Pleasure Mechanics

Sex Tips For More Orgasmic Intercourse

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Sex Tips For More Orgasmic Intercourse

Before we share our sex tips for more orgasmic intercourse, remember that penis-vagina intercourse (PVI) is just one act amongst many that count as “sex.”

Far too much emphasis is put on intercourse as a measure of a great sex life. We encourage you to explore using your hands and mouth to arouse one another as a central part of your sex life. The truth is, these are the most reliable ways to generate female orgasm!

For complete guidance on mastering these essential sex acts, check out our Foreplay Mastery Course.

We know Penis-Vagina-Intercourse is a big part of sex for lots of people, so let’s look at how to make it more pleasurable for both partners.

Tune into the podcast for a complete discussion of these sex tips. Just hit the “play” button on the top of this page!

Sex Tip #1: Make sure receptive body is ready for penetration

  • Start with lots of full body touch
  • We recommend orgasm or high arousal before penetration (hear more about that here)
  • Before penetration with a penis, be sure to use your fingers to warm the body up! (Master fingering techniques by enrolling in the Foreplay Mastery Course)

Sex Tip #2: Emphasize Clitoral Stimulation

  • 80% of women DO NOT orgasm through intercourse alone.
  • Most people need direct genital stimulation to experience orgasm.
  • Emphasize clitoral / penile / shaft stimulation before AND during intercourse
  • It is often easiest for the receptive partner to stimulate their own genitals once intercourse has started

Sex Tip #3: Master Graceful Penetration

  • The first moment of penetration can be exquisite and sets the tone for the entire session
  • Make sure not to penetrate before she is ready
  • Try holding still and letting her slide onto the penis at her own pace
  • Try holding still outside the entrance and then enter one inch at a time
  • Once in awhile, plunging in will feel good but make sure it is the right moment and she is really aroused before you do!

Sex Tip #4: Use Lube

  • Remember, wetness is not a good indicator of arousal
  • Women can be aroused but not wet, or wet but not aroused
  • Whenever it is needed, use good quality, all natural lube. We recommend the lube from Good Clean Love – use the code “pleasure” at checkout for 33% off your order!

Sex Tip #5: Master Your Movement

  • Remember that jackhammer thrusting is not the only way
  • Explore depths, rhythms, speed
  • Ask her what she wants and pay attention to what she is responding to

Sex Tip #6: Explore (Sensible) Sex Positions

  • Too much emphasis on positions but most are not practical if you want to relax into pleasure
  • What makes a great sex position depends on how your two bodies fit together, so you have to experiment
  • Use pillows under hips, standing on side of bed, use furniture creatively
  • Focus on comfort and the ability to thrust and move easily
  • Take turns being the more active one, let him rest and her do the work once in awhile

Sex Tip #7: How To Last Longer In Bed

  • Focus on making overall sex last longer with foreplay and attention to her pleasure
  • To make intercourse last longer, gain control over your ejaculation. Our complete program to last longer in bed is part of our Foreplay Mastery Course

Sex Tip #8: Explore The Extras

  • Hold still inside, explore her squeezing and releasing pelvic muscles
  • Make and hold eye contact
  • Use full body touch during intercourse to maximize skin to skin contact
  • Adjust your erotic attitude, from sexual scarcity to sexual abundance.
  • Embrace the spiritual side of sex

Long Distance Relationship Sex For Everyone

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You may be in a long distance relationship – even if you share a bed every night.

When you think about it, long distance relationships are really “low in-person time together” relationships.

We recently talked to a doctor who worked opposite shifts as her doctor husband. She said it felt “like sharing a home with a ghost.”  Many people are so busy that their once a month date night is the only time they really get to talk to one another.

Think about it – how many hours per week do you spend with your lover? How many of those hours are devoted fully to being together as lovers, connecting?

For many couples, time together is far too scarce. This distance (whether physical or not) can work for and against your love life.

On one hand, distance creates longing and anticipation. You may cherish your time together and not take one another for granted.

On the other hand, distance can create emotional chasms between you and you may find it hard to connect when you have the chance. You may feel a lot of pressure when you do have the chance to be together, and that pressure can make intimacy fizzle out.

Whether you live in the same home or on different continents, there are strategies for staying connected and maintaining a great love life when time together is scarce.

In this week’s episode you will:

  • find out how to get all of your needs met (without relying on one person!)
  • learn how to cultivate your own sexual energy
  • get strategies so you and your partner don’t become erotic strangers
  • find the balance between building anticipation and being authentic
  • optimize the sexiness of long distance relationships while minimizing the risks

Don’t miss this episode if you have ever felt distant from your lover!

Is Masturbation Healthy?

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Is Masturbation Healthy?

We receive email every day asking us if masturbation is healthy. This question stems from hundreds of years of anti-masturbation crusading. For generations, we’ve been taught that masturbation is unhealthy, shameful and sinful.

Here’s the naked truth: Masturbation Is Healthy! Masturbation is great for your health, your relationship to pleasure and can even be a positive force in your relationships.

The real question is this: is YOUR relationship to masturbation a healthy one? Do you touch  yourself for pleasure? Does it make you feel good about yourself? Does it give you energy?

Or is masturbation a compulsion without much pleasure anywhere to be found? Do you do it the same way, day after day? Do you feel depleted or sad after you climax? Then it may be time to rethink your solo sex life!

Frequency of Masturbation:

There is no one right number of times per day, week or year to masturbate. Some people masturbate a few times a day, some a few times a week, others a few times a month or year.

Only you can know what is best for you. Becoming aware of your patterns and more deliberate in your choices around masturbation will make it more satisfying and a more energizing part of your life.

If you feel stuck in a masturbation rut, or feel like you masturbate compulsively – that is, without choice and/or against your better judgement – it may be time to change up your patterns and bring more awareness to your self-touch.

Quality of Masturbation:

Many people masturbate from a feeling of sexual longing – there is a feeling or experience we have powerful desire for but are not achieving. If this is the case, check in with that longing and see if there are elements of that fantasy or desire you can bring into your sex life, solo or partnered. See if you can create the feeling state you are looking for.

  • How much pleasure can you allow yourself to feel in your body?
  • What are you seeking? Is there a feeling you are going for? Do you reach it?
  • Is there variety in your masturbation?
  • Do you feel more or less energized after masturbating?

 

The Art Of The Blowjob

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Art of Blowjob Podcast Episode

Oral pleasure is one of the most divisive of intimate acts. Most men want way more, but many women cringe at the thought of it. Couples use it as a bargaining tool.  Women use it as a way of avoiding other kinds of intimacy. Men long to be treated to a long and luxurious session of oral pleasure, only to be let down by a “let’s get it over with” attitude.

Perhaps we’ve all been cheated by the story we tell about it. Does it have to be a demeaning, humiliating experience for the woman giving it? What if, instead, it was understood as an act of love, a profound gift of pleasure offered with pride? What if women were encouraged to find the pleasure of giving enjoying the sensation of her lover’s most tender parts in her mouth? What if women could get off on playing with the power dynamics of oral pleasure, feeling as dominant or submissive as she wishes? What if oral pleasure could be an erotic experience for both lovers?

A few of you have probably experienced the joy of finding mutual pleasure in oral. For anyone who is still struggling to figure out how to make this a more enjoyable experience, this week’s podcast is a must-listen.

This week, we interviewed the producer of elegant adult websites that portray oral pleasure with reverence, humor and beauty. We talk about how to reframe the conversation in a way that puts women in the driver’s seat and encourages them to find their own pleasure in giving this most intimate of pleasures. We share strategies for both giver and receiver to maximize pleasure for all involved!

More on oral pleasure, including exclusive bonus tips from Sophie Delancey on The Art of Blowjobs, can be found in the Foreplay Mastery Course

Just The Tip: Exhibitionism and Voyeurism

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Exhibitionism and Voyeurism

In this episode we share an excerpt from Carol Queen’s Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex Positive Culture and discuss the erotic thrills of exhibitionsim and voyeurism.

We cover:

  • The erotic power in both being looked at and looking at someone else with pure erotic abandon.
  • How voyeurism has been problematized because it is often done with predatory, non consensual energy. The kind we are talking about is purely consensual and extremely hot!
  • How you can play with exhibitionism and voyeurism in your relationship or out in the world.
  • Why exhibitionism doesn’t have to be going as extreme as going to a sex party. We share simple ways to get started.
  • How to practice Benevolent Voyeurism.

Your Challenge: Practice both seeing and being seen out in the world. Notice what it brings up and see if you can find the erotic thrill in both exhibitionism and voyeurism!