Pleasure Mechanics

Q&A: I want to date Christian Grey!

Where would one go to find “Christian Grey” like guys? Fancy Restaurants? Coffee shops? Downtown? I guess what I mean, is where do you look or find rich handsome guys? – Maribel

Hey there,

I wish of course I could match make you with the man of your dreams, but that is beyond the scope of my skills.
I would emphasize, however, that there may be more important qualities than wealth – this emphasis in the book troubles us as sex educators. The worst lovers we have met have been the wealthiest – often way more obsessed with their bottom line instead of their lover’s bottom.
It is also essential for a woman’s health and safety to have financial independence. So income of your partner should be closer to yours than not, in order to not endanger yourself. This is a complicated issue but trust your instinct on it.
Go deeper into Christian’s character and ask yourself what you are really craving. Then deliberately start calling that into your life, seeking that quality out in the men you meet.
All my best, thanks for being in touch.
May you meet guys that fulfill you in all the right ways,
Chris
PleasureMechanics.com
***
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How to Date Men Like Christian Grey

 

Risk

It should be acknowledged that different sexual activities inherently involve degrees of risk.

Risk comes in many forms:

Physical Safety:

– Risk of Transmission of Sexually Transmitted Infections

– Risk of Pregnancy

– Risk of Injury (through improper technique)

– Risk of Physical Abuse

 Emotional Safety:

– Risk of Unrequited Emotional Investment

– Risk of Loss of Requited Emotional Investment (Death, Disease)

– Risk of Embarrasment/Dishonesty/Humiliation

– Risk of Emotional Abuse / Manipulation

In short, the more we “open up” to a lover, the more risk we are taking on in all of the above categories. Most people would consider having penetrative (oral, vaginal and anal) intercourse the highest all-around risk category. Everyone has different amounts of risk they are willing to take on.

We are not sexual health experts and can not advise you on the appropriate amount of risk. Where relevant, we try to provide links to clinical information about things like infections, pregnancy and abuse.

Our only goal is to provide you with techniques and strategies for more pleasure. When you choose to share touch with someone, we see an opportunity for maximizing your relaxation, pleasure, intimacy and connection.

Peak Erotic Experiences

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Peak Erotic ExperiencesHow do you know what you authentically desire? Dr. Jack Morin, author of The Erotic Mind, suggests that we use our own Peak Erotic Experiences, our sexual “highlight reel” to look for clues about who we are as erotic beings. He has found that what worked best for you in the past is very likely to work again in the future. This simple but powerful tool puts you in control of naming what turns you on most authentically.

In this exercise, we invite you to use memories of your Peak Erotic Experiences to create a map of the elements of what makes sex hot and memorable for you specifically.

This is a quick interactive experiment that will help you reveal the landscape of your authentic desires. We recommend repeating this exercise at least once a year, and anytime you feel stuck or unsure of what you are craving from your lover.

For an interactive guide to your Peak Erotic Experiences, join The Pleasure Pod!

“Now you are ready to begin examining your peak erotic experiences. Think of them using two seemingly mismatched metaphors. Peak turn-ons are precious jewels. To fully appreciate their glittering facets, it is necessary to gaze at them from different angles. Yet peak experiences are also onionlike. As each layer is peeled away you uncover additional information not visible on the surface” – Dr. Jack Morin, The Erotic Mind

Spermatorrhea

In the 18th and 19th centuries, masturbation was considered to be the source of a laundry list of pathologies, from insanity to hair loss. Onanism, or “spilling the seed” by ejaculating outside of intercourse intended for procreation, was a sin and medical danger.

If a patient had ejaculations outside of marital intercourse, or released more semen than is typical, then he was diagnosed with a disease called spermatorrhea or “seminal weakness.” A variety of drugs (including sedation) and other severe treatments, including circumcision and castration, were advised as treatment.

This is an image of a “German Spermatorrhoea Ring,” circa 1894.  Boys were fitted with these rings, or other elaborate devices, to prevent nocturnal erections and masturbation. If the penis got erect, the sharp teeth would puncture the shaft of the penis, causing great pain and potential injury.

Women were not spared brutal medical treatment for masturbation: cauterization of the clitoris was common medical practice.

Happily, the medical field has come a long way in the past century and doctors now heartily recommend regular masturbation for both male and female sexual health. Cock rings can be left for folks to explore on a more voluntary and pleasurable basis.