Start exploring the more arousing side of touch. Sharing massage with your lover is all about relaxation: soothing away the stress, sinking into sensual pleasure and intimately connecting with your lover. The big bonus? The touch skills you learn with massage are also powerful tools to seduce and arouse your lover. 

Here are three ways to explore more touch with your lover, from mild to wild:

1. Break the Golden Rule

In life, we often follow the rule “Do Unto Others As You Want Done Unto You” In bed, try “Do Unto Your Lover What They Do To You!” Most people touch their lover the way THEY want to be touched. Use this knowledge to give your lover what they want and haven’t asked for. If your lover gives you featherlight touch, try giving it back to them and see how they respond. If you find yourself scratching your lover’s back during sex, ask them to try it out on you and see how it feels. We have found this to be almost universally true – we naturally give want we really want to receive. By paying attention to this pattern, you can discover your lover’s touch cravings without saying a word!

2.  Play The Three Minute Game

Find more about exploring massage and erotic touch here: Touch

Grab a timer and head to bed. Take turns Giving and Receiving. For three minutes, you can ask for any kind of full body touch you are desiring. Get as specific as you can. If you’ve been learning along with our couples massage videos, try naming specific strokes you are craving. Here are some ideas of how to ask for what you want!

“I would like three minutes of deep circular strokes on my butt muscles”

“Three minutes of long strokes up and down my spine would be amazing right now”

“I would love three minutes of foot massage, especially deep strokes in the arches”

“Would you be willing to give me three minutes of very light touch all over my body?”

When the timer goes off, stop! Notice how much pleasure and relaxation you can create in just 3 minutes! Then switch roles. This is a great game to play at the end of a busy day, when you want to connect but can only commit to a few minutes. Sometimes, 6 minutes will be plenty. Other times, you may find yourself motivated to touch one another for way longer!

3. Experience Blindfolded Bliss!

Find more about exploring the thrills of kink here: Ready To Explore Kink?

To really heighten your sense of touch, grab a blindfold. By shutting down your sense of sight, your sense of touch gets turned on in a major way. Blindfolds also create a sense of vulnerability, which can be an incredible turn-on. You can use a scarf you have on hand, or invest in a luxurious and comfortable blindfold designed for erotic play.

Start by connecting with your lover without the blindfold on. Look deep into one another’s eyes and, if you choose, set boundaries about what will and will not happen once the blindfold goes on. We recommend keeping touch totally pleasurable and gentle in your first explorations with a blindfold.

Then, lovingly put the blindfold on. Allow some time for your lover to sink into the experience of darkness and make sure the blindfold is comfortable. Then, slowly begin touching your lover’s entire body. Start with the kinds of touch you know they love. Then slowly bring in the elements of surprise and tease. Not being able to anticipate what is coming next is one of the great pleasures of a blindfold. Heighten that anticipation by using rhythm and variety. For example, spend some time slowly caressing the sides of your lover’s body, and then lean in and kiss them on the neck or collarbone. OR hover just above their lips, so they can feel the warmth of your face, and wait a few moments before kissing.

Make sure you take turns wearing the blindfold! There is pleasure in both being the receiver of touch and in giving touch, so explore both roles. If you like incorporating the blindfold into full body touch, try amping up the arousal and see what happens!

Take some time and explore the power of touch with these games. All too often we rush into sex with an agenda and bypass so much pleasure in our hurry to get to the main event. We invite you to slow down and start exploring full body touch as an essential part of lovemaking. We promise you’ll unleash a whole lot of erotic potential!