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How To Have Spontaneous Sex

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Here is how to have more spontaneous sex – without enduring the common pitfalls of quickies!

Most people want more spontaneous sex – but we also know that the body and mind need to be prepared for orgasmic, satisfying sex. Arousal takes time to build – so what space does that leave for spontaneous sex and quickies?

In this episode we cover:

  • how to capture the energy and excitement of spontaneous sex
  • how to prolong foreplay over days and weeks
  • how to stay warm so it is easier to get hot
  • the importance of spontaneous affection
  • the difference between spontaneous sex and quickies
  • the kind of quickies to have more of – and the kind of quickies to avoid

We also cover spontaneous sex in Episode 154, featuring Esther Perl on the myth of spontaneous sex.

This episode was inspired by the following question, submitted by a listener:

Dear Pleasure Mechanics,

My husband found you about six months ago when my relationship was really at a standstill. I never enjoyed sex the way we had been having it but didn’t know what to ask for.  He hated that I wasn’t enjoying it, so stopped initiating it. Before we found you, we didn’t have sex for about a year and were both kind of giving up on it. Then through the magic of google he found you, and signed up for the foreplay course. Your course helped us start more conversations and I was able to ask for the kind of warm up I now know my body needs before I can enjoy intercourse. Turns out he was more than happy to provide once I was able to ask. For this, I thank you.

I hope I am not pushing my luck here by asking for more help. My question is about spontaneous sex. Now that I know I need lots of time for warm-up, does that rule out quickies? Is spontaneous sex ever an option?

Thanks again for all your help,

Monica

Curious about igniting your own sexual breakthrough? Click here to explore the Pleasure Mechanics online courses!

How To Ask For What You Want

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Asking for what you want in bed is an essential skill to develop – here’s how.

In this podcast episode, we cover:

  • how, when and why to ask for what you want in bed
  • why most lovers need and want direct requests
  • how to ask for what you want when you don’t know what you want!
  • how to talk about sex before, during and after each sexual encounter

This episode is an encore presentation of Speaking of Sex episode #129, Ask For What You Want In Bed

The Peak Erotic Experience Exercise

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The Peak Erotic Experience Exercise is an easy and effective tool to identify your personal erotic blueprint. By thinking about your best sexual experiences, you can start to identify the elements that turn you on and create the most satisfying sex life possible.

The Peak Erotic Experience Exercise is from the late Dr. Jack Morin and is outlined in his amazing book The Erotic Mind.

This episode is an encore presentation of Speaking of Sex episode #073 Peak Erotic Experiences

Sex In The Great Outdoors

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Sex in the great outdoors can be a thrilling adventure – here’s how to do it while avoiding the risks of outdoor sex (like getting caught!)

Outdoor sex is a very common fantasy. Read how to make it hot and keep it safe.

Outdoor Sex : The Do’s And Don’ts of Outdoor Sex

Outdoor sex is one of the most common fantasies for both men and women. The sheer delight of being surrounded by beautiful nature is amped up by the thrill of possibly getting caught. There may also be a primal reason for enjoying sex outdoors, after all, it is how we humans had sex for millennia.

As thrilling as outdoor sex may be, there is nothing less sexy than getting arrested for a sex crime. Here are a few do’s and don’ts for enjoying the thrill of outdoor sex without risking an arrest!

DO Take Baby Steps!

Having outdoor sex in public is illegal. Making out is perfectly within the law. If you want the thrill of outdoor sex with zero legal risk, settle for a heavy make out session, fully clothed. You can get incredibly turned on without shedding any clothes. Use this technique to eroticize very public places. You may never have sex on the edge of the Grand Canyon but you can still create some erotic memories!

DO Use Your Hands!

If you want to go beyond making out but aren’t quite ready for outdoor sex, take turns stimulating one another with your hands. You don’t have to take off as many clothes but still get the experience of climaxing in the great outdoors! Master the skills of full body erotic touch and you’ll always be able to reach great heights without risking taking it all off!

DO Explore The Deep Wilderness!

Many state and national parks are vast, but most tourists stay on a few main trails. If you want to have outdoor sex without getting caught, you’re going to have to earn the privilege by hiking deep into the wilderness. Once you haven’t seen another hiker for a good hour or so, you are in the right zone.

DO Position Yourself Strategically

On many hiking trails, you’ll find spots where you can see people coming in either direction. These are the perfect locations to get naughty. Tell your lover to keep a lookout then drop to your knees to pleasure them. If your lover spots someone coming, you’ll have enough time to tuck everything away!

DON’T Risk Your Safety!

When choosing your spot to get frisky, look around for potential dangers. Don’t settle in too close to a cliff, near any stinging or poisonous plants, or anywhere near insect nests or other potential dangers. Know your terrain and choose wisely.

DO Take Advantage Of A Rain Storm!

Throw on the ponchos and take an adventure into a local park during a heavy rainstorm. No one else will be around, and you’ll be able to splash around without worrying about anyone coming along! Ponchos aren’t inherently sexy, of course, but they allow easy access and will add sexy humor to your adventure!

DON’T Leave Anything Behind

Follow the golden rules of backpacking and leave no trace. Don’t leave used condoms or any other trash behind. As they say, leave only footprints and take only (very exciting) memories!

DO Explore Private Land

The safest kind of outdoor sex is on private land without any neighbors in site. If you and your lover really want to explore outdoor sex with less risk, find a bed and breakfast or hotel with lots of acreage. If you do get caught, you may get tossed out of the hotel but you probably won’t get arrested. Even better? Make friends with someone who owns land and is willing to turn a blind eye to your outdoor escapades!

This episode is an encore presentation of Speaking of Sex episode #041,  Outdoor Sex

Romantic Summer Sex

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Want to have more romantic summer sex? Here’s how to have more loving, intimate and memorable summer sex.

This episode is an encore of Episode #168: Romantic Sex

For more on romance, here are curated resources for you to explore romance, getting more romantic, making sex more romantic, and experiencing more romance in your life.

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