We All Have Butts. The butt (and all pelvic) muscles are some of the most important in the human body for overall posture, movement and comfort. Most of us have chronic tension in our butts that needs to be relaxed.
Spanking is an effective form of butt massage (one of our favorite kinds of massage, included in our Couples Massage Mastery course) because spanking is a form of percussion, which is a massage technique at heart. By striking the flesh, you create a vibration wave that ripples through the muscle and bounces off the bones. Each of these moments of impact has the potential to relieve muscular tension. Some of the techniques we will show you are specifically designed to relieve muscular tension and relax the butt muscles. Each spank creates a wave of vibrations that ripples through all the butt muscles and into the genital tissues. The muscles bounce off the bones, the genitals are stimulated, and all of the nerve endings are firing with every impact. A good spanking literally shakes up the muscles of the pelvis, relaxes pelvic tension and creates pleasurable stimulation throughout the pelvis, including the entire sexual system.
Spanking also floods the pelvis with fresh blood flow – making all kinds of erotic stimulation more pleasurable. Most people report that genital and/or anal stimulation after spanking is more intense, more vivid, more arousing. Remember, blood flow is essential for both sensitivity and to the engorgement of erectile tissues of the genitals. So more blood flow creates more arousal, plain and simple.
Some people find spanking sexy for the taboo thrill of it. There are a lot of role playing games that include spanking – from Teacher/student, Parent/child, Boss/ secretary, naughty school boys and girls, and on and on. . . Spanking has been part of our cultural experience, no matter if we were spanked as children or not. Spanking is a pretty universal form of punishment and thus is erotic for some people.
There is a debate about whether or not being spanked as a child makes it more likely it will be eroticized later in life. Some people believe that spanking a child will hardwire the excitement, fear and humiliation into the body’s physical responses. Other people believe that the pain and humiliation experienced during childhood spankings will make it less likely that spanking could be pleasurable later on in life. We think it probably goes both ways – we’ve met plenty of people that love spanking even though they were never spanked as children, and have met folks who can pinpoint the moment in their childhood where spanking became an exciting fantasy. We are firmly against spanking children, by the way, and think erotic spanking has nothing to do with the physical discipline of children. But if you were spanked as a kid, it is up to you to figure out what relationship that has with your current fantasies. Really, there is nothing to be done with this information – your sexuality is yours to enjoy as a consenting adult. But if spanking brings up intense emotional responses that are related to something you experienced as a child, it may be worth exploring this with a therapist to make sure you are experiencing your sexuality on your own terms.
Spanking also appears in a lot of movies and many people first started fantasizing about spanking after seeing a dramatic depiction of a spanking on tv or in the theater. Sex & Spanking are tied together in our cultural imagination. Seeing an intense physical act like spanking played out in a movie can leave a lasting impression and set the stage for a lifetime of fantasies.
Receiving spanking can be enjoyable just because it forces us to occupy our erotic body in new ways. Spanking invites you to pay close attention to your ass, the sensations rippling through your genitals, the heat of your skin. Delicious. You might find yourself waving your ass around in the air, asking for the next blow, quivering with pleasure. These new sensations can be absolutely thrilling, and over time you can bring this new freedom into other parts of your sex life.
Some people love the combination of sex & spanking while others like to focus on one kind of sensation at a time. Try different combinations and see what you discover.
Ultimately, spanking can be highly erotic for some people for reasons they don’t need to understand to enjoy. Why spanking turns so many people on is a combination of the sheer physical pleasure and thrill of it combined with the intense emotional and power dynamics of the act. Whatever constellation of reasons you find spanking to be sexually exciting, you are certainly not alone and we don’t think you need to understand why in order to simply enjoy it. What we do know is that once someone gets excited about spanking, the fantasy is usually very persistent and it is very much worth exploring your desire for spanking as part of your adult sex life.
Before you even start thinking about planning your next spanking experience, try having a conversation with your lover about what you both find hot about spanking. What specific elements of a spanking scenario are exciting to you? If you fantasize about spanking, what do those fantasies look like? Try to identify the specific elements that you find hot and articulate your desire to your lover. This isn’t always easy, but highly increases the chances that you will get what you want out of your erotic spanking experience.
Ready to explore the thrills of erotic spanking?