Pleasure Mechanics

Are You Suffering From Touch Starvation?

As human beings, touch is an essential biological need. Babies will die if they are not touched – this has been well documented in cases of neglect, specifically in orphanages. As adults, studies have shown that going for long periods of time without human contact can lead to anxiety disorders, depression, heart disease and other health problems.

While it never gets that extreme for most people – many of us do suffer from touch starvation. In this culture in particular, we don’t touch one another very often. Handshakes are about all we get from anyone other than close friends and lovers. Many friends hardly hug one another, let alone cuddle up on the couch together.

We believe that for those of us who have a lover, it is great to deliberately choose to shower one another with affectionate touch. Massage gives you a toolbox of ways of touching one another pleasurably – so the smallest of moments, like standing in line at a grocery store, can be filled with a moment of quality touch – a hand resting on the small of your back, for example. Touch is a language – one that you can use to communicate with your loved ones. Learn with our massage video guides so you can touch your lover’s entire body with skill and confidence.

Top Ten Ways Pleasure Can Save Your Life!

Pleasure is often thought about as being selfish, greedy, or hedonistic. We believe in making Pleasure a Priority. Pleasure does not just happen to us – we must actively choose to cultivate pleasure in our individual lives and in our relationships.

Pleasure is healthy, makes us feel happier, more alive, and gives us energy to fuel our days. We believe that being fulfilled with pleasure makes us better partners, parents, friends and coworkers.

And, we believe Pleasure can SAVE your life. Literally.

Here are 10 reasons why:

#10 – The autonomic nervous system controls the heart, the smooth muscles around your organs, and your glands. There are two modes – Sympathetic and Parasympathetic – Stress and Pleasure. Many adults stay stuck in the stress mode, which has devastating impact on your health. Experiencing pleasure counteracts the impact of stress and gives your body the chance to heal.

#9 – Pleasure is essential for your heart health. Pleasure activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the heart rate, lowers blood pressure and stimulates production of healthy hormones that are highly beneficial to heart health.

#8 – Every experience of pleasure activates your immune system, providing a measurable and enduring boost to your body’s natural defenses. A single moment of pleasure can boost your immune response for up to 6 hours.

#7 – Pleasurable touch alleviates depression. If you are feeling depressed, and are touched or cuddled, your blood chemistry can change in as little as one millionth of a second – the brain instantly responds to pleasurable touch with a flood of endorphins. Studies have shown that many chronically depressed people are also touch starved.

#6 – Experiencing pleasure makes you feel loved. Feeling loved and emotionally secure is essential for the overall health of mammals. Study after study shows that emotional bonds and physical contact allow mammals to thrive. Studies with infants have shown that touch and love are biological needs on par with food and water.

#5 – The first five ways pleasure can save your life are all about the physical health benefits of pleasure. These health benefits should not be underestimated – more and more medical studies are confirming that pleasure, relaxation and love may be the best cure for what ails us. But we all know that quality of life is measured by much more than physical health. Pleasure is what makes our lives worth living.

#4 – Many long-term relationships and marriages end because of a lack of pleasure. Most love relationships prioritize shared pleasure in the beginning, but over the years, stress, responsibilities and duties tend to eclipse pleasure. By creating a culture of pleasure in relationships, and making it a priority to share pleasure in all forms, long term relationships can thrive.

#3 – We believe that being in tune with your authentic desires and pleasure leads to a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction with your life. Unfulfilled desires leads to resent and regret – the toxic twins that can make you feel like you wasted time, or lived a life of someone else’s making.

#2 – We all have a unique constellation of pleasures. Our pleasures and desires are part of what makes us who we are, and we often establish our communities around shared pleasures. Paying attention to what gives you pleasure will allow you to know yourself, and build more meaningful relationships and communities.

#1 – What are you truly passionate about? What kind of pleasure lights you up, make you feel completely alive? By locating peak moments of pleasure from our past and paying attention to new passions as they emerge, we can choose to live a more passionate life.

Making pleasure a priority can bring your body back into balance, counteracting the deadly effects of stress, and may literally save your life. And, pleasure will make you happier and more fulfilled – so you can be sure that the life you save is worth living.

How To Have Multiple Orgasms

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How To Have Multiple Orgasms

In this episode, we share how to have multiple orgasms as we answer a listener’s question about how to experience multiple orgasms.

Are all women capable of multiple orgasms?

How can women learn to have multiple orgasms? Listen in to find out!

Curious about male multiple orgasms? Check out the podcast episode on Multiple Orgasms For Every Body

More About How To Have Multiple Orgasms

In this episode, we answer a listener’s question about how to have multiple orgasms. She wants to know if all women can learn how to have multiple orgasms, or if she should be satisfied with just one orgasm.

While not essential for great sex, all women can learn how to have multiple orgasms if they choose. We offer practical strategies to try out during both solo and partnered sex to build arousal towards a second (or third, or fourth!) orgasm.

Many women experience hypersensitivity in the clitoris after an orgasm, making them stop the sexual experience after one orgasm. We share techniques to stay connected and continue building arousal while giving the clitoris a rest. We also discuss breathing techniques, how to build more arousal through stimulating multiple erogenous zones, and how to communicate with your partner as you explore how to have multiple orgasms together.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

The Pleasure Mechanics Guide to Fingering : Part of the Foreplay Mastery Course

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Vaginal wetness is not equal to female arousal.

There is of course an overlap, those times when a woman is both aroused and wet.

And yet. . .

A woman can be highly aroused and not at all wet.

Or very wet and not at all aroused!

Lubricants are always an option to increase wetness, which, in turn, may heighten arousal.

 

https://www.pleasuremechanics.com/wetness-and-arousal/

Explore Your Arousal

To Explore Your Arousal: Make a Map, Then Get a GPS

Sexologists and sex educators often draw the cycle of an orgasm as a line chart – making sexual pleasure look more like a financial report than an erotic experience. While arousal and sensations are by no means a linear path – these charts can be useful to draw your attention to the patterns of your arousal.

Conventional wisdom says that women need a longer warm-up stage, a smooth and gradual uphill climb towards arousal and orgasm. Once there, women might have several orgasms, the top of their chart looking like a mountain range. Then, a nice downhill descent towards afterglow. Men, it is traditionally believed, have a sharp uphill climb – turned on by just about anything, one dramatic climactic peak and then a sharp fall downhill towards a soft penis and sleep. We’ve all seen these charts and perhaps experienced a similar arousal pattern.

If your arousal and orgasm are indeed a terrain of peaks and valleys – and if you were indeed able to chart your actual arousal, what would that chart look like? Would it be the same time after time, or dramatically different each time?

We propose a two-tooled system of exploring your own unique terrain of arousal. First, make a map. Getting to know a familiar path of arousal and climax is an excellent idea. It is a powerful thing to know what turns you on, what kind of touch stimulates you, how to reach climax most reliably, and what kind of afterglow you like best. Once you have it, you can show your map to your lover and give them the confidence to arouse you and satisfy you.

Arousal is a journey, an adventure – not a trip to the grocery store. Once you know your “sure thing” orgasm and have your map in your pocket, go off trail. Explore. But bring a GPS! With a GPS, you always know where you are and how to get where you want to go. This allows highway and byway exploring and spontaneous adventure.

For sex, your GPS is your awareness and attention. By choosing to pay attention to your arousal, mapping it into new terrain, you can play with new sensations and still know that you can find your way back to arousal and orgasm. You can begin learning new sexual techniques and skills, without the risk of giving up what already works for you.

If your lover tries something totally new – like scratching your inner thighs, giving you a foot massage, or (gasp!) suggesting something like prostate massage – you can try something new and simply pay attention. Do you like it? Does it take you closer or further away from climax? Or into another realm all together? Harder or lighter? What if they lightly stroked your thigh instead? What gets you off? What do you NEVER need to try again? Exploring is only fun when you are confident about how to get back home – to your trusted pleasures – when you need to.

As you approach orgasm, you can become aware of your own peaks and valleys – are you about to orgasm, what if you back away a bit, breathe deeply, and then begin building sensation again? With awareness and attention, you can explore the infinite variety of arousal and sensation available to you – and never get bored of traveling the same path to orgasm again and again. That map is always there for you should you want a clear and direct route – but for those days you want to travel and see the sites, simply pay attention and begin pioneering the unmapped terrains of your own sexuality.