Sex Advice — Page 18 — Pleasure Mechanics

Q&A: How Do Cock Rings Work?

Question:: Do cock rings help to prolong a hard erection? Is it safe to wear and for how long? Does it also help to retain ejaculation?

Answer::

Cock rings help prolong erection by trapping blood in the penis. Blood can flow in, but not out. You put it on around the base of just the penis or around the entire shaft and behind the base of the balls. Here is a link to one of our favorites and GoodVibes sells lots of options. They are generally safe to wear for as long as you like, but start with sessions of 30 minutes or less. We strongly recommend models with snaps or other ways to take the cock ring off quickly. Start with one of these models and then you can move up to a heavier metal ring once you figure out how cock rings work on your particular body. Also avoid the cheap jelly rubber cock rings, as they can irritate the skin and are often not tight enough to work effectively. Take it off if you start experiencing pain, numbness or discomfort.

Cock rings do not generally prevent ejaculation. This is a skill that must be mastered with lots of (pleasurable!) practice. To explore controlling ejaculation, make sure to read our book on Ejaculation Control.

Cheers!

Ejaculation Control

One of the most common questions we get from men is how to gain control over their ejaculation so they can stay hard longer, enjoy more pleasure and feel more confident with their lovers.

Many men don’t realize that orgasm and ejaculation are two different events. For all too long they have been considered a “package deal” and most men have been ejaculating with every orgasm for most of their lives. When men learn how to separate these two events, they unlock the secret to male multiple orgasm and discover they are capable of staying erect for much longer than they knew possible.

We want to provide men with the strategies and techniques to master ejaculation control and last longer in bed. So we’ve gathered proven strategies into our Handbook on Ejaculation Control – available exclusively as part of our Foreplay Mastery Course.

First, we provide you will all the information you need to understand how ejaculation control and arousal work in your body. Then, we give you step-by-step instructions to mastering this skill. Only you can make it happen through dedicated practice and sexual exploration, but we’ll guide you every step of the way!

We want every man to have the tools to discover what is possible and unleash maximum pleasure!

This e-book is designed to guide you, step-by-step, in gaining control over your ejaculation and lasting longer in bed (or anywhere else you choose to enjoy sexual pleasure!)

All of the techniques in this guide will help you delay ejaculation and gain control over when you ejaculate. In doing so, you will gain a skillful confidence over your own arousal, become a better lover, and gain the potential for more pleasure every time you have sex or self-pleasure.

This book provides all the essential information you need to understand how to delay ejaculation, why orgasm and ejaculation are two different sexual events, and what benefits you can expect from learning these new sexual skills.

With this book, you will discover:

* A simple 3 step process to gain control over your ejaculation and prolong your arousal
* 5 techniques to “shift gears” away from ejaculation while building more pleasure
* Bonus practices to enhance male sexual pleasure and stamina
* Tips for lovers, so learning these new skills is just as much fun for your lover as it is for you!
* Expert advice on developing a routine to master these skills, no matter how busy you are

Master The Edging Technique

What Is The Edging Technique?

One common technique to prolong arousal and increase sexual pleasure is called the “edging technique.” Sometimes it is called “peaking” or “surfing” – but all of these terms refer to a similar technique of maintaining arousal just below orgasm for prolonged periods of times.

The edging technique involves paying attention to your level of arousal, and developing your ability to know when you are getting close to orgasm. When you approach orgasm, you tone down stimulation or stop touching yourself and practice riding that edge – staying just under the threshold of orgasm.

If you want to prolong your arousal and delay ejaculation, edging is a technique to explore.

We guide you step by step in our Handbook on Ejaculation Control. It is part of our Foreplay Mastery Course.

Some people find the edging technique to be both effective and pleasurable, prolonging arousal and building up sensation towards a more intense orgasm. Other people get frustrated and don’t like the sensation of constantly “holding back” orgasm. Try it for yourself and see how it feels. Our Foreplay Mastery techniques will guide you through the strokes and strategies to create maximum pleasure while exploring the edging technique.

In masturbation, edging can be a really useful exploration, bringing your awareness to your arousal and experimenting with what it feels like to ride that edge of climax. You can experiment with different rhythms of stimulation, breathing techniques and body movements and learn about your arousal cycle. Edging sex techniques keep your solo sex life interesting and add an element of a challenge, building your skills each time you self-pleasure.

Once you master the edging technique in your masturbation practice, you can bring all of this self-knowledge to your lover and contribute to a richer partnered sex life. Explore edging with a partner if you want in-depth practice of communication. As your partner stimulates you towards climax, both of you then must become aware of your body and arousal – communicate about how close you are feeling and explore the sensation of staying just on the edge of orgasm.

Can your partner feel the tiny contractions of the pelvic muscles that precede orgasm? Can your partner hear your breath changing, notice the shift in your moans, or detect other signs of climax in your body? Explore ways to keep your arousal high, while incorporating more full body touch. Playing with maintaining arousal with a partner can be a great way to learn about one another, discover new techniques and learn to pay attention and communicate with both precision and passion.

Q&A: How Do I Make My Ejaculations Stronger?

Question:: When I was young I used to have strong ejaculations with plenty of ejaculate with strong ‘squirts’ up until i was in my 40’s. Since then it got to be less and less ejaculate. I’m in my early 60’s now and there is very little, a quarter teaspoon and it oozes out… no squirt for many years. What can i do to get the ‘squirt’ back.. more ejaculate.. is it possible? Doc says I have possible prostatitis and there is increasing PSA over the past couple of years… but still low numbers.

Hey there,

We are not doctors so can’t comment on medical issues: great that you are getting support in that area! Of course, things like good hydration, movement and healthy food will all have a strong influence on your sexual performance, so all of these areas are opportunities for optimization! Walking a few miles a day can do wonders for your sex life!

The best recommendation we can make for ejaculation strength is to relax chronic constriction in the pelvic muscles. Check out our guide on butt massage and the guide to prostate massage, both will give you powerful techniques to build strength and bring more vitality to your sexual system. You may also want to read our ebook on ejaculation control, which covers pelvic clenching exercises to gain strength and control over your ejaculations. You’ll find the guide to ejaculation control in our Foreplay Mastery Course.

Let me know if you have any more questions. Thanks for being in touch!

Chris

The Blowjob Swallow Debate

Blowjob Swallow

Comment::

Hi. I really liked your article on yourtango.com about how to give a blowjob. Especially your answer to the comment about the blowjob swallow debate. I loved your idea of thinking of swallowing as honoring and respectful and oral sex as a gift. That’s a great way to put it!

I find it strange and annoying when sex experts or authors of books or articles on blowjobs spend more time explaining ways to avoid letting guys cum in your mouth when you’re sucking their penis or ways to avoid swallowing. I’ve never understood why that would be more enjoyable for the guy, or even for the girl giving the blowjob.

Your comment reminded me of a friend I had in school, she got into oral sex before I did and helped me out with tips when I was starting out. She felt that a guy’s cum was her reward for the blowjob. I always thought that was a cute way of looking at it, and when you actually think that way while you’re going down on someone it really makes you look forward to the guy getting off in your mouth. And when you think about it, it kind of makes sense. Isn’t it a privilege to be able to make men release their semen into your mouth just with a little attention from your lips and tongue? And like you said by swallowing it’s like your honoring that event. To me at least it’s deeply satisfying and exciting to feel a man’s orgasm and his ejaculation through my lips and tongue.

I think this topic would make for a helpful article on your site, btw. Thanks for your positive attitude about it. Your article put me in a mood to give a blow job, or two! 😉

Megan

A:: Thanks for writing in, Megan, about your feelings in the great blowjob swallow debate! Some women may never want to swallow, and that is their choice. What is essential is that we honor our bodily fluids as part of the gift of our incredible human sexuality – when we talk about the “blowjob swallow” as something nasty and disgusting, we disrespect the male body. We think it is time to reframe the conversation and allow ejaculates to be honored – and that can include a “blowjob swallow” or not! Whether or not you want to swallow, we recommend mastering handjob skills! Being able to give a great handjob makes oral sex way more pleasurable, and if you aren’t in the mood to swallow you can finish him off with your hands and choose where the ejaculate lands!