When many people think about kinky sex, one of the first images to come to mind is erotic role playing. From the classic boss and secretary scenario to Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty, role playing captures our collective erotic imagination. Yet many people find it hard to get into, leaving these erotic roles to fantasy alone.

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Role playing can be a powerful tool of kinky sex. Stepping into an erotic role gives you permission to experience things outside of your normal comfort zone. Using role playing in a long term relationship can trick your brain into believing you are having sex with someone new, creating much needed novelty in your sex life. Ultimately, role playing is like slipping into someone else’s skin for a short period of time, so you can experience something the “ordinary” you would never have access to.

Play is important. Kinky sex is a way that adults play. Roleplaying is a wonderful playground for all of us, if you are willing to get past any initial awkward moments and are willing to bring a playful spirit into the bedroom. We all worry about looking funny and not getting it quite right. Move through this concern and erotic role playing can be about having fun and getting imaginative. It can also be very hot for some people, and you’ll never know how arousing it can be if you don’t give it a fair shot!

Don’t be fooled into thinking that erotic role playing is all about costumes and props. As we’ll explore later on, costumes are great fun for some people and hold little interest for others. They certainly aren’t required for role playing, so if they aren’t interesting to you don’t give up on this fun category of kink!

Role playing is a form of storytelling. Instead of you and your lover having sex as you normally do, in your everyday roles as lovers or spouses, erotic role playing invites you into the world of drama where you can be whoever you want to be. By stepping into new roles, you get the chance to embody new attitudes, play with new energy and experience new dynamics between you. While the roles are temporary, the novelty and excitement often create long term positive effects in your relationship as a whole.

So even if you have no interest in dressing up like a pirate captain to claim your maiden captive, give erotic role playing a chance. You may find more than you bargained for!