Pleasure Mechanics

Arousal

What Is Arousal?

Arousal is the experience of our systems “upregulating” in response to stimulation – for our purposes we will be focusing on sexual arousal, the stimulation in response to pleasurable erotic stimulation (which can be a touch, a sight, even a thought!)

Arousal can be brief or prolonged, sought out or spontaneous. The dictionary definition of “arouse” is “to evoke or awaken.”  This definition reminds us that arousal awakens the erotic part of us that is always within us, a part of our very being.

Stimulation from any number of sources can awaken this energy, bringing our attention more fully to our sexuality and desires. Humans can even be aroused by thoughts alone, the memory or an idea of pleasure is enough to stimulate the system and create full body arousal.

Want to build more arousal with. your partner and have more turned-on sex? Our Foreplay Mastery Course has all of the approaches and techniques you’ll need!

The Dual Control Model Of Arousal

One of the most important things to know about arousal is that it is contextual and the overall experience of sexual arousal involves both the gas and the brakes, the things that excite you and that which inhibits your arousal from moving forward. Learn all about this game-changing perspective in Best of Speaking of Sex Episode : AROUSAL : The Dual Control Model

Resources To Explore Arousal, Pleasure & Orgasm

Speaking of Sex Podcast Episodes About Arousal

Arousal and Desire

We humans are capable of a wide range of sexual arousal and pleasurable climaxes. Some people like to have one intense climax, others enjoy having a series of orgasms. Some people struggle to have an orgasm at all, while others want to learn to sustain arousal and delay orgasm or ejaculation. With so many possible ways to feel sexual pleasure, it is important to explore a wide range of pleasure responses and be able to experience the kind of arousal and climax you most desire.

People have different sexual goals. Men are often more concerned about trying to prolong arousal and even not ejaculate during arousal, while women are often interested in becoming orgasmic or multi-orgasmic. we can all experience both, and here are some tools to help you experience a wider range of arousal and climax.

To begin paying more attention to your arousal patterns and develop an ability to author your own arousal experiences, it is good to begin with your masturbation practice. This is like a laboratory for your sexual expression. Then you can begin experimenting with a partner.

The Pleasures of Pegging

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The Pleasures of Pegging

What Is Pegging?

Pegging is the erotic act of a woman wearing a strap-on dildo and anally penetrating a man.

This act, popularized first in the “Bend Over Boyfriend” video series, has been depicted in erotic art throughout history and across cultures.

The term “pegging” was coined by sex columnist Dan Savage, who recognized the surging popularity of the act and thought it was time this act had a good name. The term pegging stuck, and it is now one of the most popular fantasies for heterosexual men.

Why Does Pegging Feel Good? 

Pegging can be a highly pleasurable act, for both partners. The anus is one of the most highly sensitive parts of the human body, and many people love the sensations of both external and internal anal stimulation. Some people eroticize the gender play of seeing a woman wear a strap-on and take on the penetrative role in sex. Others just love the sensation of being “filled up” and enjoy the sensations of anal penetration with a strap-on toy.

Many women love the feeling of being in charge, of switching up the roles of intercourse and watching their male lover respond to the sensations of being penetrated. When a strap-on is well fitted and positioned, the base of the dildo grinds into the clitoris and pubic bone, offering pleasurable stimulation with every thrust. There are also harness and dildo models that allow a woman to wear a vibrator, or even a double-ended dildo that allows both partners to be penetrated at the same time.

 How To Get Started With Pegging

ProstateBadgeAnal penetration is intense and must be taken slowly in order to be pleasurable. If rushed, anal penetration can be painful, leading to lasting injuries. So go slow!

If you are new to anal stimulation, we highly recommend starting with your fingers to begin exploring the external sensations and the slowly proceed to penetration with just one little finger, allowing the slow relaxation and opening of the anal sphincters. Our best advice is to join our Prostate Mastery Course. This online course guides you stroke by stroke through highly pleasurable external and internal stimulation. Once you master the techniques in this course, you will be ready to proceed to penetration with a larger strap-on toy and the full pegging experience, if you so choose.

Pegging Toys

Click here to check out some of our favorite pegging and strap-on sex toys at GoodVibes.com

 

Fantasy Vs. Desire

Fantasies and Desires are two very different categories, and it is essential to make a clear distinction so you can freely Explore Your Fantasies & Name Your Desires

Just like we can enjoy action movies without any real desire to be in an exploding building, the realm of sexual fantasy is where anything is possible and we are free to explore. Meanwhile, your Desires are what you actually want more of in real life!

Fantasy Vs. Desire

Fantasy: the faculty or activity of imagining things, esp. things that are impossible or improbable.

Desire: a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.

Something changes from a fantasy to a desire as soon as you want to make it real. Pleasures may change from one category to the other over your lifetime.

Explore Your Fantasies, Name Your Desires

Here are some of our interactive resources to help you explore your fantasies and name your specific desires so you can get more of what you want! Ready for more? Join The Pleasure Pod & Unlock Members Only Resources

More On Fantasy Vs. Desire

Fantasy is the world of pure erotic imagination. The human body responds to erotic thoughts the same way it responds to erotic stimulation from outside. So the power of fantasy can be used to name your specific desires, tap into more arousal and discover the patterns of your turn-on.

Some people fantasize about past sexual experiences, remembering peak erotic experiences. 

Other fantasies center on who we wish we could be, or might have been, projecting an idealized self into an idealized world. 

Other fantasies are about what we would like to experience if anything was possible and there were no real world limitations where mythical creatures and supernatural beings with powers can transport us beyond the daily grind.

Fantasy can run the gamut from simple pleasures to elaborate scenarios, can be mild or wild, based on experiences we want to have or those we would never even consider enacting. Fantasy is just that – the magical place in your mind where everything and anything is possible.

Noticing the fabric of your fantasies can give you important information about your own arousal. You can choose to make some of your fantasies come true, or leave them as fantasy only pleasures, private worlds of pleasure in your mind.

Yab Yum

Yab Yum is a posture used in neo-Tantra, where one partner sits cross legged or with legs extended. The other partner sits facing them in the lap, legs wrapped around their waist.  Both partners place their right hand on the nape of their partner’s neck, and their left hand at the small of their lover’s back

Yab Yum (yabyum to some!) is a very intimate posture, allowing full body contact, while being able to look right in one another’s eyes.

This posture can be done with our without penetration. It is often used as a posture for breathing practices and intimacy exercises.