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Sharing Your Desires With A Defensive Partner

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Sharing Your Desires With a Defensive Partner

Sometimes, spicing things up in a long term relationship isn’t so easy.

What happens when your requests to try something new in the bedroom are met with hostility and anger?

In this episode, we offer some advice to a listener who wants to try new things and improve her sex life, but when she asks for what she wants her husband becomes defensive.

We suggest some erotic communication aikido to transform the situation into an opportunity for more connection and intimacy, while keeping her own boundaries intact and respecting her needs and desires.

Don’t Like Sex? Here’s What Might Be Going On!

Wife Doesn't Enjoy Sex

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A listener named Ryan called in with a very personal question. Nearly every time he tries to pleasure his wife, she responds by cringing and saying “ouch” or giggling. He tries to be a sensitive lover but she never seems to be able to relax and enjoy his touch.

We give Ryan, and everyone else who has a partner who can’t seem to enjoy sex, lots of advice and strategies to try to have a more spontaneous and pleasurable sex life. Our intuition leads us to believe there may be something going on beyond the relationship, a hidden cause for the hypersensitivity Ryan’s wife experiences.

This emotionally charged episode is a must-listen for anyone who has struggled to stay present during sex or had a partner who responds to touch in unexpected ways.

Update:

The day after we posted this episode, we received an email from Ryan thanking us for our response. Turns out our intuition is pretty accurate. Thanks to Ryan for trusting us with this issue, and we certainly hope that some of our suggested strategies create more pleasure and intimacy for him and his wife.

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Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

Couples Massage Mastery

Healing Sex by Staci Haines (In the podcast I use the original title, The Survivor’s Guide to Sex – that’s how long this book has been an essential part of my library!)

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Wife Doesn’t Want Sex? Here’s What To Do!

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Wife Doesn't Want Sex? Here's What To Do!

It is very common for one person in a relationship to want sex when the other isn’t in the mood.

Mismatched libidos can quickly turn a relationship sour.

In this episode, we answer a listener’s question about what to do when her husband wants sex and she isn’t up for intercourse.

We offer lots of great strategies for keeping intimacy alive even when intercourse isn’t an option.

Pleasure Mechanics Guides Mentioned In This Episode:

Foreplay Mastery

Couples Massage Mastery

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