Pleasure Mechanics

Explicit Monogamy Agreements

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What does monogamy mean to you? What counts as cheating and infidelity? Have you ever had a conversation about monogamy with your partner, or do you just assume that you both know what it means?

Assumptions about monogamy can lead to a lot of misunderstanding, emotional drama and even divorce. What defines infidelity is way too important to leave to assumptions and cultural scripts – especially now in the age of technology that allows someone to cheat on their partner while in the same room. Dating apps, online porn, webcam chats, fetish forums and all sorts of other temptations are just a click away. Expecting your partner to know where your boundaries are without ever discussing them is bound to end badly.

Instead of assuming you know what monogamy means to your relationship, have an explicit conversation about monogamy and come up with an explicit monogamy agreement. In this episode, we walk you through that process and discuss why this is an essential conversation for every relationship.

Want a FREE interactive worksheet to guide you in having these essential conversations? Click here to get your free download. 

This episode was inspired by The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel. Esther Perel’s new book on infidelity is an excellent and provocative exploration of issues that affect all long term relationships.

Resources To Check Out:

The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel

The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity by Tammy Nelson PhD

How To Have An Affair With Your Spouse

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Get all the benefits of cheating – without infidelity. Here’s how to harness the excitement and thrills of an affair – with your spouse!

In this episode we invite you into the fantasy game of planning (and maybe even having!) an affair with your spouse. This can be a fantasy only mind game or a full blown seduction of your spouse.

Affairs are exciting for a reason. People tend to put enormous amounts of creativity and energy into thinking about and having affairs. Who would you want to have an affair with? How would you get away with cheating? Where would you meet? What kind of sex would you have? What kinds of emails and phone calls would you sneak away to share? How would you feel after a wild tryst if you knew you would never be caught?

Yet many people don’t want to have an affair. Many people love their spouse too much to risk breaking their heart – even if they are sexually frustrated. So here’s another plan: have an affair with your spouse. Bring all of that same creative energy and start seducing your spouse into sneaking kisses, romantic emails and getaways filled with passionate sex.

In this episode we explore how to have an affair with your spouse, so you can get the thrills of an affair without the cheating!