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In this episode we explore how to overcome distractions so you can have better sex.

We offer strategies to use before and during sex so you can get over your monkey mind and have more mindful sex. Whether or not you have ADD, whether or not you find yourself distracted during sex, these techniques will help you have better sex and get more out of each erotic encounter!

Question::

First, I can’t tell you how much I love your podcast. I have learned so much. I look forward to any time I can get in the car without my kids so I can play your podcasts.

I wanted to bring up a possible topic for your show – ADD and sex. I have ADD and I am unmedicated. I have all sorts of ways to deal with it in my everyday life, but it can make sex difficult, especially reaching orgasm. I can be half way to happy land when my bunny brain hops off to a very unsexy topic like defrosting the pot roast. One thing that has helped me focus is a blindfold. It doesn’t slow my brain down, but it gets rid of some distracting stimuli. Any other ideas? I’m guessing I am not the only one who has issues with this.

Thanks for your great podcast. 

Transcript for Podcast Episode on Distraction & Sexuality

Chris Maxwell Rose (00:00):
Hi, and welcome to Speaking of Sex. I’m Chris.

Charlotte Mia Rose (00:03):
I’m Charlotte.

Chris Maxwell Rose (00:04):
We are The Pleasure Mechanics. And in this podcast, we have honest conversations about sexuality. We give expert advice and practical strategies, so you can experience more sexual pleasure. We use explicit language, and nothing is taboo. You can submit a question to be answered on future episodes by going to PleasureMechanics.com and hitting the Ask Us Anything button. While you’re there, check out our complete suite of online courses and video guides, designed to help you become a better lover, and experience the amazing sex life you deserve. And as a Speaking of Sex listener, please use the promo code, Speaking of Sex at checkout for 20% off any of our online offerings.

Chris Maxwell Rose (00:52):
In this episode, we are going to be talking about a common problem that affects both men and women, and what to do about it. Charlotte’s going to get us started by reading a question submitted by a listener.

Charlotte Mia Rose (01:06):
So we have a fabulous question here from Joy [inaudible 00:00:01:08], which is really a great name.

Chris Maxwell Rose (01:12):
Translation, joy of middle life.

Charlotte Mia Rose (01:14):
Indeed. So she says, “First, I can’t tell you how much I love your podcast. I’ve learned so much. I look forward to anytime I get into the car without my kids, so I can play your podcast.”

Chris Maxwell Rose (01:29):
I love that.

Charlotte Mia Rose (01:29):
Thank you so much.

Chris Maxwell Rose (01:30):
Sorry, kids. You can’t come this time. Mom has got some learning to do.

Charlotte Mia Rose (01:34):
That’s awesome. Thank you. “I wanted to bring up a possible topic for your show. ADD and sex. I have ADD, and I’m unmedicated. I have all sorts of ways to deal with it in my everyday life. But it can make sex difficult, especially reaching orgasm. I can be halfway to happy land, where my bunny brain hops off to a very unsexy topic, like defrosting the pot roast. One thing that has helped me focus is a blindfold. It doesn’t slow my brain down, but it gets rid of some of the distracting stimuli. Any other ideas? I’m guessing I’m not the only one who has issues with this. Thanks for your great podcast.”

Chris Maxwell Rose (02:12):
Well, you’re welcome. Fabulous. And let’s dive in. Whether or not you have ADD, which is attention deficit disorder, or are just easily distracted like so many of us, paying attention during sex can actually be really challenging for a lot of people. And we hear this all the time, especially from women, but also from men, that midway during sex, the brain starts to wander, and starts going to mundane tasks, or to do lists, or things that stress you out. And it can really distract you from the pleasures at hand, if you will. And so in this episode, we want to offer some strategies that are useful for everyone to practice, whether or not you have ADD, whether or not you think distraction is a major issue for you. The strategies we’re going to offer can really help everyone focus more on sensation during sex, pay more attention to the sex they’re having, become more mindful during pleasure, and bring your pleasure to a new level. So all of this advice is for everyone listening,

Charlotte Mia Rose (03:20):
Because it’s really such a skill to learn how to pay attention to the sensations that are happening in your body as they’re happening. We are so trained to be paying attention to 27 things at once. It is part of our life these days. So relearning or beginning to learn the skill of paying full attention, is a practice and a skill. And it does allow you to experience so much more pleasure.

Chris Maxwell Rose (03:46):
And paying attention is another word for mindfulness, which many spiritual traditions spend years, if not a lifetime, practicing. The practice of mindfulness is all about paying attention to what you’re doing as you’re doing it, and focusing the mind. And so one image you can think of is, mindfulness and paying attention is like a prism where you focus all of the light into a focused beam, and that concentrates its power and allows you to focus on one thing at a time. And this can be a tool of enlightenment in some practices or traditions. But it can also be a tool of cultivating your attention, so that one thing that you’re focusing on is heightened. And this is useful in so many facets of our life and work.

Chris Maxwell Rose (04:40):
But with sex in mind, what mindfulness does is it focuses all of the power of your attention on the pleasure. And so that pleasure actually becomes heightened, and you can experience orgasm more easily. You can experience more powerful pleasure. You can go deeper with intimacy. Everything you’re doing becomes much more enjoyable and profound because you’re focusing all of your life force attention on it. So these are good practices for everyone to try out. And we think that you’ll find the benefits of them pretty quickly, if you start practicing mindful sex.

Charlotte Mia Rose (05:26):
In the letter, our listener talked about how the bunny brain interrupted her orgasm. And I think that’s a really common experience for a lot of people, I think, especially women. So this distraction really can get in the way of experiencing the levels of pleasure that are possible for you.

Chris Maxwell Rose (05:48):
So we’re going to be talking about practices for both leading up to sex, and during sex. And leading up to sex, I think the first step is to really make sure that you are comfortable prioritizing sex. That it is something that is worth your time and attention. And it’s okay to set aside all of your to-do list in order to prioritize sex. Because I think subconsciously what a lot of us do is, we’re not actually comfortable giving sex full time and attention. And so we rush through it. We try to think about other things to get it over with. We are not fully on board with setting aside half an hour, or an hour, or whatever it is to really dedicate to pleasure, because on some level we don’t believe that pleasure is worth our time. And especially if you’re super busy, like so many of us tend to be, it can be a real challenge to say to yourself, “No matter how long my to-do list is, no matter how much there is to get done, it is worth taking time to have sex.” Because our culture doesn’t value it. And in turn, we don’t really value it.

Chris Maxwell Rose (07:03):
What is the benefit of spending this time fully focused on sex? And I think this challenge can come up in other arenas. Like, are you worth taking an hour to go to a yoga class? Is it worth taking an hour to go on a walk with your friend, or to get on the phone with someone you haven’t talked to in a long time? These things that nourish us on a really personal level can be hard to prioritize, because especially as women, but I think a lot of us put other people ahead of us in our priorities. We martyr ourselves at the expense of our own pleasure in order to get everything else done, and join five committees, and do a really good job at work, and keep a household going, and all of these things. And yet we somehow find four hours a day for TV. I don’t know how that skips the line in the priorities list. But that’s something you can collapse in front of, and don’t have to pay super a lot of attention to.

Chris Maxwell Rose (08:02):
But a lot of people have trouble prioritizing sex. So that’s the first thing, is that you really want to choose to prioritize pleasure, and make sure that you think it is worth your time to have the sex you’re having. Because if you believe that it’s worth your time, it becomes much easier to focus on the pleasure that’s available to you. And one of the strategies here is to pay attention to the longterm benefits of having pleasurable sex. How do you feel afterwards? How does your next day feel? Do you go into your next day of work with a skip in your step, and more energy, and more confidence? When you start paying attention to the benefits of sex in your life, then it can become easier to prioritize it and focus on it.

Chris Maxwell Rose (08:52):
So that’s goal number one, is to prioritize pleasure, pay attention to the benefits, and know deep in your being that it is worth your time and attention. So once you’ve done that, your next step is dealing with any distractions that can be managed ahead of time.

Charlotte Mia Rose (09:11):
So this involves getting rid of the distractions that can get in the way before you begin. So some of the really common ones are cleanliness, noise, privacy. So some people are not able to fully relax until they have either cleanliness in the room that they’re going to be making love in, or their personal body has been cleaned to the level that they feel comfortable with, so they can be really present to the pleasure that they are experiencing, or they’re potentially going to be experiencing. And noise. If you have kids in the house, sometimes people get distracted by being concerned that they’re going to be able to hear. So managing that with music, or locking the door for privacy.

Chris Maxwell Rose (09:55):
Or sending the kids away to a babysitter, or with a friend so you have an hour of privacy.

Charlotte Mia Rose (10:01):
It’s managing these bigger scale things that do have solutions, but they require taking some initiative and problem-solving so that you can be relaxed.

Chris Maxwell Rose (10:13):
Right. If that pile of laundry in the corner is going to distract you, either shove it in the closet, my favorite strategy, or do the laundry in preparation for that evening’s love making. Know your triggers and pay attention over time to what distracts you, so that you can read those distractions of your experience ahead of time.

Charlotte Mia Rose (10:35):
And sometimes you can’t do it ahead of time, and you have to respond in the moment. If you’re noticing it’s really distracting you, you have to choose whether or not to try and manage it right that moment, or try and let it go. There have been moments where I’ve been completely… So I have a little bit of a hygiene thing. And there have been moments, especially when I was pregnant, where Chris had been touching the iPhone, and then we were getting in bed to make love. And I don’t know if you’ve read those studies about like the horrible stuff that’s on iPhone surfaces. At that particular moment, being very pregnant, I was like, “I just really don’t want your hand in me having touched the iPhone. I get that, that’s ridiculous. And I’m completely distracted. Would you mind going and washing your hands? I know it’s embarrassing.”

Chris Maxwell Rose (11:25):
But that was the choice. So either you could have stayed distracted and we could have had mediocre sex, or you could have refused altogether, or you could have taken a deep breath and asked me to go wash my hands even though I had just done it before touching the iPhone, so you felt comfortable and could relax. And that’s the option you chose. And I had a moment of like, “Really? Oh my God.” But I went and did it, took my own time to refocus. And then we able to make love, and it was really beautiful. And so just that moment, it probably took less than a minute all together. And that allowed the sexual experience to go much deeper.

Chris Maxwell Rose (12:05):
So these are the kinds of things that, if you take a minute or two ahead of time, gives you the ability to go much deeper once you’re making love. And these things are worth it. And you have to figure out what it is for yourself, what are the conditions you need to have a fully aware and conscious sexual experience.

Charlotte Mia Rose (12:26):
And sometimes it feels really silly. I felt really silly asking for that in that moment. But I was completely distracted and would not have been able to be focused otherwise. So if your partner loves you and cares about you, you just have to ask for what you need. And it’s important. And privacy, I think, is a huge one for people with kids or animals and pets that come like leaping into the room, figuring out what works for you.

Chris Maxwell Rose (12:51):
Honey, your chihuahua is staring at me.

Charlotte Mia Rose (12:54):
And whether that is installing locks on the door or-

Chris Maxwell Rose (12:57):
… turning up the volume on the stereo, so no one can hear you, or waiting for a moment where you have more privacy. Whatever it is to do, do it.

Charlotte Mia Rose (13:07):
Yeah. They’re important. These things matter. Because if your brain is wondering about like, worrying about these things, you just can’t really be present. And so it’s worth it. To prioritize having great sex, these things matter.

Chris Maxwell Rose (13:19):
So you have prioritized pleasure. You’ve dealt with manageable distractions, which not all distractions are manageable. And we’re about to get into that. But anything that you can handle, handle it. And then it’s important to transition. And I think this is one of the biggest practices that we forget about, is the transition time between everyday life and the erotic zone of pleasure. It is very hard for most people to flip the switch from making dinner for the kids and getting the laundry on and paying the bills, to all of a sudden I’m in the mood to be horny. That is a very big leap to make for most people. And most people never get there. So even if your body is going through the motion of sex, your brain is still a few steps behind, and hasn’t joined the party. And by the time it does, sex is over. So you need to make certain choices, certain rituals to get in the mood for sex.

Charlotte Mia Rose (14:20):
Yeah. This is such an overlooked quality. And if you experiment with this, you may find that it makes a huge difference. So you got to find what works best for you. Some of the examples of ways that people transition from regular life to being in an erotic zone, are things like taking a shower, taking a bath, stretching, doing some dance or yoga, getting into your body. Other people love to do an intense workout to fully getting present to your body. Some people love to read erotica. And then massage is also an amazing tool. Either self massage or massaging each other to bridge regular life to lovemaking. They can take a few minutes, or it can be much longer. But if you begin experimenting with which ones of these work for you and help you just begin to relax, then you may notice that your brain is more ready to be paying attention to your body, and to your lover, and to the experience that you’re going to have together.

Chris Maxwell Rose (15:26):
And everything Charlotte listed if you notice, is a sensual experience. And sensual, not in the bom-chicka-wah-wah, meaning. But sensual meaning, of the senses. There are ways of pulling your attention from your everyday life and the chaos of your to-do list into your sensual body. So tactile experiences, things to do with temperature changes, that’s the bathing ritual and the feeling of water on your skin. Smells. If you want to add some essential oils to your bath, or prepare your bedroom by using an incense, or a spray, or a nice smell. We prefer all natural things, of course. I don’t think Glade is very sexy. But anything that enhances your sensual experience, and it can include food if you want. Like setting up a little altar with some champagne and some dark chocolate, or whatever pleases your senses, will go a long way to bringing your focus of attention into your sensual body, and away from your analytic brain.

Chris Maxwell Rose (16:37):
Because our brains are really overactive nowadays. We feed them so much information. We’re always processing something. And it’s really important to give your brain a chance just to focus on the sensual input you’re giving it. All of the pleasures you can experience with your five senses. And find what works for you, and then make a pregame ritual out of it. And you can do this separately as a couple. Each of you can take 15 minutes to do your own thing to get in the mood, or you can do it together. And different things work well for different people. Some women really love a few minutes to be alone, stretch, put on a sexy song, and dance. And when their lover enters the room, they have been already transported into a more sexy being ready to meet their lover, and focus on making love for the next period of time. So figure out what works for you and try that out as a strategy.

Charlotte Mia Rose (17:38):
I would just add that I love doing that. I love to have a shower, and self massage for a while with music on, and dance. That is absolutely what I love do. Because I feel like it means I end up having way better sex.

Chris Maxwell Rose (17:53):
And an interesting point here is, earlier on in our relationship, you used to take two hours to do this. Like seriously. You would start at 7:00, and by 9:30 invite me into the room. And we started having conversations about having kids. And I started encouraging you to, how do you shorten that ritual? How do you shorten your meditations? Because I was aware that once we had kids, you weren’t going to have two and a half hours. And you started practicing that, and figuring out, “What is the most efficient way for me to get in the zone?” And now, one or two songs, and you can get there. Or a very short shower and a little bit of dance, and you’re there.

Chris Maxwell Rose (18:35):
And so I think this is also important. It has to fit into your life. If you set up these huge expectations and it doesn’t fit into your life, then that’s just one more excuse not to have sex. So you have to figure out ways of doing it efficiently so it can fit into your life. And it can be something that’s practical and realistic.

Charlotte Mia Rose (18:55):
Right. I mean, those were my self-care rituals, which is separate, I think, then my pregame ritual. But there is a fair point there. Yes, now it can be like a 10-minute experience, and that is enough. But I think that’s partly because I cultivated the skills of being able to drop into my body. And there is a Pavlovian response as we train ourselves to do these things. And this is where music, and scent, and certain kinds of massage can really be essential tools to get yourself into a state again and again. And if scent works for you, it is a great tool to always put on a certain scent or use a certain massage oil that then reminds you of sex. And it will help to get you in the mood again and again. And music. If there are particular songs that get you in the mood, playing them again and again. These are just tools that we can use to train ourselves, and wake up certain parts of ourselves, and remind us of certain things.

Chris Maxwell Rose (19:55):
And the bonus is it gets you halfway there already. So I’m not starting foreplay, totally cold. You’re a little bit in the mood. You’re a little bit turned on, and sex becomes easier to initiate from that state.

Charlotte Mia Rose (20:08):
And interestingly, it’s very often, if I have done that self-care, even if it’s a 10-minute event, I have way more energy to give. So there are many moments where you are tired and feeling depleted, and because I’ve taken this time to take care of myself, like I can offer you more as well as feel more when I’m being pleasured. And I think that’s an interesting point too.

Chris Maxwell Rose (20:31):
Perfect. So you’ve prioritized pleasure. You’ve dealt with distractions, you’ve done your pregame ritual to get in the mood. And now you’re naked in bed with your lover, and your mind starts to wander. What do you do? So one of the most powerful and underrated erotic tools is your breath. And I’m working on creating a whole resource program for erotic breath work, because I know how amazing and important it is. And for now, all you need to know is breath plays two roles during sex. One, it focuses your attention on your body. So when your mind starts to wander, you activate the breath tool and pay attention to just taking long, deep focused breaths. And through paying attention to your breath, you are not paying attention to your monkey mind, or your bunny brain as the listener called it. You are paying attention to the in and out of your breath, which brings your attention back into your body, and then into sensations.

Chris Maxwell Rose (21:36):
Meanwhile, taking longer deep breaths, floods your body with oxygen, and make sensations heightened. So you have more pleasure to pay attention to. So that is our biggest recommendation. Anytime your mind wanders during arousal, bring your focus back to your breath. Take long, deep, full breaths. There’s nothing fancy. You don’t need to count. Just get as much oxygen as you can, in a relaxed way, let it out and repeat that process until your attention is back to your arousal. That is a powerful tool. Do it. Pay attention to the results. Let me know how it works. Because I know from experience, it is one of the most powerful ways to refocus your attention, and heighten your pleasure at the same time.

Charlotte Mia Rose (22:24):
And you can have a conversation with your lover before you do this. Just be like, “I’m going to experiment with taking more deep breaths to see if it helps me stay in my body more.” So that if you start doing these deep breaths, they’re not like, “What are you doing?” And you can encourage them to play along with you, and see how it works for both of you.

Chris Maxwell Rose (22:40):
And taking breaths is a sexy thing. Like it is a way of communicating pleasure. If you take a big deep breath, and then make a sound on the exhale when something feels really good, it’s a way of communicating pleasure to your partner as well. So it doesn’t have to be weird. It can be very sexy and effective at the same time.

Charlotte Mia Rose (23:00):
So the blindfold is a great tool. You talked about using that. And I’m so glad that you’ve experimented with that. And that you have found that useful. Because that is absolutely a tool that we recommend to people, because it does shut out a whole sense, and forces you to pay attention to your other senses in more detail. So that’s great that you’re using that, and encourage other people to try that out.

Chris Maxwell Rose (23:22):
Right. It’s interesting because I think our analytic brains are very visual. We’ve taken a lot of information visually on our computers, reading in the world in general. And so the sense of vision is very closely tied with the information processing parts of the brain. And so when you put on a blindfold and you shut out that sense, part of your brain shuts down it. And in compensation, your brain pays attention to all of the other sensory input it’s getting through the feelings of touch, and sound, and smell, and taste. And so all of these experiences are heightened. So a lot of people find a blindfold, a really effective tool for heightening sensations, and focusing the mind.

Chris Maxwell Rose (24:08):
And it doesn’t have to be a kinky power thing. Although if you want to take it there, great. It can be really simple, and sweet, and gentle, and a way of saying to your lover, “I’m about to give you so much pleasure. Put this blindfold on to help you receive it.” And it can just be very tender, and caring, and nurturing. And so if you associate blindfolds with kinky sex, and don’t want to take it there, remember that it doesn’t have to be associated. It can be a tool for heightening, whatever kind of sex you want to be having in the first place. The caring side of blindfolds.

Chris Maxwell Rose (24:44):
And a blindfold can be anything, from a blindfold designed to be a blindfold, to a scarf, to a tie, to a towel just laid over the top of your face. It can be really anything that denies you the sense of sight. And you just want it to be comfortable. And if you thrash around a lot, you want it to be able to stay on, which is where more traditional blindfolds are helpful. And if you’re just going to lie back and relax and be a pillow queen for the night, then you can just do something as simple as laying a pillowcase or a towel over your eyes.

Charlotte Mia Rose (25:16):
And if you want to just simplify, you can just experiment with having your eyes closed. Or some people actually find they can pay more attention when the eyes are fully open, and they’re looking at their lover and paying attention that way. So that will have to be something you experiment with to see which helps you actually go deeper into your sensation and pleasure.

Chris Maxwell Rose (25:35):
Right. And if your eyes are open, try not to stare at the ceiling where it’s a blank tablet for your to-do list to appear as if projected from a magical place, or you see the cobwebs and then remind yourself of all the gutter cleaning you have to do. Look at your lover. Look at your bodies moving together. Look at their genitals. Look in their eyes. Especially eye contact during sex can be incredibly intimate and pleasurable. But look at what’s happening rather than distract yourself by looking around the room.

Charlotte Mia Rose (26:08):
Right. Essential points. And some people really find using fantasy to be helpful, to keep them in the experience, interestingly. So that again, is personal. Some people, it takes them out of the experience. Other people really love to enhance the experience-

Chris Maxwell Rose (26:28):
… through fantasy, which is really using your mind to tell yourself a story, paint a picture, enhance whatever’s happening in your body through the storytelling part of your brain. And what this is doing is, if your brain is focused on creating a story full of sensual, rich details in your brain, it’s not focusing on your to-do list. Like you can really only do one thing at a time. And so if you’re prone to mental distraction, and you like the power of fantasy, use it to replace the monkey mind, and instead use the power of your brain to enhance through sexual fantasizing. And you can talk to your partner about this. Most partners don’t mind, as long as you’re not fantasizing about your sexy coworker, your ex. If you’re fantasizing really about something fantastical in the meaning of fantasy, meaning where everything is possible, and there are no limits, and you’re a princess and he’s the dragon, whatever it is for you, then usually that’s fair game.

Chris Maxwell Rose (27:33):
And you can talk to your partner if you feel any weirdness about fantasizing during sex. But a lot of people find that really effective. And those people might be the ones reading erotica before sex happens. So you can precede your brain with certain scenarios you find really sexy, and then your partner can join you. And you can either assign them the role. Like, “I’m reading this very hot princess erotica. And you’re going to be this prince, and I’m your captive. So you can build role playing into that. Or it can be a more private thing where it’s just enhancing the physical sensations of lovemaking.

Charlotte Mia Rose (28:09):
And again, related to this, but it’s different is using the skill or art of narration during sex.

Chris Maxwell Rose (28:17):
Saying out loud-

Charlotte Mia Rose (28:19):
… what’s happening while it’s happening.

Chris Maxwell Rose (28:21):
I love the way you look with your lips wrapped around my cock. Take it in deeper baby. Charlotte’s giving me a funny look. But saying out loud, what’s happening while it’s happening, most people find this the easiest way to start talking dirty. Because it really is about narration, saying what’s happening, naming what’s happening, saying that you find it hot. And then you can build little requests into that. So say what’s happening, and then say what would make it even hotter. And this can be just a really easy way to activate your voice, which brings you more into the present moment.

Charlotte Mia Rose (28:54):
So you can be narrating what’s happening, or related to the previous point, you can be narrating your fantasy if that’s something that’s comfortable with the two of you, which is really specific to relationships.

Chris Maxwell Rose (29:06):
Take me, dragon slayer. I am your reward for saving the kingdom. Some people will love that, someone will not get into that at all. But whatever works for you and your partner. And sometimes experimentation is going to be fabulous, and it may fail and flop. And that’s okay. And then you know that for next time.

Charlotte Mia Rose (29:25):
Have a sense of humor.

Chris Maxwell Rose (29:25):
Right. Laugh, or it could be a big success, or elements of it could be a big success that you take on for exploring in the future.

Charlotte Mia Rose (29:33):
The other thing that’s useful is sometimes to really separate the roles of giving and receiving. Often in straight sex and intercourse, people are doing things to each other at the same time. And that can sometimes be just a lot to pay attention to. So one way to play with it is to have one person really be giving pleasure, and the other person just fully receiving. So you can really go deep into that experience of either one. And that can be a great tool to be able to focus more fully.

Chris Maxwell Rose (30:04):
So all of these strategies are about using your full capacity as a lover to choose to focus your attention more on the sensation, and away from the monkey mind, bunny brain. I like bunny brain.

Charlotte Mia Rose (30:17):
I like bunny brain.

Chris Maxwell Rose (30:19):
Where you’re swinging from vine to vine of thought of, “Have I paid that electricity bill? Is the roofer coming this weekend? What’s my child’s soccer schedule? What’s going on at work? My friend said this annoying thing.” All of those thoughts that just come in and out of our mind so easily are a real distraction when it comes to sex. And so all of the strategies we’ve named here are really powerful ways to choose to create a specific time where you’re focusing all of your attention on being a sexual being, on having pleasure, on experiencing sensation. And what this does is it heightens the sensation. It makes sex much more pleasurable. You’re allowed to go much more intimate and deep with your partner, which leads to a better relationship.

Chris Maxwell Rose (31:11):
And there’s amazing, tremendous benefits that come out of all of this. When sex is much more focused and pleasurable, it counts more in your day to day life. And you get all of the benefits of eroticism to fuel the rest of your life. So you actually become more effective as a human being. And you’re able to deal with your to-do list in a more effective way. And so it’s not becoming a heatedness, where everything gets set aside in pursuit of pleasure. It’s making a focus choice to spend a certain amount of time focused on sexual pleasure so the rest of your life can be fueled by it.

Chris Maxwell Rose (31:50):
So we really invite you to try out these techniques, whether or not you have ADD, whether or not you feel distracted during sex. Try some of these techniques out one at a time, and notice what happens. And then let us know, because we love to hear the results from these techniques we share with you.

Charlotte Mia Rose (32:08):
From these sexual experiments that you do with your life.

Chris Maxwell Rose (32:11):
It’s amazing. We’ve got thousands and thousands of people around the world trying out these pleasure experiments.

Charlotte Mia Rose (32:17):
I love it.

Chris Maxwell Rose (32:17):
And we love to hear the results. So be in touch with us. Come on over to PleasureMechanics.com. Hit the Ask Us Anything button, and share your story, ask a question, or suggest a topic for future episodes of this podcast. And if you’d like what we do and want to support us, you may notice that we have no advertisers and no sponsors. This show is made entirely possible through you joining the Pleasure Mechanics community, and purchasing one of our online courses or video guides, so you can become a better lover, have more fun in bed, and join the global Pleasure Mechanics community of pleasure seekers, and orgasm havers, and masterful lovers.

Chris Maxwell Rose (33:04):
And as a thank you for being a listener of Speaking of Sex, use the code Speaking of Sex at checkout, for 20% off any of our offerings. We would love to have you join the community. I’m Chris.

Charlotte Mia Rose (33:17):
I’m Charlotte.

Chris Maxwell Rose (33:18):
We’re the Pleasure Mechanics-

Charlotte Mia Rose (33:19):
… wishing you a lifetime of pleasure.