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As we accept our nomination as finalist for a Sexual Freedom Award, we had the chance to reflect on the really big question: What Is Sexual Freedom? In this episode, we invite you to reflect on sexual freedom – both as an individual and what it means as a global project of social justice.
Big love and thanks to the folks at the Sexual Freedom Awards, we are thrilled to be finalists for Publicist of the Year for the 25th Annual Sexual Freedom Awards!
Podcast transcripts are generated with love by humans, and thus may not be 100% accurate. Time stamps are included so you can cross reference or jump to any point in the podcast episode above. THANKS to the members of our Pleasure Pod for helping make transcripts and the rest of our free offerings happen! If you love what we offer, find ways to show your love and dive deeper with us here: SHOW SOME LOVE
Chris Rose: 00:00 Welcome to Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics. I’m Chris.
Charlotte Rose: 00:04 I’m Charlotte.
Chris Rose: 00:05 We are the Pleasure Mechanics. And on this podcast we have soulful, explicit conversations about every element of human sexuality. Come on over to pleasuremechanics.com where you will find all of our resources waiting for you. Go to pleasure mechanics.com/free to enroll in our free online course and get started right away. And if you’ve been listening to this show for a while and have felt our work touch your life, go to pleasuremechanics.com/love where you will find multiple ways to show your love and support for this show.
Chris Rose: 00:43 Thank you for listening. We are feeling the love this week, amazing love because we were notified that we were nominated for a sexual freedom awards as part of the 25th Annual Sexual Freedom Awards ceremony in London next week. We so wish we could be at the ceremony, but it’s so meaningful to us to be nominated for this award that for 25 years has been recognizing pioneers and visionaries and artists in the field of sexuality.
Chris Rose: 01:20 And if you look at the nominees for this year alone or throughout the 25 year history of this organization, it’s a wonderful reminder that there are so many front lines of the movement we call sexual liberation or sexual freedom. There’s artists and erotic performers, there’s academics and teachers, there’s scientific researchers and social commentators. And we have been nominated as publicist of the year. And I love this category because sometimes I do feel like I am a PR agent for a healthy sex culture.
Chris Rose: 02:02 It’s like we’re reporting from the front lines of sex culture today and also envisioning what a new sex culture could look like together. So whether it was called publisher or producer or a podcast of the year, we’re just so honored to be part of this community, engaging with the very real ideas and actions and community movements that work towards erotic liberation and sexual freedom for all beings.
Charlotte Rose: 02:35 It’s such a big and bold mission and it’s been really beautiful to see all the different ways that people are contributing to that goal, and all the different flavors and styles and passion and power and creativity that people are bringing to this end. And we are thrilled to be a part of it.
Chris Rose: 02:55 And a part of what? So what does sexual freedom mean? This question was thrown in our lap this week through the nomination process. We were asked to respond to the question, what does sexual freedom mean to you in 2019. And it’s such a beautiful question, a huge question, a daunting question, and we threw it back out to our communities on different social media platforms and it was really wonderful to engage with this question this week. And so for the episode this week, we wanted to have a little conversation about this big question.
Chris Rose: 03:34 What does sexual freedom mean? Why is it worth working towards? How is it connected with the global movements of equity and social justice just as it is connected to what happens in your bedroom and your genitals in your body, right? I think inherent in this question of what is sexual freedom, some of our most immediate answers might be very personal. Freedom from shame and from secrecy, freedom to live and love and fuck how we want to, individual sexual freedom.
Chris Rose: 04:16 But then immediately on the heels of that, we recognize this is a social movement and in fact, a global project of epic proportions for any of us to be truly free, for any of us to experience sexual freedom we need freedom from the systems of oppression and human bondage and injustice that rob us of individual body autonomy and body sovereignty.
Charlotte Rose: 04:48 For the conditions to exist that all bodies could have body sovereignty, the world would have to change entirely for that to be so, and it is a worthwhile aim to work towards. It will probably never happen in our lifetime, but it is worth moving towards.
Chris Rose: 05:06 Medicine’s doing wonderful things nowadays my dear.
Charlotte Rose: 05:09 I’m sticking around to see it.
Chris Rose: 05:10 And this has been an organizing question of my life, right? What would the world look like if we had an ideal sex culture? So as much as anything, it’s a thought experiment of going into this question and wondering, what does sexual freedom mean? What does it feel like? What would it feel like in your individual body and then what would the world look like if more and more of us had access to that state of sexual freedom? So this is such an amazing question and we are not going to even take aim at answering it today more.
Chris Rose: 05:48 We just want to open the question and remind us all of this connection and just invite us to connect the dots between our individual access to pleasure, to fucking, to orgasms, to genitals, right? Like all of that really practical stuff of sex and sexual pleasure, how we can show up for that, the freedom we feel in expressing ourselves, in feeling our feelings. What is the connection between that and global systems of economy, global systems of racial justice, global systems of how we take care of one another as societies and as we explore different ways of occupying our sexualities, thinking about sharing pleasure, sharing power and resources and…
Charlotte Rose: 06:49 Connection.
Chris Rose: 06:51 Thanks for jumping in here, I am off the deep end.
Charlotte Rose: 06:54 Reel me in my love.
Chris Rose: 06:57 What was I saying? As we learn this through showing up for one another in our most intimate realms, we are modeling new ways of being together in the collective, in the biggest sense of humans on this planet together.
Charlotte Rose: 07:13 Totally. If we can live in our intimate realms without being burdened by the scripts of shame or the scripts of gender, the constrain how we can be with one another, we can begin to experience more sexual freedom in these micro moments where we feel the safest. And then from those moments we can begin to change things in a community setting, in our workplace. We can show up with a bit more strength and authenticity and feeling less shame. And that can influence an impact, a larger goal if we are all doing this.
Chris Rose: 07:53 And for now it’s enough just to think about this question of how sexually free are you. So as you think about your individual sexual freedom, there’s these lenses we can think of, the freedom from and freedom to. So freedom from being owned and dominated, freedom from your body being controlled and choices made for you rather than you making autonomous choices for your body. Freedom from shame, guilt and fear, freedom from misinformation, freedom from violence and trauma. So how free are you from those things? And then what are you free to do?
Chris Rose: 08:43 Are you free to love who you want to love? Are you free to connect with the people you want to connect to? Are you free to feel your deepest feelings and then express them safely into socially loving connected relationships that will support you in being the full human being that you are? Are you free to do those things? These are the questions that come up right on the heels of this big question, what does sexual freedom mean?
Chris Rose: 09:19 And we see how interconnected we are in the answers to these questions and how truly none of us are free until all of us are free because we cannot live together as human beings owning one another, dominating one another, subjugating one another and still have the empathy and joyful connection of eroticism intact. Eroticism invites us into deep interconnection with one another so we feel our feelings together. And that means we have shared stakes and shit.
Chris Rose: 09:57 When you feel the feelings of other human beings around you deeply, you have shared stakes in their outcome and so you’re looking for the win-win, you’re looking for a situation where you’re both pleasured. Again, the microcosm of sex, the macrocosm of society, how can we all get off? How can we all get our needs met? How can we all be tended to, loved, held, cherished no matter what. And can we build a culture around those ethics and those principles instead of an ethics of principles of domination and violence and subjugation?
Charlotte Rose: 10:34 These are really big ideas with historical context, with global context and maybe take some time to think about how this is relevant for you in your life. Last week we talked about the myth of virginity and of the hymen braking, and this is one example of ways that ideas and myths become so real in our lived lives, and have a real emotional and physical impact in how we live and how we love and what we do with our bodies. And this idea of what would more sexual freedom look like in your body, in your life is also an enormous question.
Chris Rose: 11:13 And sometimes it can be easier to go to the children. What would more sexual freedom look like for the coming generations? What does that stake in that? What are the gifts that we could pay forward in how we teach our children and children in our lives about sexuality, their bodies, consent, communication, relationships, love? We feel we know deeply how swooping these effects are in our life and how when we’re talking about sex, we’re never just talking about coitus, right?
Chris Rose: 11:50 This isn’t about the mechanical act of intercourse, this is one of the most profound and central questions about the human condition. So for some of us thinking about the children and thinking about coming generations, and then for some of us thinking about the past and dredging up, excavating all of the ways sexual freedom has been denied to human beings will be really energizing and clarifying and put your life in context of these global systems of power and oppression.
Chris Rose: 12:28 Like what did you learn as a Catholic girl growing up in California that had everything to do with the Spanish conquest of the American continents and colonialism, right? These are huge questions that are deeply connected on this really visceral level. And for some of us, myself included, geeking out on the history gives us incredible compassion for our lived experiences. But you also might want to look around and think about how you can create sexual freedom for the people in your community, in your world, in your life, in your family, and for yourself.
Chris Rose: 13:12 What few steps would carve out more sexual freedom for you? What would that look like to you, can just be a really playful, open-ended, curious question and go from there. But I think it’s really important for us all to feel into this connection between the personal and the political, the personal and the global and start thinking. I mean, I kind of think about us as just a family of billions of lovers and an intergenerational web of kin, right?
Chris Rose: 13:48 If we think about the human family that way on this fragile planet spinning around in space, when I think about it through that lens, it’s like let’s just all be really good lovers to one another and how do we start thinking about culture through that lens? Let me know how you’re thinking about this. This might resonate deeply with you and you might be thinking we’ve gone off the deep end, but we will be back next week with more really practical ideas and approaches to individual sex lives and individual relationships.
Chris Rose: 14:23 Because for us, that’s our front lines. How we show up in our bodies when we’re cumming, when we’re fucking, when we’re feeling and when we’re loving one another, that to me is how all of this shows up day to day in our life and matters the most. How we treat one another and how we treat ourselves and there’s so much work to do there. And it’s joyful work, because all of that brings us closer to ourselves, to each other, to pleasure, to what I believe is the natural human state of loving one another.
Chris Rose: 15:01 So no big deal. Sexual freedom. It was a really wonderful week of sitting with this idea and kind of like just being with our mission statement and remembering why we do this work week to week. It’s no less than a global project of erotic liberation for all sentient beings. And that starts with you and your orgasm and your genitals and your heart and your feelings. And we are here for you. Love you, honey. Thanks for being a sexual freedom fighter with me.
Charlotte Rose: 15:40 And lover.
Chris Rose: 15:42 Freedom fighter and lover.
Charlotte Rose: 15:44 Thank you for your intense passion and commitment to this.
Chris Rose: 15:48 I feel that all the time.
Charlotte Rose: 15:50 I love how much you love-
Chris Rose: 15:51 You do not get a break from it. If you do not want a break from our intense passion, and commitment to your pleasure, come on over to pleasuremechanics.com/love where you will find ways to show your support for this show and dive deeper with us. And we will be back with you next week with another episode of Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics. I’m Chris.
Charlotte Rose: 16:14 I’m Charlotte.
Chris Rose: 16:15 We are the Pleasure Mechanics.
Charlotte Rose: 16:16 Wishing you a lifetime of pleasure.
Chris Rose: 16:20 And sexual freedom.