Pleasure Mechanics

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Consent

All great sex has one thing in common: it is entirely consensual. Consent means fully participating in the sex you are having, without any pressure or coercion. Hopefully, consent is enthusiastic and passionate. If you have any doubts that your erotic partner is not fully consenting to the sex you are having, take a moment to check in or stop what you are doing!

Speaking of Sex Podcast Episodes About Consent:

  • Before Pleasure, Comes Safety
  • Taking Turns In Bed: How To Practice Giving and Receiving Pleasure
  • Sex Out Of Obligation
  • Explicit Monogamy Agreements

Here are some great resources about erotic consent:

  • Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin
  • The Consent Post by Elena Kate on Rad Sex: Radical Sex Education for Everyone
  • Driver’s Ed for the Sexual Superhighway: Navigating Consent by Heather Corinna on Scarleteen
  • What is Consent Anyway? on Self Care After Rape
  • Consent Is Sexy on UGA Student Affairs, University Health Center
  • Step Up Your Game on The Consensual Project
  • Sexual Assault Prevention and Response at Reed on Reed College
  • Casual…Cool? Making Choices About Casual Sex by Samantha Benac and Heather Corinna on Scarleteen
  • Intimacy: The Whys, Hows, How-Nots, and So-Nots by Heather Corinna on Scarleteen
  • Consent Culture by Cliff on The Pervocracy
  • Practicing Consent in Our Day to Day Lives on Self Care After Rape

Videos To Prompt Conversations About Consent

 

Birth Control

Need up to date information about birth control? Head over to Planned Parenthood. We are experts in pleasure – they are experts in your sexual health and wellbeing.

Here is a timeline of the history of birth control from Planned Parenthood Action. We are so grateful for all those who have struggled to gain more reproductive freedom and choice.

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Reverse Cowgirl Position

Ready to discover a fun sex position that can be hot for both you and your lover? Then saddle up for reverse cowgirl! 

The reverse cowgirl position describes intercourse with the female on top, facing away from her partner. Regular cowgirl is woman on top, facing her lover. Switching it up by facing away has a few benefits – and a few warnings. Read on for everything you need to know about the reverse cowgirl position.

Why Reverse Cowgirl is Hot:

Like all female-on-top sex positions, reverse cowgirl puts you in charge of penetration. When you are on top, you get to control the speed, angle and depth of penetration according to what feels best for you. This can be a huge game changer in how pleasurable intercourse feels to  you.

Another benefit? You can easily touch your own clitoris while on top. Remember, about 70% of women do not have orgasms though intercourse alone. One of The Pleasure Mechanics Golden Rules for Better Sex is that women have orgasms before intercourse begins so penetration can feel a whole lot better. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation through oral sex or manual stimulation to reach orgasm. So we recommend you train your lover in how to give you orgasms before focusing on adding new sex positions for intercourse! You’ll find that if your lover takes care of you first before you move on to intercourse, you’ll be more aroused and prepared for penetration. To keep the orgasms coming, add clitoral stimulation during intercourse. The Reverse Cowgirl position is great for adding clitoral stimulation as you ride away! 

Focus on getting into a good rhythm with your lover. He may be eager to thrust, so hold still and give him a turn. Then ask him to relax and let you ride. Eventually, you’ll be able to find an easy harmony as you synchronize your movements with his and find a rhythm that works for both of you!

The Reverse Cowgirl also gives your lover a great view of your sexy back and butt. A lot of guys love this vision, but some women get shy about how they look during sex. Give it a try, and know that even with a few extra pounds, your curves look glorious and he’ll love seeing your hips move! Try looking coyly over your shoulder as you move: we guarantee he’ll love the flirtatious glances!

Reverse Cowgirl Challenges:

As hot as Reverse Cowgirl can be, there are a few challenges with this sex position. The biggest challenge is that many men have a penis that is gently curved towards the belly button. In front-facing sex position this angle works to your advantage as the head is more likely to hit the sensitive front wall of the vagina. When you turn around, as in Reverse Cowgirl, the curvature is pointed away from your g-spot. Try it out and notice if it makes a big difference in your experience or not. 

The best way to negotiate his curvature in the Reverse Cowgirl positions is to lean back as you ride. Instead of leaning forward towards his feet, lean back towards his chest. Plant your hands on his chest or along each side of his body so your torso is at an angle, leaning back towards your lover’s head. This will align your opening with the angle of his penis, making penetration a bit more comfortable for both of you. 

Another challenge? It is hard work being on top! Both Cowgirl and Reverse Cowgirl are true tests of your sexual fitness. You can be on top in a deep squat, using your powerful thigh muscles to bounce up and down. Or, you can be on  your knees and move up and down from there. If you have a hard time keeping up momentum in the Reverse Cowgirl position, try taking your lovemaking to the couch. Have your lover sit on the couch, then sit on back while keeping your feet firmly planted on the floor. You’ll find this is probably way more comfortable than squatting over your lover in bed! Plus, having sex in different places adds the essential element of novelty to your sex life!

If you find yourself shy about being on top, try blindfolding your guy. By denying him his sense of sight, you’ll heighten his other senses which will make the feeling of you being on top even hotter for him. But the real bonus? You can stop worrying about how you look and get totally focused on the sensations and making the sex feel amazing. Without worrying about your performance, you’ll hopefully feel more free to let your hips move as you undulate and thrust in all the ways that feel best to you!

Remember, great sex isn’t about wild sex positions, it is about sharing exquisite pleasure with your partner. Allow your explorations of Reverse Cowgirl and other sex positions to simply be part of the fun, not a stressful goal. If one positions doesn’t work for you, try another. And remember to get your own orgasmic needs met first – train your man in the art of oral sex and fingering so he can lavish you with pleasure before intercourse even begins! Then you’ll find penetration and intercourse becomes much more pleasurable and possibly even orgasmic! 

Have a sex question you want answered? We offer expert sex advice for free! Ask Us Anything! Or join our free weekly newsletter to get weekly sex advice, exclusive giveaways and more!

Master The Art of Cunnilingus

Cunnilingus

Cunnilingus, the fancy name for oral sex on a woman, is one of the most exquisite and intimate of all sex acts. It is also one of the most challenging for many couples to enjoy. Discover proven strategies to enjoy sensational oral sex with The Pleasure Mechanics Guide to Cunnilingus, part of the Foreplay Mastery Online Course.

The Art of Cunnilingus

Designed to be read by both giver and receivers of cunnilingus, this book covers not only the physical techniques of amazing oral sex, but also the emotional issues that arise around this highly intimate act.

There are a lot of books out there that cover a few basic techniques for giving oral sex. But let’s face it: no fancy tongue stroke will bring her pleasure if she is unable to receive the pleasure you are offering. Many women struggle with common roadblocks that prevent them from relaxing and receiving the pleasures of oral sex. The skill of receiving oral pleasure is as important as the skills of giving – and this book covers both in thorough detail, offering effective strategies and proven techniques for maximum pleasure. One by one, we confront the most common issues that stand in the way of enjoying oral sex, and offer specific strategies to overcome them and get on your way to learning how to love receiving oral pleasure.

ForeplayGRCover

From extended warm-up strategies to techniques to ride the waves of multiple orgasms, we cover the art of cunnilingus with clear, practical techniques that you’ll be able to use right away. You’ll learn how to read your lover’s body cues and communicate both verbally and non-verbally to optimize your experience of oral stimulation. We skip the gimmicks and silly suggestions (who is actually going to write the alphabet with their tongue on their lover’s clitoris?) and go straight to highly effective techniques that work with the anatomy of the female sexual system to create maximum arousal.

Beyond the lick-by-lick guide to oral pleasure, you’ll learn how to integrate one or both hands to double (or triple!) her pleasure as you stimulate her clitoris with your mouth, and how to amp up the pleasure with a variety of sex toys. We also cover ten unique tongue exercises to develop endurance and precision, so you can offer her as much intense, focused stimulation as she desires.

CunnilingusOral sex can be an incredibly pleasurable part of your sex life – as a treat in and of itself and as a fabulous way to bring up the heat before intercourse. Gain the mastery you need to enjoy sensational oral sex, and savor a lifetime of pleasure.

 

Ready to master the art of pleasuring women?

Enroll in our Foreplay Mastery Course and get started tonight!

About Prostate Massage

Prostate massage is a healthy and pleasurable activity that can be enjoyed as part of your intimate life. Quite simply, prostate massage stimulates the prostate with a finger or massage tool with the intention of relaxation and/or pleasure. It is a way of directly stimulating the prostate to create a pleasurable release. The prostate is an essential part of the male sexual system, and plays a role in every ejaculation a male experiences. Prostate stimulation emphasizes the sensations of the prostate, and many men report that it leads to more powerful orgasms and more sexual pleasure.

Not to be confused with a medical prostate exam, or digital rectal exam as it is sometimes called, prostate massage is an intimate skill that can be learned and shared by lovers in the privacy of their own home. Comparing a medical prostate exam to the sexual act of prostate stimulation is a bit like comparing a gynecologist visit to having sex. The same physical acts, in different contexts with different emotional meanings, are completely different experiences.

Many guys enjoy prostate massage as part of a healthy sex life with their partner. You can also explore prostate stimulation as part of masturbation. However you chose to explore it, be assured that enjoying prostate or anal stimulation does not mean you are gay! The prostate is part of the male sexual system, no matter what your orientation. Many straight men are discovering the powerful pleasure potential of the prostate and allowing themselves to enjoy it as part of their sex life.

How to Learn Prostate Massage

Prostate MassageLearn With Video: The Pleasure Mechanics Guide to Prostate Massage: The #1 Bestselling Video on Prostate Massage

Learn By Reading: The Pleasure Mechanics Handbook on Prostate Massage
If you have any questions about prostate stimulation, be in touch with us – you can always Ask Us Anything!
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