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Fetish Sex

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Fetish Sex :: Free Podcast Episode

In this podcast, we share an excerpt from Violet Blue’s Fetish Sex: A Complete Guide To Sexual Fetishes

You can check out more of Violet Blue’s writing on her website, tinynibbles.com

What Is Fetish Sex?

Fetish sex is any erotic activity that involves a fetish. A fetish is any body part, object or activity that creates a sharp spike of arousal. More common fetishes include foot fetish, breast fetish and object fetishes like high heels or latex outfits. There are thousands of fetishes. Most fetishes are totally healthy and enjoying fetish sex is a normal part of the range of human sexual expression.

How Do I Know If I Have A Sexual Fetish?

Some people know about their interest in fetish sex from a very early age. Others have an “aha!” moment during adulthood. Most people report a sharp spike in arousal and sexual fixation. Usually people explore fetish sex as part of fantasy before trying it out in real life.

How Can I Begin To Explore Fetish Sex?

When you are ready to begin exploring, check out our Kinky Sex Mastery Course! We guide you, step by step, in the adventure of mastering kinky sex skills. You’ll learn everything from intense sensation play to erotic power games, while gaining all the tools you need to stay safe and strengthen your relationship.

Sex During Pregnancy

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Sex During Pregnancy :: Free Podcast Episode

Have questions about sex during pregnancy? Most pregnant couples do! Listen to the podcast for all of our best advice about sex during pregnancy (just hit the “play” button at the top of this page to start listening!)

Sex During Pregnancy: Is It Safe?

The short answer is yes! Sex during pregnancy is totally safe (continue to practice safer sex behaviors to avoid sexually transmitted infections, of course!) Sex during pregnancy won’t hurt the baby, bump it’s head with the penis or otherwise disturb the pregnancy. In most cases, sex during pregnancy is quite healthy and if it makes the pregnant woman happy, the baby benefits too! As her belly grows, you may have to get creative to find positions that feel good for both of you.

If you have any concerns about the medical issues with sex during pregnancy, ask your doctor. Trust us, they’ve heard every question there is about sex during pregnancy and you won’t shock them!

Sex During Pregnancy: How Much? What Kind?

Ultimately, it has to be the pregnant partner’s call about how much sex and what kind of sex happens during her pregnancy. Some women get really horny and others have zero appetite for sex. Sometimes it changes week to week. Let her decide how much sex she wants, knowing the full range is possible and totally normal!

Sex During Pregnancy: Does She Feel Sexy? Is It Ok To Fetishize Her Pregnant Body?

Some women never feel sexier than when they are pregnant. Others feel terrible about their changing body. We believe it is important that partners of pregnant women offer lots of praise and gratitude for the body that is incubating a child. But if she isn’t feeling sexy, being appreciated for her pregnant body might be more annoying than it is supportive. So again, follow her lead. Is she feeling sexy? Shower her with sexy praise! Not feeling so hot? Offer praise that emphasizes her strength and womanliness rather than how sexy you think she is.

Tune into the podcast for even more advice about sex during pregnancy, including:

how to make sure the partner’s sexual needs are met during pregnancy
what to do when you start feeling the baby’s presence in bed with you!
how to strengthen your relationship during pregnancy to prepare for the changes that come with the baby!
how to communicate to minimize drama and maximize connection during pregnancy and beyond

Just hit the “play” button above to listen in!

Have pregnant friends? Send them this episode – we promise you they’ll thank you later!

Simply copy and paste the message below:

Hey there,
I came across this podcast episode and thought it might be useful for you guys right now. The Pleasure Mechanics are a two woman team who do an awesome podcast on intimacy and relationships, and this one is all about intimacy during pregnancy! Thought I’d pass it on! Here’s the link: www.pleasuremechanics.com/sex-during-pregnancy/

Ecstasy Is Necessary

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Ecstasy Is Necessary :: Free Podcast Episode

This podcast features an excerpt from Ecstasy Is Necessary by Barbara Carrellas

Pleasure Mechanic Charlotte writes:

We all crave ecstasy, whether or not we acknowledge it or name it that way. We each crave peak high experiences in life, and frankly I believe feel a bit bland if we don’t experience these moments in life. I believe when we honor the fact that we do indeed crave and want peak, awesome, ecstatic moments we can be more mindful about intentionally crafting them for ourselves and those around us.

Each one of us finds our ecstasy in different ways, from different sources, and we each have to be explorers to figure out what makes us feel awesome. And then it is up to us to try and create more of those experiences. If we don’t, we often seek out “faux ecstasies” as Barbara calls them, these toxic mimics that don’t truly satisfy our desires for these highs whether that is overeating, over using drugs or whatever your particular vice may be.

Giving yourself permission to enjoy what makes you really happy, feel pleasure or even ecstasy is an essential skill to develop for a fulfilling life. And we know from watching hundreds of people make changes in their life, and now science is supporting this idea that the more you feel pleasure, the easier it is to feel, the quicker and bigger the response is in your body. So slowly, choice by choice allowing yourself to feel more pleasure in life will allow you to feel more ecstasy in bed. Guaranteed.

Now, what makes you feel ecstatic? For me right now in my life it’s moving my body outside in the woods, hills or by rivers, giving and receiving erotic massage, eating gorgeous (rich, buttery!) food with people I love, having dance parties, stretching, cuddling, dancing and laughing with my daughter and wife. And I make time for these kinds of activities, in fact my life is filled mostly with these activities and I eliminate as much other stuff as possible so I make sure I have time for these ecstatic life pleasures. It makes me enjoy my life. And I’m certain my orgasms are all the stronger for it!

What lights you up, what makes you feel like you are living the most awesome life. If you are not sure, explore, figure it out and then do more of it, and watch your orgasms come quicker and harder. And then tell us about it.

And of course if you want support in having your orgasms be stronger and more ecstatic, be sure to check out our Foreplay Mastery Online Course, it gives you the tools to explore sexual ecstasy with your partner through experiences like erotic massage and extended foreplay.

Love Sex Again

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Love Sex Again :: Free Podcast Episode

Do you remember what it feels like to love sex? To look forward to making love? To daydream about being hot and sweaty under the sheets with your lover?

For so many of us, those days are in the past, confined to our sexier youth when we had less stress, fewer responsibilities and less worry.

If you are in love with your sex life right now, fabulous. Get ready to fall even more in love!

But if you have fallen out of love with sex, if it has become routine or boring, let’s explore how to fall in love with sex again.

Love Sex Again: How To

To be in love with sex again, you need to make one solemn vow to yourself: never have sex you don’t want to have. Some experts say it is ok to have unwanted sex to appease your partner, but we say absolutely not. Especially when it comes to any kind of penetration, your body knows when it is being violated. Unwanted sex quickly leads to resentment and makes it harder to get turned on down the road. If your partner is in the mood and you are not, encourage them to masturbate (in front of you or alone) and wait until you are truly in the mood to engage. You can’t fool your body when it comes to unwanted sex, so to have a sex life you truly love, only participate when you are authentically enjoying yourself.

Perhaps the most important step in loving sex is making sure the sex you are having is highly arousing and pleasurable! Everything we do here at Pleasure Mechanics is designed to make your sex life more pleasurable, so put our resources to work to make sure your sex is as orgasmic as possible.

This might mean learning couples massage so you can relax and let go of stress, or it might mean mastering the art of foreplay so you can get fully turned on. Or maybe you are ready to create your own adventure in the realm of kinky sex.

Whatever you need to do to make your sex life arousing and orgasmic, we are here to guide you every step of the way. You can’t love sex if the sex you are having is less than satisfying! We believe everyone can level up their sex life and make it more pleasurable. How can we help you love sex even more?

Love Sex Again: Release Toxic Emotions

The next step in falling in love with sex again is confronting shame and guilt. No matter how sex positive you are, we all have residual shame and guilt that block us from loving sex as much as we could. So your job is rooting out these toxins and purging them from your system. Shame and guilt come in many disguises: body shame (too fat, too thin, too small, too large, too hairy, too old), guilt about receiving too much pleasure (Am I taking too long? I feel selfish being the focus of attention! Is my partner getting bored?) shame about enjoying sex (what kind of woman does this make me? Am I a slut? I shouldn’t want this so badly!) When you start recognizing and confronting the shame and guilt you carry, you can start releasing it and make room for even more pleasure. This is an ongoing task, as you discover new levels of toxic emotions and confront deeper emotions. Keep doing the work and keep discovering just how much you can learn to love sex!

As you confront personal levels of guilt and shame, you will also come across the cultural messages about what it means to love sex. In a culture that doesn’t respect sexuality, we are taught that loving sex makes us hedonistic, selfish, trashy and even worthless. Women are especially prone to these messages, but men have their own coded judgements about being “players” or “thinking with their small head.” We are told that to love sex is morally degrading. To truly fall in love with sex we need to transform these messages and actively embrace the idea that good sex is healthy, positive and uplifting. To love sex we need to value sex and it’s place in our relationships and spiritual lives.

Finally, as you fall in love with sex again start asking yourself what it means to love pleasure and sex outside of the bedroom. What does being a sex positive person mean in the rest of your life? How does inviting and enjoying pleasure change your mood and the experience of your days? How does it change how you live, how you communicate with your friends, how you prioritize your time and energy?

Go ahead, fall in love with sex again. Allow yourself to open up to the pleasures and excitement of loving sex and loving your sex life!

Healthy Fucking

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Healthy Fucking :: Free Podcast Episode
What is the difference between having sex, making love and fucking? The same physical acts can create very different subjective experiences. Many of us crave more fucking, but don’t know quite how to get there.

Passionate Marriage is one of the best books about sex and relationships that we’ve ever come across, and the entire book is well worth reading.

Get your free Audible version of Passionate Marriage by clicking here!

After exploring many facets of sexual intimacy, David Schnarch turns his attention to the experience of fucking, and why so many people find it harder to fuck their spouse than a stranger.

Here are some excerpts from this exploration of healthy fucking:

Fucking involves a unique tone of engagement and experience. People who know it know when they feel it – and with whom they feel it. To those who like it, it’s often more important than orgasm itself. Fucking embodies a lusty, lascivious eagerness for pleasure… a delicious, desirous wantonness. It is the opposite of crudeness; it is sex embellished with erotic virtuosity. There is deliberate intent to arouse (and satisfy) passion. Fucking makes for intense sexual encounters.

Fucking involves doing and being done – as in doing your partner and being done by him or her. It’s the doing and being done that some crave and others fear. It involves energy exchange through patterns of coordinated stimulation and role behaviors.

Do you know what it feels like when somebody’s doing you – not just bringing you to orgasm or having intercourse but really doing you? Do you know what it feels like to do somebody else?

Fucking is the subjective experience of doing each other and being done simultaneously.

Many people, male or female, have a hard time cranking loose their eroticism with the person they married.

The real issue here is potency, in this case manifested as sexual intent.

In marriage, sexual intent can involve love, caretaking, mutuality and nurturance, among others. We so rarely address sexual intent that we never think of fucking as loving (in fact, many think of it as “debased sex” and the farthest thing from making love). We think love and caring lead to desire for tender sex, but we don’t associate these with the carnivorous intent involved with doing your partner. The only part we think is involved in fucking is people’s “dark” side.

This brings us to the other issue noted above: what “kind” of aggression is involved? Society may accept that anger can be healthy – but not when it’s mixed with sex. Becuase sexualied aggression too often fuels degradation, abuse, and rape, all forms of it have been banished from the bed. The problem is that healthy aggression plays a role in healthy fucking.

Think of it as a productive way to use pent-up energy in the relationship. Having sex with as much energy as you expend at the gym is good for you physically and emotionally, and much better for your relationship. People don’t have sex to the point of exhaustion the same way they do in their workouts, but it would probably help everything if they did.

Get your free Audible version of Passionate Marriage by clicking here!

Your challenge: Fantasize about what it means to fuck. How does it feel in comparison to making love? Do you crave fucking more in your relationship? If so, what steps can you take to open up to healthy fucking?