50+ Free Sex Questions and Conversation Starters For Intimate Conversations
Great questions are just one part of erotic communication – which includes a whole set of skills to tune into your own body, know what you want and how to ask for it!
Because erotic communication is one of the most important skills for sexual fulfillment and healthy relationships, we have put together an interactive resource guide on erotic communication – available here or as part of a Pleasure Pod membership.
Questions About Growing Up & Learning About Sex
- Where did you learn about sex when you were a kid?
- What were you taught about masturbation as a child?
- Who was one of your first celebrity crushes? What attracted you to them?
- What is something you believed as a kid that you now know is a myth?
- What were you taught about love and marriage?
- Who were the happiest adults you knew as a kid?
- How did your family talk about LGBTQ+ issues?
- Have you ever been to or been in a pride parade?
- Who was one of the first queer people you met?
- How did your family deal with conflict? What did repair look like?
- What big emotions were safe in your family? Which were not allowed?
- What were some of your first sexual experiences? Were they wanted?
- Who did you talk to about your first sexual experiences? How did they respond, and how did their response impact you?
- If you could go back and tell your 6 year old self anything, what would you say?
Questions About Sexuality, Culture & Identity
- What do you think an ideal sex culture would look like?
- Why do you think sexuality has been oppressed over history?
- Do you think humans are meant to be monogamous? Why or why not?
- What words do you use to describe your gender identity and sexual orientation? What other words have you used in your life?
- What do you think should be included in all sex education for kids? for teens? for adults?
Questions About Love & Relationships
- What drew you to me when we first met?
- What values are most important to you in our relationship?
- What is your love language and what are some examples of how you most feel loved?
- What is one of your favorite memories of our first few years?
- What about our relationship are you most grateful for?
- How can I be a better partner to you?
- What is one simple thing I could do for you to express my love?
- What do you need most when you feel stressed? sad? angry? worried?
- When in the past year have you felt most loved?
- What would the chapters in The Story Of Us be named?
- What songs would be on the soundtrack of your life story? our love story?
Questions About Fantasies & Desires
- How do you think about the difference between Fantasies and Desires?
- What is one thing you find hot in fantasy but don’t actually want to explore in real life?
- What is one thing you want to experience more of in real life?
- What is something you’ve always wanted to try but never had the chance?
- What is one of your Peak Erotic Experiences?
- What do you think is one of the hottest scenes in a movie and why?
- What Do You Want Right Now?
Questions To Ask Before An Erotic Encounter
- What are you into?
- Is there anything I can do to make you feel safe?
- Is there anything in your past you want me to know about?
- Do we need a safe word?
- How will we be practicing safe sex?
- What does this mean to you?
- Do you want this?
Questions To Ask During An Erotic Encounter
- Will you tell me when this feels just right?
- Would you like me to go deeper/slower/faster or is this good?
- What would make this feel even better right now?
Questions To Ask After An Erotic Encounter
- Can I bring you some water, a snack or anything else?
- What are you aware of?
- What were your favorite moments?
- Did you feel overwhelmed at any point?
- What was the most exciting moment for you?
- Was there anything you wanted more of but didn’t ask for?
- What could have made it even better?
Conversation Starters About Giving & Receiving:
- What was the best gift you received as a kid?
- What was one of the best gifts you ever gave to someone else?
- What is a gift you wanted as a kid and never received?
- In your professional life, do you think that you Give or Receive more frequently?
- What is your favorite kind of massage to receive: foot, shoulder or hand?
- Which is easier for you in general, Giving or Receiving?
- When you are sick how do you like to be taken care of?
- Would you rather receive a love letter or be made a homemade meal?
- What is your favorite position for cuddling?
- Would you rather go on a weekend getaway or receive an expensive romantic gift?
- If you had $500 to spend on a date, what would you do?
- If you had three hours and $0 for a date, what would you do?