Pleasure Mechanics

Anal Play Doesn’t Make You Gay

If I am into anal, does it make me gay? My girlfriend touched my ass and I liked it, am I gay? Does it mean I am gay if I fantasize about anal sex? I want my wife to wear a strap-on and do me in the butt, am I gay?

As sex educators and experts in anal sex and prostate massage, we get asked these questions ALL the time.

Many guys find themselves turned on by the idea of anal play,or have had a surprising yet pleasurable experience in the past But they hold back from exploring anal stimulation out of fear. Fear of a three letter word. G A Y. A lot of guys worry that if they like anal play, they must be gay. And they don’t feel gay. They like the ladies. So instead of exploring the pleasures of anal, they stay away, and miss out.

Good news guys. All men, gay and straight, have basically the same sexual system. It doesn’t matter exactly who or what turns you on, your basic anatomy is the same. So gay guys and straight guys both like oral sex for the same reason. And gay guys and straight guys like anal play for the same reason – it feels good. Your body is wired to make anal play feel arousing. Anal play allows you to reach new parts of your sexual equipment. Parts you might not even know you have, that are there, ready to bring you more pleasure, stronger orgasm and more intense arousal.

So if anal play makes you curious, go ahead, indulge in a little self-stimulation or get your partner on board for prostate massage. Anal play doesn’t define who you are anymore than a blowjob or any other kind of sex play.

If you are ready to unleash the power of prostate orgasms, check out our online course: Prostate Massage Mastery

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Q&A : Relaxing During Anal Penetration

Question::

Hey Charlotte and Chris!

Thank you for being so open and accommodating; with good people like you offering friendly advice, there is indeed hope.  Since you offered, here is my query;

I am a male in my mid sixties (what I used to do all day, now takes me all day LOL), and I am interested in pegging. My partner and I have tried a couple of times, but I am, as yet, unable to relax sufficiently to take anything more than a modest butt plug. We tried twice with her wearing her strap-on but notwithstanding that I KNOW it will work, she notices my grimaces and stops; it simply hurts, and she cares too much! I guess I’m just too nervous?? L Do you have any “relaxation” suggestions please??

Thanks again!

Karl

Answer::

Hey Karl,

Thanks so much for being in touch!
Awesome that you are actively exploring this kind of pleasure!
Here are a few quick suggestions to help you relax and open up to bigger penetration:
First, make sure that you are fully pleasuring the external anal area before ever going inside. The ass needs to be seduced, as the internal sphincter is not under your conscious control. If you haven’t already, join our online course: Prostate Massage Mastery. You’ll learn everything you need to know to really relax the area and create tons of pleasure, which will help your body relax and open up to penetration.
Then, focus on your breathing. As she begins to penetrate you (ideally with fingers first to give you lots of pleasure as she goes in, then she can switch to a toy once you are really aroused and open!!) focus on deep relaxing breaths, trying to feel your pelvic muscles relax on each inhalation. You can even over emphasize this until your body learns to do it naturally – as you deeply inhale, push out a little on the pelvic floor muscles, then let them relax back on the exhale.
Next, try clenching around the penetration – flex your sphincters as she enters and see if that helps relax them.
Make sure there is no pain at all during penetration – going too fast, not using enough lube or pushing past resistance will create pain and shut your body down no matter how much your brain wants it!
It may take a number of sessions to relax into bigger penetration – but know that most of the arousing sensation happens in the external anal area, so there is no need to rush into pegging! Master these skills with our online course on prostate massage, You’ll even learn the ultimate way to enjoy simultaneous prostate and penis massage, to unlock tons of pleasure and invite your body to open up as you go.
Be in touch if any questions come up along your journey.
All our best,
Chris and Charlotte

How To Prepare For Anal

For Maximum Pleasure, Learn How To Prepare For Anal Play

Learning how to prepare for anal sex will relieve a lot of anxiety and allow you to relax into the pleasure of anal stimulation. Here is a complete guide on how to prepare for anal sex, whether you are playing with your fingers, a toy or a penis.

Anal penetration requires a bit of preparation, so it is best if you know if anal is on the menu so you can get your body ready for this highly intimate form of touch.

Before penetrating, Be Sure to Learn about External Anal Stimulation, the key to painless and pleasurable penetration!

Preparation for anal sex can range from a quick shower to full internal rinses, gloves and other forms of barrier protection. Anal penetration with your fingers, as we teach in our Anal Sex Mastery and Prostate Massage Mastery courses is a low-risk activity for the transmission of infections. Anal penetration with a penis, however, is considered one of the highest risk activities and an advanced sexual technique.

If you are going to penetrate your lover’s anus with your penis, please use a high-quality condom and water-based or silicone lubricant and learn about safe sex practices.This page covers anal sex preparation techniques that will help you feel more comfortable and confident while enjoying anal penetration and anal sex. Before proceeding, check out our article on hygiene and preparation for external anal touch. Here is how to prepare for penetrative anal sex.

How To Prepare For Anal: Keep It Clean!

The first rule of anal penetration: do not spread bacteria from the anus to the genitals. Think of the anus and the genitals as distinct areas – even while stimulating the two at the same time. Do not touch the anus and genitals with the same hand, and wash your hands or change gloves if you switch from one area to the other. The anus and the genitals are two distinct ecosystems and you do not want to spread bacteria from the anus to the genitals. Keep one hand reserved for anal touch, the other clean for genital touch.
Our Anal Sex Mastery Course demonstrate simultaneous genital and anal stimulation using two hands – this is one of the most pleasurable ways to stimulate the entire sexual system at once.You can use nitrile or latex gloves for quick and easy clean-up, so your hands can keep moving without a break to wash your hands. Again, practice common sense – if you use gloves, change them often and anytime you switch activities. If you don’t wear gloves, go to the bathroom and wash your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water.

Arousal is Essential for Anal Sex Preparation

Arousal is an important part of how to prepare for anal play. To make anal stimulation as pleasurable as possible, include lots of foreplay and arousal before touching the anus. Our Foreplay Mastery Course shows you how to stimulate her entire sexual system to create intense arousal before you use the techniques demonstrated in our Anal Sex Mastery Course. Remember, anal penetration is just as pleasurable for some men as it is for some women. If your man is into anal play, check out our Foreplay Mastery Course to learn how to simulate his entire sexual system and create intense arousal. The combination of prostate massage and handjobs creates an incredible erotic experience for men.

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How To Prepare for Anal Sex

One of the most common concerns about internal anal stimulation is poop. Feces, stool – whatever you want to call it – poop is not what most people want to encounter during sex. Thankfully, it is much worse in your imagination than in reality. Poop is not stored in the rectum, the area you will be touching with even deep internal touch. Poop passes through the rectum only when you are actively having a bowel movement. If you have had a bowel movement recently, there is not large amounts of feces in the rectum – you may find trace amounts, but that is it.
Most people can enjoy anal play for years without ever having a major gross-out. The pleasure most people get out of anal play (especially when done with skill, confidence and patience) more than makes up the slight discomfort you’ll feel if you touch a trace amount of your lover’s poop.Of course, you can also completely minimize the chances of touching poop. The person receiving anal touch can rinse out internally, creating assurance that the rectum is clean. Or, the giver of anal touch can wear gloves.

Use Gloves for Anal Hygiene and Quick Clean Up

Wearing a latex, vinyl or nitrile glove is a simple way to keep everything clean and easy to clean up. Vinyl or nitrile glove are great for anal stimulation. They feel smooth and soft on sensitive skin, and when you are finished the gloves can be stripped and disposed of easily.Make sure you take the time to find gloves to fit the person giving the massage- the touch will feel much better when the gloves fit taut against the skin. Latex is a developed allergy, degrades over time and can cause uncomfortable reactions in the sensitive tissues of the anus. Vinyl and nitrile are only a few pennies more per glove, and offer better protection.

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An Internal Rinse : Enemas and Anal Hygiene

If you would like to rinse internally, you have a few easy options. If you are trying an internal rinse, do so at least fifteen minutes before you engage in anal play. A disposable bulb enema is quick and easy. Fill the bulb with plain warm water, gently insert the nozzle into your anus and squeeze the bulb, immediately allowing the water to rinse out. Repeat several times, or until the water runs clear. Never use hot or cold water- aim for wrist-temperature warm. Make sure you release all water – linger for a few minutes and completely relax to make sure everything is out of your system.  Never use a vinegar solution, soap or anything other than plain water.Larger enema bags are not required for anal hygiene, and may cause discomfort. If you are interested in receiving a full colonic enema, it is recommended that you see a professional or do additional research before trying it at home. If you ever feel cramps or discomfort, stop your enema immediately and allow the water to pass.

Lubricant: An Essential Tool for Anal Sex

Another essential tool for pleasurable anal penetration and anal sex is lubricant. Water-based lubricants are now readily found in every major drugstore and even many supermarkets. Silicone-based lubricants are a great choice for anal play, as they will stay slick and not dry out like water based lubricants. See our complete guide to choosing a lube for complete information.Use plenty of lube, reapplying when needed. External and internal anal massage can be highly arousing, without a moment of discomfort. If you experience any pain at any point in the massage, slow down or stop. There is no need to endure anything.Preparing for anal play can make this intimate exchange more pleasurable and allow you to relax deeper into the experience. Thorough cleansing prior to the sexual encounter will take your worries away, and proper hygiene including gloves and lubricant will make the experience more enjoyable for both you and your partner.

Use Condoms Every Time

Even if you don’t use condoms for vaginal sex (because you are in a monogamous relationship and not concerned with birth control, otherwise use them every time for vaginal sex as well!) you might want to consider using condoms for anal sex. Condoms allow for much easier clean-up and if you want to transition between anal and vaginal sex you can simply change condoms and be ready to move on to the next activity.

Anal sex is considered a high-risk sexual activity, so condoms will put your mind at ease and minimize the risk of transmitting any kind of infection. Make sure you and your lover are both on the same page about if you are going to use condoms or not so there are no surprises!