Pleasure Mechanics

Free Mini Course : Relax and Unwind!

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Couples massage is a complete luxury – one that doesn’t cost a single penny once you have mastered the skills! You can share a few minutes of massage whenever you choose, strengthening your relationship, relaxing your body and unleashing all of the benefits of loving touch. It is simply one of the most powerful techniques for a more pleasurable life, and we want all couples to share this incredible experience.

Start enjoying the pleasures of massage tonight with our FREE Foot Massage Videos, included in our free course The Erotic Essentials.

Here’s why:

Scientific research reveals that babies need skin-to-skin touch to survive and thrive. Adults aren’t much different.

Quality, loving touch offers huge health benefits. Touch strengthens the immune system, relaxes chronic stress, releases healthy hormones and helps regulate sleep patterns.

Touch is also one of the most essential ingredients in a romantic relationship. Touch communicates love and care in a wordless language that we all understand. A good hug at the end of a long day can totally change your mood. Holding hands changes a simple walk into a romantic, connected experience. Cuddling transforms watching a movie into a much more intimate activity.

Many people wonder why, as sex educators, we teach couples massage. The answer is simple: we believe that every couple can benefit from exchanging skilled, quality massage at home. From simple foot rubs to elaborate full body massage experiences, bringing massage home is one of the best things you can do for both your relationship and your sex life.

Professional therapeutic massage is a wonderful thing. It can be a great way to relax and fully receive the benefits of touch. Professional massage can effectively release chronic tension and even offer relief from some medical conditions. Professional massage therapists have hundreds of hours of training in technique and anatomy, and can dig into troublesome areas with precision.

But there is one thing professional massage doesn’t offer: love and intimacy. Only your partner can massage you with the care and passion of someone who is in love with you. Only your lover can infuse their touch with profound emotions. And, only your lover can use massage as a powerful form of foreplay, preparing your body for high states of arousal and more expansive orgasms.

Couples massage combines the best of massage with the sensuality of making love for a truly extraordinary experience. There is nothing quite like relaxing into your lover’s touch as their hands glide over your body, slipping over your contours with graceful ease.

As you relax and breathe deep, their hands expertly knead out your stress and transforming your body into a vessel for pleasure. Perhaps they lean in and offer small kisses, reminding you how much you are loved. Within just a few minutes, you can go from stressed out to a sexy, pleasure saturated body ready for more connection (or just ready to drift off into a deeply relaxing sleep!

While professional massage and couple’s massage may share some of the same strokes (we teach you the secrets of the pros in our Couples Massage Mastery course!) they offer two totally different experiences.
Professional therapeutic massage can be wonderful, and we encourage you to receive it as often as you can afford it! But for a daily dose of loving, affectionate and romantic touch, bring the power of massage home.

Unleash Your Desires

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Unleash Your Desire :: Free Podcast Episode

Sexual shame can cripple desire and kill your libido. Here’s how to clear away the roadblocks and unleash your deepest desires so you can have a fulfilling sex life.

Just as we were preparing to launch the Kinky Sex Mastery Course, we received this email:

My biggest struggle is that I find it hard to get turned on. I do have one very specific turn-on but I’m really really embarrassed about it. A few years ago I told my husband about it, and we have had a few conversations about it. He says he doesn’t find it weird and that it’s a turn-on for him too (in certain aspects), he tries to incorporate it into our sex life, but I don’t think it will make a big difference until *I* feel comfortable about it and can stop being so mortified.

The other thing I would say is that my husband is interested in me being “his slut” and controlling me (in bed!). I am not against that, but I think I have a hard time getting over the notion that it is disrespectful. I would like to let go of that fear that his sexual desires are a reflection of our loving relationship so that we could both enjoy ourselves more.  
Love your podcast! 🙂

In this episode we share strategies and advice for overcoming sexual shame and unleashing your desires.

Pleasure and Pain

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In this not-to-be-missed episode, Chris shares some of her personal stories about exploring the relationship between pleasure and pain through kinky sex.

How are pleasure and pain related?

Why do some people crave that combination of pleasure and pain?

When is it intensity that we are seeking, and when is it a different kind of turn-on?

Chris explores the thin boundary between pleasure and pain in this candid and personal conversation.

Hit the play button at the top of this page to listen to this episode of the Speaking of Sex Podcast. Click here for a full archive of Speaking of Sex. 

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Erotic Dominance

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Erotic Dominance :: Free Podcast Episode

Do you fantasize about feeling the pulse of arousal move through your body as your lover moans in pleasure at your feet? Are you ready to let your inner beast out to play once in awhile? Is it a turn on to think about your lover tied up and vulnerable, ready for your next touch?

If the idea of sexual dominance turns you on, you are not alone. Most people, to one degree or another, are aroused by the idea of being dominant in the bedroom. This role can be called the “dominant” or the “giver” or the “top” but whatever you call it, it means one thing: claiming erotic power and using it for mutual pleasure.

Sexual dominance can take many forms:

  • the stern and commanding top, barking orders and expecting them to be followed right away
  • the loving but firm dominant, doling out intense sensations along with affectionate and encouraging words
  • the wicked top with a sinister streak, creating emotional and physical challenges to make their bottom squirm and struggle
  • the masterful dominant who seamlessly creates an erotic arc of energy, taking their submissive into a deep trance
  • the strong and confident lover who take complete control and gives their receiver a wild ride

In the Kinky Sex Mastery Course, you have the opportunity to explore 6 kinds of sexual dominance and find the elements that most appeal to you. You’ll also get all of the tools you need to take control and be sexually dominant with confidence and competence.

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There are many distinct pleasures that come with being sexually dominant. According to Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, authors of “The Topping Book,” here are a few of the most common reasons people love being in the role of Top. All quotes in the paragraphs below are from The Topping Book: 

  • Empathy: the “contact high” of getting your partner incredibly aroused. When you learn how to pay attention to your lover and discover that you know exactly what to do next, incredible moments of intimacy become possible. “We believe that, contrary to the opinions of the uninformed, consensual dominance and topping are primarily empathic activities”
  • Creativity: the opportunity to bring creativity and novelty into sex. Being dominant is your chance to orchestrating an erotic experience for the bottom.  “We get to enjoy our inventiveness, our resourcefulness, our competence and our flashes of genius”
  • Bigness: the ability to unleash our inner power, dominant energy and take up lots of space. “When we top we put on a role that is about being important and powerful. And when our bottoms respond to us in our role as giants, when they offer us their trust, their adulation, and their belief in us as we see ourselves in our fantasies – when we see ourselves enormous in our bottoms’ eyes, what a blazing hot mirror!”
  • Nurturing: the chance to express tenderness and love for our partner.  “Nurturing is a big part of much of what we do, and the combination of kindness and cruelty is one of the fastest ways to take a bottom down the deepest”
  • Bullying: the chance to play the villain and be a bit wicked (with our partner’s pleasure in mind at all times!) “In BDSM we get to act out from parts of ourselves that conld not be described as nice: the bully, the villain, the inquisitor, the brute, the betrayer. Wicked, wicked, wicked.
  • Control: a powerful chance to be fully in command of an erotic situation. The better you get at being dominant in bed, the more trust you can earn from your partner. This trust comes when you can channel your desire and arousal into finely-tuned control in bed. Over time, you also earn the erotic devotion of your partner, and many people eroticize the control of being able to turn someone on with their presence alone. “There’s a keen joy in knowing your needs and desires are echoing in your loved one’s head”
  • Competence: the chance to master new skills that give you and your partner whole new realms of arousal “S/M is a technical sport, and a lot of us eroticize the chance to be competent… when we do (kinky sex) well, we get to ride the scene and our bottoms – with our universe, for the moment, exactly as we want it. How gratifying.”
  • Self-knowledge: allowing the experience of being dominant to reveal new facets to your personality, desires and needs. “Playing these roles out can be the way in which we clarify our vision, and developing an S/M personal can become the process by which we learn more about who we are.”

Your challenge is to think about dominant role models from books or videos that inspire you. Then identify their specific kinds of dominance and what particular dominant pleasures might interest you. Try to start getting specific about what arouses you about sexual dominance.

When you are ready to set out on a guided adventure into kink, enroll in the Kinky Sex Mastery Online Course.