Pleasure Mechanics

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Help! My Partner Won’t Play Along

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What happens when you are ready to explore sexually, and your partner doesn’t want to play along? How do you move forward as a couple when only one of you wants to get kinky?

If you have ever felt like you were ready to explore new sexual thrills or go on new erotic adventures, but your partner was not willing to participate, this episode is for you. Or maybe YOU are the one who is terrified of your partner’s new desires and feel totally freaked out about what is being asked of you.

We ALL have felt the fear and resistance that comes when we confront change or are asked to try something new. Let’s face it – it is way easier to keep things the same. It is way easier to stay safe. But what gets lost is the adventure, the pleasure and the potentially transformative experience of trying something new. We all need to grow and change, and in long term relationships, we need to learn how to grow and change together, one step at a time.

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

Couples Massage Mastery – no matter where you are on your erotic path, learning the skills of couples massage will lay a foundation of touch, pleasure and communication that will support all of your other erotic adventures. If we could give all couples one gift, this would be it.

Big thanks to our new sponsor, CloneAWilly.com! CloneAWilly.com offers DIY at home kits so you can make a silicone replica of your own beautiful genitals. Check out CloneAWilly.com and use the code pleasure for 20% off your order.

Women Get Erections Too! Here’s What You Need To Know

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We ALL get erections – it is not just a guy thing! All human bodies have about the same amount of erectile tissue in their genitals – it is just situated differently! People with vulvas get erections too – and in this podcast episode we cover everything you need to know about female erections for more fun and pleasure!

Want all of our proven strategies and techniques to stimulate the ENTIRE female sexual system, unlock more orgasmic potential and enjoy way more sex? The Foreplay Mastery Course is our best selling course and offers everything you need to know about both the male and female pleasure system!

In the 3D animation below, notice the purple structures – and imagine how much better penetration feels when the area is awake and erect!

Learn more about the amazing clitoris and how to pleasure it:

Want more visual illustration of the female anatomy?

Check out Cyndi Darnell’s Atlas of Erotic Anatomy here

Butt Plugs! Who, What, Where, When, Why and How?

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Butt plugs are one of the most versatile types of sex toys, but not many people know about them. Here is everything you’ve ever wanted to know (and more!) about butt plugs. In this free podcast episode, we cover all the basics and more. This is a Who, What, Where, When, Why and How Episode of Speaking of Sex, so we cover all the essentials, including:

  • What is a butt plug?
  • Who are butt plugs for?
  • Where do you use butt plugs?
  • When do you use butt plugs?
  • How do you use a butt plug?
  • How can men use butt plugs?
  • How can men and women use butt plugs during sex?
  • Why do butt plugs feel good?
  • How are butt plugs different from dildos?
  • Should I buy a vibrating butt plug?

Resources Mentioned On This Episode:

How To Prepare For Anal Play

Prostate Massage Mastery Online Course

Anal Play Mastery Online Course

A Few Of Our Favorite Butt Plugs:

*Bvibe Silicone Plugs: a range of sizes, body safe silicone and friendly colors

*Njoy Stainless Steel Plugs: for those who like a heavier, harder heft

*Trainer Set: a set with several sizes so you can explore what feels best to you

* SheVibe has the largest selection of butt plugs – especially if you want something playful (a tail? some sparkle? look no further!)

 


* please note some links on this page are affiliate links, and if you choose to make a purchase we will receive a small percentage as thanks for the referral. We only link to resources we know, trust and love!

Having Fun With Erotic Roleplaying

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When many people think about kinky sex, one of the first images to come to mind is erotic role playing. From the classic boss and secretary scenario to Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty, role playing captures our collective erotic imagination. Yet many people find it hard to get into, leaving these erotic roles to fantasy alone.

If you want to be guided, step by step, in exploring kinky sex and erotic roleplaying, check out our Kinky Sex Mastery online course.

Role playing can be a powerful tool of kinky sex. Stepping into an erotic role gives you permission to experience things outside of your normal comfort zone. Using role playing in a long term relationship can trick your brain into believing you are having sex with someone new, creating much needed novelty in your sex life. Ultimately, role playing is like slipping into someone else’s skin for a short period of time, so you can experience something the “ordinary” you would never have access to.

Play is important. Kinky sex is a way that adults play. Roleplaying is a wonderful playground for all of us, if you are willing to get past any initial awkward moments and are willing to bring a playful spirit into the bedroom. We all worry about looking funny and not getting it quite right. Move through this concern and erotic role playing can be about having fun and getting imaginative. It can also be very hot for some people, and you’ll never know how arousing it can be if you don’t give it a fair shot!

Don’t be fooled into thinking that erotic role playing is all about costumes and props. As we’ll explore later on, costumes are great fun for some people and hold little interest for others. They certainly aren’t required for role playing, so if they aren’t interesting to you don’t give up on this fun category of kink!

Role playing is a form of storytelling. Instead of you and your lover having sex as you normally do, in your everyday roles as lovers or spouses, erotic role playing invites you into the world of drama where you can be whoever you want to be. By stepping into new roles, you get the chance to embody new attitudes, play with new energy and experience new dynamics between you. While the roles are temporary, the novelty and excitement often create long term positive effects in your relationship as a whole.

So even if you have no interest in dressing up like a pirate captain to claim your maiden captive, give erotic role playing a chance. You may find more than you bargained for!

Begging For It

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Imagine a lover gasping for air, begging for it, begging for YOU, begging for the release of your touch – is this a fantasy alone? Or is there a way to make begging for it something we can all do a bit more of, each in our own way?

In this episode we explore the erotic art of begging for it. What does begging for it mean – begging FOR sex vs. begging DURING sex? Begging for a specific sex act vs. begging for pleasure? Begging for orgasm vs. begging for mercy?

When we imagine erotic begging, we also need to think about the erotic energy behind the begging. Begging can range from bratty to reverent, from demanding to humiliating, from thrilling to flirty.

And, as Charlotte points out, isn’t begging really just an extreme form of consent? Of saying, out loud, what it is you want and how you want it? How can we leverage the sexiness of begging to make consent clear, honest and exciting?

If you are ready to explore your kinky side together, check out our Kinky Sex course – we’ll take you on a guided adventure, date by date, in the privacy of your own home.

 

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