Sex Advice — Page 12 — Pleasure Mechanics

Anal Sex How To: Expert Info

Many people want to know how to have anal sex that is pleasurable, pain-free and mutually satisfying.

Some people want to know how to get their partners interested in anal sex, or how to have more anal sex.

The answer is all the same: learn how to have anal sex that is 100% pleasurable. This starts with learning highly arousing external anal techniques so you can open up to penetration in a way that is painless and intimate. Anal sex never has to be uncomfortable, let alone painful.

We are passionate about teaching how to enjoy anal play safely, with maximum pleasure. We share all of our expert “anal sex how to” knowledge on this site and in our video guides, designed to make learning how to enjoy anal sex easy and comfortable, no matter what your level of experience. Our online courses – Anal Sex Mastery and Prostate Massage Mastery, guide you stroke-by-stroke in external and internal anal techniques.

Painful Anal Sex

When I try to have anal sex it hurts, what should I do? Anal sex has always been painful, will it always hurt? Anal sex causes me pain, why would people like this?

As sex educators and experts in anal sex and prostate massage, we get asked questions like this all the time. We are happy to report that anal sex doesn’t have to be painful or hurt at all – in fact, it should be 100% pleasurable, 100% of the time.

Anal stimulation should NEVER be painful. Let us say that again: anal stimulation, including penetration, should NEVER be painful. This is a shocker to many people, who only associate anal play with pain and discomfort. Most people override some level of pain to get to the pleasure, or to please their partner.

The way anal sex is depicted in pornography is a travesty – we see huge penises penetrating wide open orifices with no warm-up, no lube, and no external stimulation. Done at home, this is almost certain to hurt, at best, and in the most extreme cases can severely damage the sensitive tissues of the anus and rectum.

Anal play can be 100% pleasurable. When done with care, anal play creates a gradual and relaxing opening of the anal sphincters, and penetration is slow and gradual, feeling good the entire time.

Anal Sex Is Natural

Is Anal Sex Unnatural? Isn’t the anus a one-way hole? Is anal sex an abomination to God?

As sex educators and experts in anal sex and prostate massage, we are asked questions like this all the time.

Anal pleasure is natural.

The anus is rich in nerve endings and is part of sexual anatomy.

Thinking that the anus is a “one way” hole that is only meant for bowel movements is a little bit like saying our mouth is a “one way” hole only meant for eating – but we breathe out of our mouth, speak out of our mouth and use our mouth for many other practical and intimate functions. No body part only serves one purpose, and all of our body and its design is part of nature.

The anus is one of the most sensitive parts of the human body, and is wired into the same nerves as our genitals.

The muscles of the pelvic floor link the genitals and the anus intimately together, meaning all orgasmic contractions include both your genitals and your anus.

Anal sex is well documented throughout the animal kingdom, including in the “intelligent” animals such as chimps and dolphins. So whatever your definition of “natural” is, anal sex is certainly included.

How much you include anal play in your sex life is up to you. But the evidence is in, and anal sex is a natural part of human sexuality, so rest easy knowing that any desire for anal play is completely normal and part of your design as a sexual being.

Ready to get started with anal simulation? Make sure to learn the right skills so it is 100% pleasurable, 100% of the time. Check out our online courses and get started for tonight: Anal Sex Mastery for Woman and Prostate Massage Mastery for Men.

Anal Play Doesn’t Make You Gay

If I am into anal, does it make me gay? My girlfriend touched my ass and I liked it, am I gay? Does it mean I am gay if I fantasize about anal sex? I want my wife to wear a strap-on and do me in the butt, am I gay?

As sex educators and experts in anal sex and prostate massage, we get asked these questions ALL the time.

Many guys find themselves turned on by the idea of anal play,or have had a surprising yet pleasurable experience in the past But they hold back from exploring anal stimulation out of fear. Fear of a three letter word. G A Y. A lot of guys worry that if they like anal play, they must be gay. And they don’t feel gay. They like the ladies. So instead of exploring the pleasures of anal, they stay away, and miss out.

Good news guys. All men, gay and straight, have basically the same sexual system. It doesn’t matter exactly who or what turns you on, your basic anatomy is the same. So gay guys and straight guys both like oral sex for the same reason. And gay guys and straight guys like anal play for the same reason – it feels good. Your body is wired to make anal play feel arousing. Anal play allows you to reach new parts of your sexual equipment. Parts you might not even know you have, that are there, ready to bring you more pleasure, stronger orgasm and more intense arousal.

So if anal play makes you curious, go ahead, indulge in a little self-stimulation or get your partner on board for prostate massage. Anal play doesn’t define who you are anymore than a blowjob or any other kind of sex play.

If you are ready to unleash the power of prostate orgasms, check out our online course: Prostate Massage Mastery

Q&A : Relaxing During Anal Penetration

Question::

Hey Charlotte and Chris!

Thank you for being so open and accommodating; with good people like you offering friendly advice, there is indeed hope. Since you offered, here is my query;

I am a male in my mid sixties (what I used to do all day, now takes me all day LOL), and I am interested in pegging. My partner and I have tried a couple of times, but I am, as yet, unable to relax sufficiently to take anything more than a modest butt plug. We tried twice with her wearing her strap-on but notwithstanding that I KNOW it will work, she notices my grimaces and stops; it simply hurts, and she cares too much! I guess I’m just too nervous?? L Do you have any “relaxation” suggestions please??

Thanks again!

Karl

Answer::

Hey Karl,

Thanks so much for being in touch!

Awesome that you are actively exploring this kind of pleasure!

Here are a few quick suggestions to help you relax and open up to bigger penetration:

First, make sure that you are fully pleasuring the external anal area before ever going inside. The ass needs to be seduced, as the internal sphincter is not under your conscious control. If you haven’t already, join our online course: Prostate Massage Mastery. You’ll learn everything you need to know to really relax the area and create tons of pleasure, which will help your body relax and open up to penetration.

Then, focus on your breathing. As she begins to penetrate you (ideally with fingers first to give you lots of pleasure as she goes in, then she can switch to a toy once you are really aroused and open!!) focus on deep relaxing breaths, trying to feel your pelvic muscles relax on each inhalation. You can even over emphasize this until your body learns to do it naturally – as you deeply inhale, push out a little on the pelvic floor muscles, then let them relax back on the exhale.

Next, try clenching around the penetration – flex your sphincters as she enters and see if that helps relax them.

Make sure there is no pain at all during penetration – going too fast, not using enough lube or pushing past resistance will create pain and shut your body down no matter how much your brain wants it!

It may take a number of sessions to relax into bigger penetration – but know that most of the arousing sensation happens in the external anal area, so there is no need to rush into pegging! Master these skills with our online course on prostate massage, You’ll even learn the ultimate way to enjoy simultaneous prostate and penis massage, to unlock tons of pleasure and invite your body to open up as you go.

Be in touch if any questions come up along your journey.

All our best,

Chris and Charlotte

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