Pleasure Mechanics

How To Be Kinky

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How To Be Kinky :: Free Podcast Episode

Ready to explore kinky sex?

Want to know how to be kinky but don’t know where to get started?

We are here to guide you on the adventure!

If you know you are ready to learn how to be kinky, enroll now in our Kinky Sex Mastery Course!

But maybe you are thinking:

  • I don’t even know WHAT I want in bed
  • My partner would never be up for it (but I want it so bad!)
  • I am afraid I’ll hurt my partner
  • I am too shy to be kinky!
  • I think I’ll get in over my head and lose control

We understand all of these thoughts. We’ve even had some of them ourselves. We know that trying new things in bed can be scary and overwhelming. We get that it can be hard to ask your partner to play along with your desires.

That’s exactly what inspired us to design this course for you!

Over the past few years (especially since the 50 Shades craze!) we have heard from THOUSANDS of you who long for kinkier, rougher and more creative play in bed. You want more thrills, more excitement, more sensation. But you don’t know how to get started.

Searching the internet won’t help – we know because we tried. Even the “beginner” kink education out there is way too risky and too much for most people. Most of what is out there just sets you up for failure.
We weren’t happy with what we found – so we have spent over a year designing a course just for you.

This is a true beginner’s course – we take you step by step through building the skills of kink so you can be free to explore your deepest desires. But let’s be clear: you’ll have the chance to explore everything from intense sensation to bondage, from domination to roleplaying. Beginner doesn’t mean boring, it means we are setting you up for wildly successful explorations!

Want to discover how to be kinky? Enroll now in Kinky Sex Mastery and start your adventure now!

 

You Are Kinky

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You Are Kinky :: Free Podcast EpisodeAre you bored in bed?

Stuck in a routine?

Longing for the days of thrilling sex and passionate connection?

If so, you are not alone. Most of the emails we receive tell the same story: boredom, ruts and long lost libidos.

Here’s the truth: there is a proven path to more pleasure, and it is available to you right now.

That path? Kink. And whether or not you already know it, you are kinky.

Not everyone is into handcuffs and pain in bed. Not everyone wants to be tied up and spanked. But everyone has a little bit of kink inside their erotic soul, just waiting to come out.

Our new course, Kinky Sex Mastery, is your guided tour into the adventure of kinky sex. We guide you every step of the way so you can explore the thrills of kink while staying safe and strengthening your relationship.

But what does it mean to be kinky?

Here’s how we define Kinky Sex:

  • Kink is everything beyond the standard script of romantic intercourse driven sex
  • Kink includes intense sensation play, roleplaying and erotic power play.
  • Kink is an attitude, a willingness to explore and have fun with sex outside the box
  • “The box” is what culture tells us is permissible, shame-free sex. This changes over time. Right now culture is a little confused about what is in and out as more people come out of the closet about enjoying a wide range of sex play.

We all have cravings, interests and turn-ons that don’t fit into our standard sexual script. But very few people take action and actively explore kinky sex.

After talking to hundreds of men and women about kinky sex, here are the top reasons people don’t explore kink:

  • want to explore but don’t know how to get started
  • don’t want to feel silly,
  • don’t want to hurt your lover,
  • don’t want to break trust and lose their partner’s respect
  • partner not interested
  • scared of losing control
  • scared “vanilla” sex will never be satisfying again

Here is the truth: human sexuality is wildly creative, diverse and surprising. We are capable of being aroused by just about anything, and using that arousal for pure orgasmic fun or profound emotional connection.

For centuries, we’ve been sold the lie that “good” and “normal” sexuality consists of just a few basic sex acts performed within a reproductive marriage. Finally, we are realizing that this limiting view is not only incorrect but damaging. Most of us are suffering in silence with desires we don’t understand and longings that remain unfulfilled.

Finally, kinky sex is being unleashed out of the shadows of shame. We are slowly giving ourselves permission to explore “out of the box” sexuality. But this leap isn’t easy. In fact, for many people, it is scary to confront their own desires and ask their partner to try something new.

That’s where we come in. When you are ready to take the first step towards a lifetime of kinky adventures, enroll in our Kinky Sex Mastery course. Then, we will guide you every step of the way as you build the skills you need to safely and securely play with the thrills of kink. Over the course of 25 date nights, we give you everything you need to discover your desires, communicate with your partner and start getting hands-on experience with kinky skills.

You’ll find that exploring kinky sex not only gives you access to a whole new world of arousal and erotic experiences, it will also strengthen your relationship. You’ll discover surprising new sides to one another, remember what it feels like to be excited again, and develop advanced communication skills that will serve you in and out of the bedroom.

How To Strip Dance For Yourself

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Strip Dance For Yourself :: Free Podcast Episode

How To Strip Dance – For Yourself!

Charlotte on Sheila Kelley’s S Factor Strip Dance Practice: 

What I love about Sheila Kelley’s work is that she has developed a safe, pleasurable practice that guides women in cultivating and activating feeling sexy through teaching women how to strip and pole dance.

During her in-person stripping classes you do movements in a room with other women. There are no mirrors and the room is flooded with candlelight. She follows the idea that you practice being in your erotic body for yourself first and then later choose to share your sexiness with your lover or not.

This is a philosophy that here at the Pleasure Mechanics we wholeheartedly believe in. I have one of her teaching videos, and Chris and I went to a class in LA, and I really like her teaching. In a field where there are a lot of fakers, I consider what I know of her work the real deal.

In our culture we aren’t taught how to feel sexy or sensual in our bodies. We are bombarded with how to look sexy through the marketing of a million products but how to feel sexy is often confusing for women as if you aren’t feeling it, feeling sexy can feel unreachable sometimes. I believe feeling sexy has to come from feeling good in our body, no matter what size we are, no matter what we look like. And that we can cultivate practices and ways of being in the world so we know how to feel sexy when we want to. I find dance and movement to be an essential tool in this, and Sheila is teaching a particular path.

I love this phrase about getting into a state where you can follow your own “physical and sensual intuition”, this is important I think. It is a state that I love to be in. I have developed ease at getting into this state by giving massage and dancing for thousands of hours in my lifetime. It is a state where you learn to pay attention to your body’s intuition, your inner cues of how to move next and then follow that until you get your next direction from your body’s intuition. Cultivating this inner knowing is an important part of feeling sexy. Dancing and moving is a wonderful, fun, safe pathway to activating this body intuition and cultivating the state of feeling sexy privately.

I believe so much of women’s power is stored in our hips. When we move the hips we unlock chronic tension so more blood and energy flow can reach this magical, mysterious part of our body. The waking up of this area can make us feel more alive, feel more sexual pleasure and make our orgasms feel stronger and better.

There are a couple of challenges for you this week depending on your level of interest.

One option is to put a song on in the privacy of your own home and circle your hips and see how it feels in your body.

Hip circles are essential for unlocking tension in your hips and is a wonderful easy, accessible practice for all of us women to do.

Do hip circles for the entire song, or do that movement until your body tells you it wants to do another move. Follow that. Just experiment with one song, then do more if you feel like it. This is one step towards beginning to listen to your physical and sensual intuition.

Another option is to watch the videos below of everyday women who practice S Factor dancing and stripping with a pole and see how graceful, beautiful and powerful it can look and feel.

S Factor has retreats and classes in a few cities in the States. If you are brave and have the resources I recommend going and trying them. Or try getting one of their videos. Either way I hope you explore dancing as a fun, safe way to connect to your body’s intuition and your own sexiness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLL6yH0PoYQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs35-rHdKaQ

The Kivin Method of Cunnilingus

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The Kivin Method of Cunnilingus : Free Podcast Episode

A member of our community asked us about The Kivin Method cunnilingus technique.

In this week’s podcast, we review this technique and share what makes it work and what is just fluff.

So tune in (hit the play button at the top of this page!) and hear what makes this cunnilingus technique work – and join in our experiment to test some of it’s more questionable suggestions! Be a part of debunking (or proving!) this internet-famous oral sex position.

Ready to master Oral Artistry? Join our online course for an immersive exploration of oral pleasure for ALL bodies.

The Kivin Method Of Cunnilingus

No one knows where the Kivin method came from – most likely early internet forums, and the rest is urban legend.

Here are the full classic instructions for The Kivin Method (with Pleasure Mechanics commentary following!) We have updated the classic instructions replacing “man” and “woman” with “giver” and “receiver”

Kivin Method of Cunnilingus

    • The giver lies perpendicular to the receiver at a 90-degree angle to their hip (put your face at a right angle to their pussy, rather than “head on”) 
    • The giver uses a back-and-forth tongue stroke over the hood of the clitoris. Givers who have practiced this technique have said that when the receivers is aroused, they can feel two bumps on either side of the clitoral hood that feel like half grains of rice. These are the “K points” (when the clitoris is aroused and erect, it swells! Keep in mind here that the clitoris is the anatomical match to the head of the penis. So when erect, both reveal different textures and push nerve endings closer to surface)
    • The C point is how to get immediate feedback from the receiver that you are in the right place. The giver places their middle finger on the perineum, the C point, which is the muscular smooth area between the vagina and anus. Make sure your nails are short and that she can only feel your finger pad, not your nail.
    • The reason you will get immediate feedback is when your tongue is stroking in the correct place, the woman will experience involuntary, preorgasmic contractions in this area. (The entire pelvic muscles contract and expand during arousal, the perineum is just one great place you can feel it and respond to it!)
    • Your finger doesn’t move; it stays still, because if you do move your finger you may move her concentration from the clitoral hood area to the perineum (Perineal massage is actually AMAZING and can be a compliment to the oral stimulation of the clitoris. This is just one more tool in your approach at stimulating the entire sexual system. In all bodies the perineum is an amazing spot for stimulation. We offer a full suite of perineal massage techniques in the Foreplay Mastery Course)
    • By reading the recipient’s body, you will be able to maintain correct tongue placement without wondering, “Am I there? Where is there? Have I moved from there?” (Don’t stress too much about “correct tongue placement” as you will relax into it and your tongue and face will know how to move with and respond to your partner’s arousal!)
    • Once you have started, don’t stop. Continue past their initial orgasmic response, as often this stimulation is the most intense and satisfying portion of the orgasm. (Stop when they pushes your head away, grips your head and holds you still or bucks wildly away from you. Read their cues and ride it out together. And learn how to ride from orgasm to orgasm to explore multiple orgasms together!)
  • Some couples have added a position adjustment: The receiver curls their legs up to their chest and the giver uses their arm to keep them pushed back and stabilized. In this way, the giver is very widely spread open and can receive even more intense stimulation. (Try lots of different oral sex positions! Facesitting anyone?)

The Kivin Method of Cunnilingus is just one more approach to experiment with together – what matters is finding the ways you love to play, bring one another lots of pleasure and explore high states of arousal. Don’t get stressed about any one technique or position – your two bodies need to fit together, as they are right now. Use pillows and props for added comfort. And remember that often it is the emotional blocks and distractions that get in the way of female pleasure, not the guy’s willingness to flick his tongue in the right spot (but great technique goes a long way, no doubt!)

Want more strategies to maximize female arousal and orgasm? Check out our Foreplay Mastery Course – here is what a few of our couples had to say about the course: