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Psychopathia Sexualis and You

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Psychopathia Sexualis And You :: Free Podcast EpisodeRichard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing was a prominent German psychologist and forensic expert who published Psychopathia Sexualis in 1886. This was a European best seller, went into over a dozen editions in the author’s lifetime, and the book is now considered one of the first texts in sexology, the scientific study of sexuality.

He worked in asylums and his case studies were mostly of the criminally insane. He studied the sexual behaviors of his inmates and created categories to understand the patterns he witnessed. His interpretations of their sexual behavior became the first textbook of early sexology and created categories of sexual deviance that are still with us today. The book was aimed at doctors and lawyers who wanted to diagnose and criminalize specific types of sexual deviance.

The book popularized the terms sadism (derived from the sexual behavior depicted in the novels of Marquis de Sade) and masochism (derived from the name of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, author of Venus In Furs, an erotic story about male submission to a woman) and outlined the many variations of these patterns.

During this early period of sexology, doctors also began shifting focus away from abnormal behaviors (what people did) to categorizing people into identity categories (who people are.) It was suggested that sexual deviance was an inborn disorder rather than a simple behavior.

Categories of sexual deviance were created so that individuals could be diagnosed, treated and discussed. It is interesting to note that, because it was so explicit and a veritable catalog of sexual deviance, the book’s title page declares that “ The sale of the book is rigidly restricted to the members of the medical and legal professions.

In the introduction he writes:

The object of this treatise is merely to record the
various psychopathological manifestations of sexual life in
man and to reduce them to their lawful conditions. This
task is bj no means an easy one, and the author is well
aware of the fact that, despite his (varied) far-reaching
experience in psychiatry and criminal medicine, he is yet
unable to offer anything but an imperfected system.

The importance of the subject, however, demands
scientific research on account of its forensic bearing and
its deep influence upon the common weal. The medical
barrister only then finds out how sad the lack of our
knowledge is in the domain of sexuality when he is called
upon to express an opinion as to the responsibility of the
accused whose life, liberty and honour are at stake. He
then begins to appreciate the efforts that have been made
to bring light into darkness.

Like most scientists of his time, Krafft-Ebing considered procreation the purpose of sexual desire and thought that any form of recreational sex was a perversion of the sex drive. “With opportunity for the natural satisfaction of the sexual instinct, every expression of it that does not correspond with the purpose of nature, propagation,must be regarded as perverse.”

The first chapter of the book begins:

The propagation of the human race is not left to mere
accident or the caprices of the individual, but is guaran-
teed by the hidden laws of nature which are enforced by
a mighty, irresistible impulse. Sensual enjoyment and
physical fitness are not the only conditions for the en-
forcement of these laws, but higher motives and aims,
such as the desire to continue the species or Ihe individu-
ality of mental and physical qualities beyond time and
space, exert a considerable influence. Man puts himself
at once on a level with the beast if he seeks to gratify
lust alone, but he elevates his superior position when by
curbing the animal desire he combines with the sexual
functions ideas of morality, of the sublime, and the beau-
tiful.

If man were deprived of sexual distinction and the
nobler enjoyments arising therefrom, all poetry and prob-
ably all moral tendency would be eliminated from his life.

Sexual life no doubt is the one mighty factor in the
individual and social relations of man which disclose his
powers of activity, of acquiring property, of establishing a
homo, of awakening altruistic sentiments towards a person
of the opposite sex, and towards his own issue as well as
towards the whole human race.

 

He defined sadism as lust aroused by cruelty, and masochism aslust aroused by being the object of cruelty.

Coupled with perversions of sexual life and sexual im-
becility springing from the same degenerated soil, often
with the aiding influence of alcohol, the most monstrous and
horrible sexual excesses (cf. Sadism) are perpetrated
which would disgrace humanity at large, could they be
committed by normal man.

The commission of these atrocious acts by degenerated
and partially defective individuals is the outcome of an ir-
resistible impulse or delirium. The mechanism of these
actions is indeed the property of psychical degeneration.

By masochism I understand a peculiar perversion of
the psychical vita sexualis in which the individual affected,
in sexual feeling and thought, is controlled by the idea of
being completely and unconditionally subject to the will
of a person of the opposite sex; of being treated by this
person as by a master, humiliated and abused.

This understanding of sadism and masochism persisted for over a century.

Because we live in a sexually violent culture with widespread sexual abuse, it is essential to differentiate between people who are enjoying actually hurting others and those who enjoy playing with consensual power exchange with another healthy adult.

For this reason, we don’t like to use the terms sadomasochism, sadist or masochist to describe consensual kink. We believe making the distinction between cruelty and kink is essential to releasing the stigma associated with kinky sex.

It has been over 125 years since Psychopathia Sexualis described the disorders of sadism and masochism, and the medical field applied this diagnosis to anyone who expressed an interest in kinky sex, whether or not it was consensual. This failure to differentiate between truly criminal behavior (rape, torture, non-consensual power games) and consensual kinky sex created tremendous stigma for healthy kinky adults.

The stigma associated with kinky sex, much like the stigma around homosexuality, created an underground subculture that only now is becoming more public. The kinky community was forced to stay very private, and individuals faced discrimination and judgement if they came out in public as kinky.

In the 1970’s a few brave pioneers began coming out as kinky and establishing themselves as leaders and advocates for the kink community.

In the late 1980’s members of the BDSM community began organizing to end the stigma associated with being interested in kinky sex. Race Bannon and Guy Baldwin (amongst others) took on the immense task of educating therapists about consensual kinky sex.

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom got on board, offering education to therapists, police officers and other professionals about the difference between kink and abuse.

“A sexual sadist practices on non-consenting people,” explains NCSF founder Susan Wright, while “someone who is kinky is having consensual enthusiastically desired sex.”

The idea that kinky sex was a sign of mental illness was oficially on the books until 2010, when the American Psychiatric Association announced that it would be changing the diagnostic codes for BDSM, fetishism, and transvestic fetishism (a variant of cross-dressing) in the next edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), published in 2013.

Now, in 2015, we are still only at the beginning of recognizing kinky sex behaviors as part of the spectrum of normal and healthy sexual expression.

Many people still understand kinky behavior as “deviant” or “perverted.” These attitudes are firmly rooted in the history of sexual medicine that draws upon texts such as the 1886 publication Psychopathia Sexualis. We must ask ourselves if we want our sexual ethics based on a manual from a 19th century insane asylum or if it is time for a new understanding of human sexual expression.

You Are Kinky

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You Are Kinky :: Free Podcast EpisodeAre you bored in bed?

Stuck in a routine?

Longing for the days of thrilling sex and passionate connection?

If so, you are not alone. Most of the emails we receive tell the same story: boredom, ruts and long lost libidos.

Here’s the truth: there is a proven path to more pleasure, and it is available to you right now.

That path? Kink. And whether or not you already know it, you are kinky.

Not everyone is into handcuffs and pain in bed. Not everyone wants to be tied up and spanked. But everyone has a little bit of kink inside their erotic soul, just waiting to come out.

Our new course, Kinky Sex Mastery, is your guided tour into the adventure of kinky sex. We guide you every step of the way so you can explore the thrills of kink while staying safe and strengthening your relationship.

But what does it mean to be kinky?

Here’s how we define Kinky Sex:

  • Kink is everything beyond the standard script of romantic intercourse driven sex
  • Kink includes intense sensation play, roleplaying and erotic power play.
  • Kink is an attitude, a willingness to explore and have fun with sex outside the box
  • “The box” is what culture tells us is permissible, shame-free sex. This changes over time. Right now culture is a little confused about what is in and out as more people come out of the closet about enjoying a wide range of sex play.

We all have cravings, interests and turn-ons that don’t fit into our standard sexual script. But very few people take action and actively explore kinky sex.

After talking to hundreds of men and women about kinky sex, here are the top reasons people don’t explore kink:

  • want to explore but don’t know how to get started
  • don’t want to feel silly,
  • don’t want to hurt your lover,
  • don’t want to break trust and lose their partner’s respect
  • partner not interested
  • scared of losing control
  • scared “vanilla” sex will never be satisfying again

Here is the truth: human sexuality is wildly creative, diverse and surprising. We are capable of being aroused by just about anything, and using that arousal for pure orgasmic fun or profound emotional connection.

For centuries, we’ve been sold the lie that “good” and “normal” sexuality consists of just a few basic sex acts performed within a reproductive marriage. Finally, we are realizing that this limiting view is not only incorrect but damaging. Most of us are suffering in silence with desires we don’t understand and longings that remain unfulfilled.

Finally, kinky sex is being unleashed out of the shadows of shame. We are slowly giving ourselves permission to explore “out of the box” sexuality. But this leap isn’t easy. In fact, for many people, it is scary to confront their own desires and ask their partner to try something new.

That’s where we come in. When you are ready to take the first step towards a lifetime of kinky adventures, enroll in our Kinky Sex Mastery course. Then, we will guide you every step of the way as you build the skills you need to safely and securely play with the thrills of kink. Over the course of 25 date nights, we give you everything you need to discover your desires, communicate with your partner and start getting hands-on experience with kinky skills.

You’ll find that exploring kinky sex not only gives you access to a whole new world of arousal and erotic experiences, it will also strengthen your relationship. You’ll discover surprising new sides to one another, remember what it feels like to be excited again, and develop advanced communication skills that will serve you in and out of the bedroom.

A Billion Wicked Thoughts Part Two

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Ogi Ogas Interview Part 2

This is Part 2 of our interview with Ogi Ogas.

Click here for Part 1 of our interview with Ogi Ogas, co-author of A Billion Wicked Thoughts

Billion Wicked Thoughts :: Interview with author Ogi Ogas

Grab your free audiobook copy of A Billion Wicked Thoughts here

A Billion Wicked Thoughts

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A Billion Wicked Thoughts : Interview with author Ogi Ogas

A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What The Internet Tells Us About Sexual Relationships

Get your FREE audiobook version of A Billion Wicked Thoughts here!

A Billion Wicked Thoughts : Interview with author Ogi Ogas

Together with his co-author Sai Gaddam, Dr. Ogi Ogas analyzed a billion web searches, a million Web sites, a million erotic videos, a million erotic stories, millions of personal ads, tens of thousands of digitized romance novels, and much more. The results? Stunning data on the nature of desire and fantasy, gathered together in the amazing book A Billion Wicked Thoughts.

Ogi Ogas received his Ph.D. in computational neuroscience from Boston University, where he designed mathematical models of learning, memory, and vision. Ogi was also a Department of Homeland Security Fellow and conducted biodefense research at MIT Lincoln Laboratory.

He used cognitive techniques from his brain research to win half a million dollars on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.

Ogi brought all of his skills to investigating one of the biggest mysteries in human history: what exactly arouses men and women? What are our true desires, unfiltered by the social forces of shame and secrecy?

Billion Wicked Thoughts :: Interview with author Ogi Ogas

How To Strip Dance For Yourself

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Strip Dance For Yourself :: Free Podcast Episode

How To Strip Dance – For Yourself!

Charlotte on Sheila Kelley’s S Factor Strip Dance Practice: 

What I love about Sheila Kelley’s work is that she has developed a safe, pleasurable practice that guides women in cultivating and activating feeling sexy through teaching women how to strip and pole dance.

During her in-person stripping classes you do movements in a room with other women. There are no mirrors and the room is flooded with candlelight. She follows the idea that you practice being in your erotic body for yourself first and then later choose to share your sexiness with your lover or not.

This is a philosophy that here at the Pleasure Mechanics we wholeheartedly believe in. I have one of her teaching videos, and Chris and I went to a class in LA, and I really like her teaching. In a field where there are a lot of fakers, I consider what I know of her work the real deal.

In our culture we aren’t taught how to feel sexy or sensual in our bodies. We are bombarded with how to look sexy through the marketing of a million products but how to feel sexy is often confusing for women as if you aren’t feeling it, feeling sexy can feel unreachable sometimes. I believe feeling sexy has to come from feeling good in our body, no matter what size we are, no matter what we look like. And that we can cultivate practices and ways of being in the world so we know how to feel sexy when we want to. I find dance and movement to be an essential tool in this, and Sheila is teaching a particular path.

I love this phrase about getting into a state where you can follow your own “physical and sensual intuition”, this is important I think. It is a state that I love to be in. I have developed ease at getting into this state by giving massage and dancing for thousands of hours in my lifetime. It is a state where you learn to pay attention to your body’s intuition, your inner cues of how to move next and then follow that until you get your next direction from your body’s intuition. Cultivating this inner knowing is an important part of feeling sexy. Dancing and moving is a wonderful, fun, safe pathway to activating this body intuition and cultivating the state of feeling sexy privately.

I believe so much of women’s power is stored in our hips. When we move the hips we unlock chronic tension so more blood and energy flow can reach this magical, mysterious part of our body. The waking up of this area can make us feel more alive, feel more sexual pleasure and make our orgasms feel stronger and better.

There are a couple of challenges for you this week depending on your level of interest.

One option is to put a song on in the privacy of your own home and circle your hips and see how it feels in your body.

Hip circles are essential for unlocking tension in your hips and is a wonderful easy, accessible practice for all of us women to do.

Do hip circles for the entire song, or do that movement until your body tells you it wants to do another move. Follow that. Just experiment with one song, then do more if you feel like it. This is one step towards beginning to listen to your physical and sensual intuition.

Another option is to watch the videos below of everyday women who practice S Factor dancing and stripping with a pole and see how graceful, beautiful and powerful it can look and feel.

S Factor has retreats and classes in a few cities in the States. If you are brave and have the resources I recommend going and trying them. Or try getting one of their videos. Either way I hope you explore dancing as a fun, safe way to connect to your body’s intuition and your own sexiness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLL6yH0PoYQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs35-rHdKaQ

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